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Any Woman, Anywhere

Article Courtesy 'Any Woman Anywhere' [www.anywomananywhere.com]

If you've ever wanted to be more than just a friend to a woman in your life, you're going to find this week's article very interesting. - Based on the ebook "Any Woman, Anywhere..."

Guys need to have the ability to look at things as they are, not as they wish them to be.

*** Advice Question From A Subscriber ***

Hi,
I wanted to get your advice on a situation. I have been trying to get a particular lady to go out with me for over a year now. This lady seemed to like me and at first I thought me might go out.

However when I finally asked her out she said that she was not dating anyone at the moment because of her son. She was divorced about 2 years ago. I recently found out through a friend that she was dating someone. Dude this person only wants to be friends but she has given me signals in the past that I thought meant something else. I feel like I should move on and seek someone else because the longer I try the more my feelings get hurt. I appreciate your thoughts and insight on this.
Thanks.

Reply:
Let's analyze your situation piece by piece, shall we?

"I have been trying to get a particular lady to go out with me for over a year now." WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU THINKING? I'm almost at a loss for words.... Why in the world would you "try" to get a woman to go out with you for OVER A YEAR, instead of moving on and focusing on the 3.2 billion OTHER women on the planet?

There's a concept called "opportunity cost." It refers to the loss of opportunity one suffers when you are doing something you SHOULDN'T be doing. In your case, the "opportunity cost" was all the women you COULD HAVE been dating while you were wasting your time trying to get this ONE to go out with you. And what's really sad, borderline tragic, is how very common this is. All the time guys put "all their eggs in one basket," and then get crushed when that one woman just isn't into them. And we've all been there...myself included. So, this mistake is very NORMAL...

But that doesn't mean it's OKAY. It's a huge mistake... and you need to stop it IMMEDIATELY. Never, ever try to get a woman to date you over a long period of time. So why are you making this mistake?

I'll tell you why: Partly it's because you don't YET have the skills to have a full dating calendar. In other words, you're NEEDY. If you were consistently having a couple of dates a week, you wouldn't be "trying" to date this woman for a year.

And it wouldn't be a big deal AT ALL that she's not interested in you. Because not every woman IS going to be interested in you. That's the harsh reality, and I'm not going to sugar coat it. But when you obsess over one of these women who ISN'T into you, you waste valuable time, and you SUFFER. I heard a great definition of suffering by one of the guest speakers at one of David DeAnegelo's seminars recently. He defined suffering as "burning mental and emotional energy on something OUTSIDE of your control." And when you obsess on a chick that isn't into you, this is exactly what you do: SUFFER.

Now that I've ranted, let's get back to your question: "This lady seemed to like me and at first I thought me might go out. However when I finally asked her out she said that she was not dating anyone at the moment because of her son. She was divorced about 2 years ago. I recently found out through a friend that she was dating someone."

SHE'S JUST NOT INTO YOU, DUDE.

Most men without tons of dating experience have not yet learned something absolutely fascinating: Direct rejection ("I'm not attracted to you... you're not my type...etc") happens VERY RARELY. Instead, most women instead will tell you "I have a boyfriend." "I'm not dating anyone right now because of my son" is a polite, indirect rejection. Oh, and the fact you were slow and "finally" asked her out hurt your chances as well. When you procrastinate asking a woman out, it's a big turn off. When you're slow to ask a woman out, you start creeping her out. She'll sense that you like her, and that you WANT TO ask for her number and move things forward, but you're torn.

Actually, you're AFRAID.

Women don't respect men who let fear get the best of them. And when a woman doesn't respect you, it's next to impossible for her to be attracted to you. Here's one more thought:
Did you ever stop to think that maybe the guy she's now dating was someone who she met AFTER she met you, but asked her out BEFORE you had the balls to do it yourself?

"The early bird catches the worm..."

Back one last time to your question: "Dude, this person only wants to be friends but she has given me signals in the past that I thought meant something else. I feel like I should move on and seek someone else because the longer I try the more my feelings get hurt." One of the best things you can do for yourself as a man is develop the ability to RESPECT REALITY.

The ability to look at things as they are, not as you WISH them to be. And the reality is that now, despite the fact that she may have given you positive signals in the past, she only wants to be friends with you. That's reality today. So move on. Or, wait, I have a better idea... Don't move on. Keep thinking about her. Keep obsessing about her. Keep wishing you could have her. Right?

Wouldn't that be REALLY smart? And definitely don't take this as a lesson to:
1) stop procrastinating asking women out
2) always be dating multiple women until one of the women you're consistently dating captures you're attention so much that you want to go "exclusive."
3) not go crazy over a woman you're never even taken on a date... I hope you've enjoyed my little rant today, but more important than enjoying it, I hope it's sparked a little "reality check" inside yourself.. and maybe YOUR reality is you're STILL not having the success with women you want.

Well, keep doing the same things, and you'll keep getting the same result. But if you want powerfully BETTER results, guaranteed, I suggest you go right now and check out my Breakthrough Dating Audio CD Program. It's full of over 7 hours of my very best strategies and techniques..

I talk directly to you, sharing all my very best secrets for meeting women, sparking attraction, taking things physical, and much, much more.
Get all the details here:
www.anywomananywhere.com

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By the way: Have any buddies who want more success with women? Forward this article to them. They'll thank you later.

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