Over the past 3 days I've been
teaching the Double Your Dating LIVE! Seminar in New York... and it was an
There were guys who flew in from all over the world sharing and learning
And, of course, I always learn so much by teaching and interacting with a
great group of guys. This program was no exception...
One of the things that we talked over and discussed a lot was the idea of
why women feel ATTRACTION for some men while NOT feeling it for others (even
though the men that a woman feels ATTRACTION for might not be good choices
for her because they're abusive, etc.).
If you recall, one of the concepts that I teach goes something like this:
ATTRACTION isn't something that is logically chosen.
ATTRACTION is basically an EMOTIONAL RESPONSE to certain cues and behaviors.
One of the things I've isolated that seems to cause women to feel this
magical ATTRACTION to men is the idea that I call being "Cocky & Funny".
This is simply using an arrogant style of humor when you're dealing with
attractive women that leads to them feeling the emotion of ATTRACTION for
I realized as I was teaching
this weekend that several of the guys in the program were having trouble
getting the idea that a woman could feel an emotion like ATTRACTION in
response to something as seemingly unrelated as making arrogant jokes
(especially about her) and making her laugh.
I mean, how COULD this possibly work?
I thought I'd take this newsletter and talk a bit about why I think that
something so illogical could help you to create ATTRACTION, and some
specifics about how to do it.
First the "WHY"...
Remember, women feel ATTRACTION for a very different set of reasons than men
Where men focus more on LOOKS, women focus more on PERSONALITY, SELF ESTEEM,
POWER, and several other more "intangible" qualities.
Women also love men who can make them laugh.
And by watching a lot of guys who are VERY good at attracting women, I've
noticed a common pattern.
Most of these guys use a common way of communicating with women that
communicates the above qualities WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING TO SAY THAT THEY
I call this way of communicating "Cocky & Funny", and it's one of the
cornerstones of attracting women.
I believe that when a man is Cocky & Funny, he triggers a primal response
inside of women that creates an instant emotional ATTRACTION.
This is because women come "pre-wired" with an internal template of what
comprises a desirable mate, and a set of emotional trigger buttons that,
when pushed, create that powerful emotional response called ATTRACTION that
compels her to mate with the man who triggers it.
Most men have no idea that this mechanism exists or how to trigger it, so
they do traditional "nice guy" things like buying dinners, gifts, and
flowers... and giving women compliments... and calling them all the time
(which usually have the OPPOSITE of the desired effect when used too much,
and too early on).
As I got to know more and more guys who were REALLY GOOD with women, I
started to see that they weren't afraid to make fun of attractive women,
bust on them, and even challenge them... but it was always done in a VERY
FUNNY, even charming way.
At first I just assumed that it was the fact that this pattern was just a
technique that my friends were using to make conversation.
Only after really paying attention, trying out this technique myself quite a
bit, and LOOKING CLOSELY AT THE ACTUAL RESPONSES I WAS GETTING did I begin
to realize the UNBELIEVABLY POWERFUL EMOTIONAL RESPONSES that this one
concept was generating.
And after working on it, testing it, refining it, and studying the finer
points about women, men, and the whole "mating process" did I begin to
really understand how well this worked.
The concept is pretty simple:
1. Take an arrogant comment.
2. Add humor to make it funny.
3. Feel free to use this combination when poking fun at the woman you're
Here's a simple example:
Let's say you're walking down the street with a woman and she says "Wow, I
really like those shoes in the window" and you answer "You would".
Here's another one:
Let's say you're talking to a woman who's wearing a pair of shoes with four
inch heels, and you say "So what, are you about four feet tall without the
You're saying things that are FUNNY while at the same time A BIT ARROGANT.
An added bonus that these two examples demonstrate is that neither one is
It's obvious that you're making fun of her, but it's not exactly clear what
When you communicate like this, you communicate:
1. That you're confident.
2. That you're comfortable.
3. That you're intelligent.
4. That you're funny.
...which, of course, are all qualities that lead to a woman feeling
Of course, most men wouldn't even THINK about saying things like this to a
woman that they find attractive because they fear REJECTION.
Most men would also say that I must be CRAZY for thinking that these kinds
of comments would trigger an EMOTIONAL response of ATTRACTION inside of a
I can understand this, because when I first saw guys being Cocky & Funny
with women, I PERSONALLY couldn't believe that it was what was creating the
But the fact is that IT DOES CREATE ATTRACTION.
And as illogical as it seems, if you learn how to cultivate the skill of
being Cocky & Funny, you'll notice an AMAZING difference in the way that
women respond to you.
You'll find that the more you refine and perfect the technique, the more
women will want to talk to you, be around you, and feel the uncontrollable
urges associated with ATTRACTION.
So here's the formula again: When you're in a situation with a woman, say
things that are both Cocky & Funny.
Let's say you're talking to a woman, and she says "Here, let me buy this
round of drinks".
You might respond by saying "Look, don't think that just because you buy me
a drink that I'm going to go home with you. I'm not that easy...".
Or maybe she mentions that she just started working as a waitress... and you
say "Well, that's a deal breaker for me, because I need a woman who makes
enough to support the both of us so I can pursue my life-long goal of being
a house husband".
Or maybe you're talking about pop music and you say "Wow, I really love this
new music they're making these days... the sophisticated lyrical content of
say, an NSYNC song, or the complex vocal arrangement of a Britney hit...".
Are you with me?
These are all FUNNY and at the same time ARROGANT.
One of the exercises that I recommended this weekend was to take some time
and come up with a whole bunch of Cocky & Funny comments that YOU can use in
the most common "real world" situations you find yourself meeting women
in... and then mentally rehearse them so you have them ready in your mind to
When you use this magical way of communicating with women, you'll find that
it often sparks an INSTANT sexual tension, and sets up a perfect interaction
between you and the woman you're talking to.
It creates a wonderful, entertaining CHALLENGE that women just LOVE to
It not only sets you apart from other men, but as I mentioned, it also
triggers that wonderful emotion called ATTRACTION at the same time.
Of course, this is one part of a much bigger picture of how to use your
personality to create sexual tension and ATTRACTION from the VERY BEGINNING
of your interactions with women.
To learn more, just go to
- just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy.
...and read it, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
P.S. As you can probably imagine, I get a TON of email... So if you'd like
to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate
all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your
stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the
specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of
the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're
5) Send it to me at:
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