"Ask April" Author of the best selling, "Date Out Of Your League" AskApril.com
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With yoga classes taking
the place of aerobics at the gym, the image of Buddha plastered onto
sexy midriff-bearing t-shirts, and sushi the food of choice among
those in the know, it’s only a matter of time before the teachings of
the east enter our bedrooms, too.
So whether you’re as virginal as the pure-driven snow, or have had
multiple partners, it’s time to get a leg up (so to speak) with the
hottest history book around—the Kama Sutra. It has much to teach us,
even for those who prefer forks to chopsticks, and wine to sake.
When the Kama Sutra was written (sometime in between the first and
sixth century), the Orient considered sex an art form; something to be
studied and, lucky for them…practiced. In fact, the act of sex was
even an important part of spirituality and religion, with various
sexual positions adorning the walls of both homes and temples. (Kind
of puts a whole new spin on going to church!)
The Kama Sutra’s lessons, though, offer much more than sexual
gratification—although that is definitely an important part, as
evidenced by the very word, “Kama”, which means “pleasure or sensual
gratification”.
Beyond satisfying our lust and longings, the Kama Sutra is really
about mastering these desires. Those who are “true practitioners”
develop a heightened awareness of, and control over, all of her or his
senses—a benefit that’s said to impact your entire life, not just what
goes on between the sheets.
Really, the key to the Kama Sutra is to not become a slave to your
passions (though your partner will), but rather, tap into the full
power that lies within them.
Here, according to the book, is how:
The Long Embrace—The Kama Sutra says that both men and women need much
more then the mere act of sex to be sexually satisfied (though I could
swear I’ve known some men in my time who would disagree), and this is
where the embrace comes in. Physical and intimate, embracing—hugging,
touching, petting—can be a rewarding act unto itself, as well as the
perfect prelude to more…advanced relations.
An eye for an eye—When we are kissed, it is most likely that we return
that kiss, almost by instinct. However, it is worth paying attention,
in more detail, to the ways in which your partner is physical with
you, as it is likely an indication of his or her own desires, and vice
versa. Think about it this way—would you inflict something physical
upon your partner that you yourself do not desire? Probably not.
Scratch Away—Though today it is often relegated to our more explicit
images of sex—usually connoting a sense of raw, wild
abandon—practitioners of the Kama Sutra believed scratching to be a
totally normal part of any sexual encounter. And we’re not only
talking about light scratching here. Virtually nothing is off
limits—even leaving marks on your partner’s body. In fact, the book
actually suggests this, as both a reminder of time spent together, and
as way to "mark your territory." It says, "If there are no nail marks
to recall the lover's presence, it means that passion has long since
disappeared and love has been overcome." How hot is that?
If these teachings left you wanting more, check out the Kama Sutra for
yourself. I guarantee you’ll reap the rewards with some of the best
sex imaginable. That is, after all, what it’s all about.
Ready for even more
bold, brutally honest, and always helpful dating advice? Visit my Web
site, www.Ask
April.com There, you'll find informative articles, expert
columnists, interactive quizzes, and free giveaways! And don't forget
to also check out my workshops, designed to help you find you real
"soul mate"!
© 2003, 2004 April
Masini
Making it happen for
you
If you’re ready to get serious about finding a relationship
that will really work for you—but aren’t quite ready to sign up for
an arranged marriage—then my workshops on dating, love, and all
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