DATING
TIP: Keeping A Woman Attracted To You
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*** Dating
Advice Tip ***
Hello, David!
I want to start by thanking you for your work. Once in a great while,
someone comes along that truly wants to help others succeed, and puts in
the effort to the research and testing, and makes something great for
others. You are one of those people, and I'm glad to see you succeed by
helping so many others do the same.
I was reaching to find answers, like a lot of us were, and found your
material. It has been awesome. In the last week, I saw the most
attractive woman I perhaps ever have. She was a 9.5 on my scale, which
is truly rare to find for me. Not just in looks, but a great
personality. Instead of giving in to my normal habits, I applied the
methods you taught. We went out to a club, and had a great time. I had
another friend of mine there, and I used him as a means to partially
ignore her at times, constantly making jokes that were just too quiet
for her to hear, and looking at her and smiling when doing it. She
constantly wanted to know what was funny, yet she wasn't mad, just shyly
curious. I was aloof, yet not terribly too distant from her. I would
wander off by myself, knowing she was with my friend, and leave them
hanging alone for a little while now and then. (I knew my friend wasn't
going to hit on her). I would go up to other girls and whisper something
in their ear right in front of her, to give her the idea that I was
completely comfortable in my own skin with women. Once, on my way back
from the dance floor, I found her with some other guy. I flashed a sly
little smile, but kept on walking right by, as if to imply "You have a
good time there. I could care less. As a matter of fact, you look a tad
pathetic coming on to him." She soon returned and said that I had been
gone too long, and some guy had "dragged her away from me". That night,
I had resisted the urge to act like anything but the kind of man you
would teach someone to be. All urges at wussness were disregarded, and I
played the part to a tee. Even though it didn't entirely feel normal or
comfortable at first, I could see that it was definitely working, so I
kept it up. I would occasionally catch her staring at me from the corner
of my eye, sometimes for 2 or 3 seconds. I didn't react, but just kept
saying to myself "Damn. David has been right the whole time".
I woke up the next morning with a weird feeling...
this was something I had never achieved before. I don't mean sex with a
woman soon after I met her, but the fact that she was so damn gorgeous.
At the risk of sounding a little chauvinistic, she was the best girl I
have ever had. Well, over the next two weeks or so, I kept coming over
and doing things during the days with her and staying at night. This is
when things began to change.
You had a timeless question from a guy once who said something like
"After I sleep with a woman why do I feel like hating her?" Well, I
normally feel the same. But with this girl, it was different. I wanted
to keep her. But, the more time we spent together, the more we started
to both feel like whatever I sparked was fading quick. I could see the
thrill of our initial meeting was dying, and I wanted to add to my image
in her mind the idea that I could be a part of her daily life too, not
just the nighttime party one.
I felt like I had to show her something that proved I didn't just want
her for sex. I knew I couldn't let her interpret it as me buying her
attention or body, although I'm afraid that may have been exactly what I
did. I ended up purchasing her and her roommate a full stock of
groceries, which they definitely needed. It gave me some kind of a sense
that I had shown that I was more than just a sex buddy, which really
felt good to me. However, lately she has pulled away. We will still go
out and have a good time, but more like friends, with only a little
flirting. She now refuses sex, saying "it would complicate things." By
the way, although she has been in long-term relationships since she was
16, she currently isn't, and seems to be enjoying the party life a lot.
She is 22 now. I know you said in your audio series that it is a mistake
to try to tie down a party girl, but she told me of her long-term
history with guys, and that's why I tried. Did I screw up by getting too
close too fast? Was it unrealistic for me to show that kind of attention
to her needs that quick or at all? How many times should a guy see a
girl each week if he wants to keep up the attraction and have a great
time, but not become too familiar
to her?
Thanks man.
Confused, -J
David D. >>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, I feel your pain. I'm sure that just about every man alive can
identify with this story in one way or another... even if it doesn't
involve a woman that you'd describe as a "9.5".
So let's talk about the situation you're in, what happened at first, and
what to do now...
First of all, congratulations on the fact that you were able to make
this kind of success happen in the first place!
You're doing great, and I know how good it feels to have this kind of
success with a really attractive woman.
It sounds like you're really starting to "get it" at a deep level. The
more you continue to study the materials you have (especially the CD
Series) the more you'll understand how to attract these UNUSUALLY
attractive women... and more importantly, KEEP THEM ATTRACTED. Let's
review a few of my main concepts, and how they apply to this
situation...
ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE
Explained differently, a woman doesn't CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE to feel
attracted to a man. A woman also doesn't consciously choose to STOP her
attraction for a man. It happens for reasons that seem very illogical to
most men.
The things you were doing when you first met this girl were EXACTLY the
right things for creating this wonderful feeling of ATTRACTION inside of
her. And she obviously enjoyed it tremendously.
You mentioned that you didn't feel totally comfortable at first, but
since it was obvious that she was becoming more and more interested in
you, you kept going...
which led to you getting together with her.
