"Ask April" Author of the best selling, "Date Out Of Your League" AskApril.com
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Botticelli Beauties ... You don’t have to be waif-thin to
be super-sexy!
Let’s face it ladies,
being anything over a size four isn’t easy. Whether you’re flipping
through the TV channels or through the pages of a favorite magazine,
you’re likely to be inundated with pictures of skinny, tiny, even
emaciated-looking girls who are supposed to represent the ultimate in
sexiness…even as our society becomes increasingly large. So it’s no
wonder that it can be hard to feel good about yourself—to feel
sexy—when so much of what you’re confronted with says you aren’t. But
take heart: Much of what we’re told is “sexy” is anything but.
What sexy is not
Just like I believe women spend too much time and money shopping for
clothes and accessories that ultimately only impress other women and
not the men in their lives (ask yourself whether your man cares about
seeing you in that new Prada bag you just blew the budget on or a cute
piece of lingerie and you’ll know what I mean), so too are we consumed
with images of what other women find sexy.
Women find the super tall, super skinny models in fashion magazines
sexy. Women want to look like the equivalent of a human hanger so that
clothes fit them “just so”. Women want to be straight as a board so
they can squeeze into the perfect pair of jeans. But unless you’re
playing for the “home team”, why should you care what women find sexy?
Or more importantly: When are you going to start caring more about
what men find sexy?
What sexy is
Regardless of your shape or size, it is your job as a woman to be
concerned with what your man finds sexy—and to try your best to arouse
and satisfy those desires. You can roll your eyes all you want, but
that is part—a big part—of being in and maintaining your relationship.
Fortunately for many of us, most men do not find the tall, gangly,
long-limbed, straight-hipped, flat-chested catwalkers of the world
sexy. Just look at any men’s magazine, and you’ll see what they do
desire: boobs, back, and a little meat to hold on to. Think less Linda
Evangelista and more J Lo and you’ll get the idea.
Being sexy
But sexiness isn’t just a look, it’s a state of mind, too. In other
words, if you don’t think you’re sexy, it’s not likely that anyone
else will. So to get yourself feeling your sexiest, I’ve provided my
top five tips to jumpstart your sexometer—all of which are designed to
help you both feel and look better.
1. Accentuate the positive—If you haven’t figured out by now what your
most beautiful, seductive parts are, it’s time you did, and started
showing them off, too. Whether it’s a bountiful chest, creamy skin, or
a great rear, make sure your style highlights it…whatever the “it” may
be.
2. Exercise—Not only does exercise provide you with the benefits of
burning fat and adding muscle, but more importantly, it’s a genuine
mood and libido elevator. Just get moving, and you’ll feel better
about yourself and your body.
3. Wear form-fitting clothes—Though the desire to hide in comfy sweats
is an understandable one (especially when we’re feeling “larger than
life”), it’s an urge that must be fought. The truth is that you’re not
hiding anything…except how hot you can be.
4. Flirt—Even if you’ve already got a man at home, a little harmless
flirting never hurt anyone, but it can give you an ego boost like you
wouldn’t believe. So put on your cutest number, head out for a night
with the girls (or even to the supermarket if that’s all you can do),
and bat a few eyelashes at the cutest guy in the place.
5. Mimic—Sometimes you just have to “fake it until you make it”. So if
you’re still not feeling sexy, flip open a popular men’s magazine, and
do your best to mimic the hair, makeup, and outfit of its featured
centerfold. I bet that you’ll be surprised by how close you can
get…and you’ll realize that part of actually being sexy is just
creating the illusion of sexiness!
A word to the wise
Now that we’ve explored the difference between what women and men
think are sexy, and looked at five quick ways to get back in the game,
we’ve got to address one more point. A point that, for some of you,
may be more difficult to hear, but I hope you’ll listen nonetheless.
Ladies, many men may prefer you have a little meat on your bones, and
some “junk in the trunk”, but if you’ve got more than a little meat
and you can’t even close the door to your trunk there’s so much junk
in it, that’s another story.
We have to be realistic about men. For better or worse, they are
visual creatures. To ask anything else of them is futile, and a waste
of your time. That’s not to say they won’t love and care about you if
you’re overweight, but they may have difficulty remembering, or being
able to see, that you’re sexy. So for the sake of them, your
relationship, and ultimately yourself, taking care of any weight
issues that are excessive is a must…and one more way to step on the
path to becoming your most sexy self!
Ready for even more
bold, brutally honest, and always helpful dating advice? Visit my Web
site, www.Ask
April.com There, you'll find informative articles, expert
columnists, interactive quizzes, and free giveaways! And don't forget
to also check out my workshops, designed to help you find you real
"soul mate"!
© 2003, 2004 April
Masini
Making it happen for
you
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that will really work for you—but aren’t quite ready to sign up for
an arranged marriage—then my workshops on dating, love, and all
around success might be just what the doctor ordered. Please visit
www.AskApril.com,
and click on “Workshops” for more information. You’ll also find a
ton of other articles, fun, interactive quizzes, and FREE giveaways!
See you there…
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