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 Let me ask you a question.
What is "SUCCESS" to you when it comes to women?
If I asked you to give me a detailed explanation of EXACTLY how your life
would be if you had ULTIMATE SUCCESS with women, could you do it?
Sure, most guys would say something like "Success to me would be being able
to walk up to any woman and get a date with her"... or "Success to me would
be dating as many women as I wanted"... or "Success to me would be having a
really sexy girlfriend", etc.
These are the kinds of answers I hear when I ask guys this question.
But there's a PROBLEM with these answers. NONE OF THEM REALLY MEAN
ANYTHING.
If you learn how to approach any woman and get a date, you'll soon find that
you don't know what to DO once you're actually out ON the dates... how to
take things to a physical level, how to kiss her, etc...
If you start dating several women at a time, you'll quickly realize that
it's a MAJOR challenge to juggle all of those relationships and maintain a
happy life...
If you find a really sexy girlfriend, there's a good chance that she'll have
a whole bunch of personal issues and problems that you never anticipated...
You have to be careful what you wish for in life, because you'll often get
it.
I've found that guys usually make TWO major mistakes then it comes to
SUCCESS with women:
1) Most guys haven't really thought through what success means to them in
detail.
2) Most guys base their personal idea of success on what OTHERS want, and
not what THEY want for themselves.
In fact, I was one of the guys
that made BOTH of these mistakes.
I can remember when I first decided to ONCE AND FOR ALL learn how to be
"successful" with women.
I had this idea in my mind that if I could just learn how to get women's
phone numbers quickly and easily that I would be successful beyond my
wildest dreams.
So I went to work on figuring it out.
I probably spent a good six or twelve months trying all kinds of different
tricks to get women's phone numbers quickly.
And I figured out some great techniques.
I can literally get a woman's number within a few minutes of meeting her.
But once I learned this skill, I was hit with a MAJOR realization: Most of
the women I was meeting never turned into DATES.
They either didn't return my calls, refused my requests, or just plain
flaked out on me.
It was VERY frustrating.
The other problem I had was looking around at what OTHER guys were doing and
saying "I want to be able to do what HE does..." or "I want to date the
kinds of women HE dates".
And I secretly had this idea that if I knew how to date HOT women that all
my friends would like me more and think I was a really cool guy.
Well guess what?
First of all, just because another guy is doing something doesn't mean that
it would make ME happy. In fact, I realized that in many cases it wasn't
even making HIM happy.
I couldn't help comparing my success and the women I was dating with other
guys, and the women they were dating.
But it was a trap.
The more a person looks at what OTHERS are doing and focusing on that, the
less satisfied they are with what THEY are doing themselves.
And as far as other guys thinking I was "cool" because I was dating
attractive women... WRONG AGAIN.
Guys (even friends) usually envy you and resent the fact that you have
success and they don't. Especially when it comes to really attractive women.
So much for those losing strategies.
SO WHAT'S THE ANSWER?
Well, it's taken me a few years to really put all the puzzle pieces together
and figure out how to resolve these issues.
Here's what I've come up with:
1) REALLY THINK ABOUT WHAT SUCCESS MEANS TO YOU IN DETAIL, AND WRITE IT
DOWN.
Take the time (even if it takes days or weeks... or longer) and think
through what you want for yourself.
Do a little "self examination" (no, not down there), and be honest with
yourself.
See if you can figure out where your idea of what "success" is came from.
Did it come from watching movies?
Did it come from guys you know?
Where did you get your model of what "success with women" is?
Once you've figured out where some of your ideas came from, then think about
what you want.
Think about your life and your lifestyle.
Instead of looking at Playboy and thinking to yourself "I'd sure like to
have seven blonde girlfriends in my bed", try thinking about what would make
you HAPPY on an ongoing basis.
Take some time to write down the things you like in a woman. Write down what
you DON'T like.
Get a clear picture in your mind of how you'd like your life to be, and what
kind of success with women would make your life more enjoyable.
After researching this topic for a few years now, I've come to the opinion
that most guys (80%-90%) actually want to have a great long-term
relationship with a fantastic woman.
Sure, some guys want to date around and sleep with a lot of women, but the
majority of guys would really like to meet an exceptional woman and share a
great connection... long term.
But guess what?
You're not going to walk outside after you're finished reading this and find
that particular woman waiting on the corner for you.