But remember the flip side: If you start doing the WRONG things, the
woman will LOSE her ATTRACTION for you as well. And it will happen ALL
BY ITSELF. The worst part is that you can't logically convince her to
keep feeling attracted to you. If you screw it up, you're probably going
to screw it up to a point that is almost impossible to fix.
GIVE HER THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU
What do most guys do as soon as they meet a REALLY HOT, ultra-attractive
woman?
Of course! They call three times a day, and want to see her all the
time. Attractive women know better than to do this. When an attractive
woman meets a man she likes, she usually PLAYS HARD TO GET. Instead of
calling, she acts like she's BUSY. This makes the man try even harder,
and pursue her even more...
It sounds like you did exactly the opposite. In your email here you say:
"Well, over the next two weeks or so, I kept coming over and doing
things during the days with her and staying at night. This is when
things began to change..."
No no no!
Over the next two weeks you should have called her every few days, and
seen her maybe three times for a few hours each. No "doing things during
the days with her and staying at night"!
You really need to remember to GIVE HER THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU!
If you're around all the time, you become predictable, expected, and
uninteresting.
On the other hand, if you're mysterious, challenging, and hard to pin
down, she will think about you and miss the times she's had with you.
DON'T TURN INTO A WUSS
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This is one of the biggest mistakes that men make when they meet a woman
that they REALLY like.
I get a lot of emails from saying "I met this girl, and I used
everything I've learned from Double Your Dating to get her... but now
that we've been seeing each other for awhile things are changing, and
I'm starting to lose control of how I act... and I'm turning into my old
Wussy self..."
As I'm sure you can guess, this is bad bad bad for attraction. When you
start out by doing things that are attractive to her, then gradually
turn into a WUSS BAG, you go from her wildest dream to her worst
nightmare right in front of her eyes.
If you figure out how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then KEEP
DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING!
Don't start being a clingy Wuss. Translation: Don't spend every day and
night with her, don't buy her groceries, and don't try to get her into a
relationship fifteen minutes after you meet her. You also mentioned a
few little words that stood out for me: "I kept coming over...".
YOU kept coming over. When you're the one coming to her, then she's the
one in control. Think about it. This is a small point, and it isn't
always the case, but in this situation it makes a difference.
So what should you do now?
You should give her some space. Don't call her more than once or twice a
week, and don't see her more than once or twice a week for awhile. Don't
pressure her physically, and don't try to push for a relationship.
DATE OTHER WOMEN! Get out there and go out with some other women... and
when you talk to her don't hide the fact that you're doing it. Be casual
about it, but feel free to mention it in conversation once or twice.
GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
Don't get hung up, don't obsess about her, and don't make it important
to "win her back". Just move on. This combination will give you the
greatest chance of winning her back...
And the next time you meet a beautiful woman that has an interesting
personality, DON'T TURN INTO A PREDICTABLE, BORING, CLINGY, WUSSY!
You've done a great job getting this far. Now get back in there and take
this to the next level! And if you're reading this right now and
thinking to yourself "I need to learn this stuff so I can meet beautiful
women like this guy...", then we have to talk.
One of the most important insights I've gotten from learning the secrets
of how to attract women is very interesting...
I've realized that if a man doesn't know how to attract women, it spills
over into all other areas of his life. It's a very special kind of
insecurity that causes a lot of problems in other areas as well.
Let's face it.
Just about everything that men do to achieve material success in life is
somehow connected to ATTRACTING WOMEN.
But guess what?
Material success won't make the INSECURITY and the FEAR go away! The
only thing that WILL make it go away is actually LEARNING how to attract
women. I know, because I've been there. I can CLEARLY remember how
different I felt inside when I had no idea how to meet women... and I
know how different it feels now that I do.
My relationships work better, because I'm not acting AFRAID... afraid
that she's going to leave, afraid I won't be able to find someone
else... etc.
And when I'm single, I'm happy. I don't constantly worry anymore, not
knowing if I'll ever meet another woman.
I personally think that taking the time to learn how to make women feel
ATTRACTION is one of the best investments you will ever make in yourself
and your life, period.
EVERY STEP with a woman will go MUCH SMOOTHER if you set it up well
beforehand. My experience is that most guys CREATE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS
with women, then come to me to solve them.
Isn't
it a much better idea to not run into these problems in the first place?
I mean, you'll never reach a point where you never have any problems
with women, but you sure can prevent and eliminate about 80% of them by
just knowing what to do to set up each step with women, and how to
respond to certain situations.
If you'd like an introduction to my main concepts and techniques, then
you need to start with my eBook, Double Your Dating. It's the foundation
for everything that I teach in these newsletters, and it's a MUST-read.
It's here:
www.doubleyourdating.com
- just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy. This book and the
three bonuses that come with it are the FOUNDATION for success with women.
Everything you read in these articles will make more sense once you have
read the book.
...and read it, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
David D.
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