In fact, you're probably not going to meet her anytime soon.
If you want to find a REALLY exceptional woman that is beautiful,
intelligent, funny, emotionally stable, financially independent, loving,
etc. then you're probably going to have to date QUITE A FEW women in order
to FIND her.
And when you DO find her, you can bet your ass that she's IN DEMAND. She
probably has MANY guys who are interested in her on an ongoing basis, and
she KNOWS that she has options.
TRANSLATION: You'd better have your sh** together when you do meet her, and
you'd better not be acting like an idiot.
So think through what success means, what you want, what you don't want, and
how you'd like your life to look ideally when it comes to women and dating.
2) LEARN THE RARE SKILL OF MAKING WOMEN FEEL THE MAGICAL EMOTION CALLED
ATTRACTION.
I have spent a long time now searching for the secrets of how ATTRACTION
works.
You'd probably guess that something as IMPORTANT and as POWERFUL as
ATTRACTION would be well-researched and widely written about.
Well guess what?
I can't find even ONE good book, audio tape series, seminar or website that
describes it.
NOT EVEN ONE.
I've read all kinds of "opinions" on attraction, but when I really compare
what I read and hear to my own personal knowledge and experience, I always
shake my head and say to myself "No, that's not right".
And by the way, if you've found a book, tape, seminar, or website, etc. that
lays it all out, let me know. I think I've reviewed just about everything
out there and met a lot of the experts on the topic... but maybe I've missed
something.
The point is that I think that success in this area of life basically ALL
comes down to understanding ATTRACTION.
I'm not talking about being "physically attractive", I'm talking about the
EMOTION of ATTRACTION.
If a woman feels ATTRACTION for a man, then nothing else matters.
His looks don't matter, his income doesn't matter, his age doesn't matter...
nothing matters.
On the other hand, if a woman DOESN'T feel ATTRACTION for a man, then
nothing else matters!
His looks, income, age, etc. just don't matter.
Nothing he can do can make her feel that emotion.
Sure, a woman can "fall for" a guy over time. But in these rare cases it's
not because of ATTRACTION. It's because she starts to feel an AFFECTION for
him, and settles for a long-term relationship. Incidentally, this usually
involves a man who pursues a woman, buys her gifts and dinners, behaves in a
way that puts her value above his, etc. And, incidentally, it usually
involves a woman who feels like she's SETTLING.
BUT, if you know how to make a woman feel that amazing and unique emotion
called ATTRACTION, then you will be in control of your dating success... and
YOU can decide on and control what happens to you.
A man who has his life together and actually understands how to make a woman
feel ATTRACTION is FAR more rare than a beautiful woman.
Think about that. An exceptional man who understands ATTRACTION is FAR more rare, valuable,
and desirable than even the most BEAUTIFUL woman.
If you don't believe me, then ASK some beautiful women how many men like
this they've known in their lifetimes.
They'll count them all on one hand.
You'll see.
And the best part, in my personal opinion, is that it doesn't take any
unusual talents, physical attributes, or large sums of money to learn these
skills.
All it takes is an understanding of how ATTRACTION works, a desire to learn
it, and the discipline to learn, practice, and improve over time.
What's a good way to get started?
Well, you're doing it.
I think that reading these articles are one of the best ways to get a
handle on how to make women feel ATTRACTION.
What's an even BETTER way?
I've taken knowledge from various fields... from brain research and
psychology to animal behavior and mating patterns... and combined it with my
real-world personal experience of figuring out what works.
There's no fluff, and no B.S.
One of the most common things I hear about this program is "This material
has completely changed the way I think about women".
I certainly wish that I would have had this program about five years ago...
when I started out.
It would have saved me about THREE years, and probably thousands of hours of
wasted time.
So if you haven't downloaded your copy of my online eBook "Double Your
Dating" yet, then you need to do that NOW. It's jam packed with concepts,
techniques, and specific step-by-step strategies for meeting and dating
women. It's the foundation for all the other things I teach, and it's fast
and easy to download and read. Just go to:
www.doubleyourdating.com
- just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy.
...and read it, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
David D.
P.S. As you can probably imagine, I get a TON of email... So if you'd like
to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate
all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your
stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the
specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in
different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of
the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're
from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@doubleyourdating.com |
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