April's Secrets For Getting
A Date
"Ask April" Author of the best selling, "Date Out Of Your League" AskApril.com
Read chapters from April Masini's books here
Q:
Dear April,
I need advice. The guy I have been dating has asked me to go with
him to three different Christmas parties with him and as we get
closer to the date, the more nervous I’m getting about it. Is this
normal?
Signed,
Christmas Party Jitters
A:
Dear Christmas Party Jitters:
Going out as a couple, in public, is always a significant
relationship landmark. The reason that it can be nerve wracking is
that you are going to be judged on him -- or vice verse. All of a
sudden, his foibles that were cute and amusing when the two of you
are out together, are driving you crazy in public because people are
going to think you're a plebe if he eats with his hands, or that
you're a loser if he trips and spills a drink.
Relax. Here are some tips to make your date at a party relaxing, and
enjoyable.
Psyche yourself up:
You have your own identity separate from his. It may not feel like
it because you're so tuned in to what other people think of him and
him and you together. But you do. So relax. You are you no matter
what.
If he turns out to be a total dud, you can dump him. No one will
think worse of you for it -- and if they do, dump them, too! Life is
a journey, and whom you date is just a part of a chapter in what
will be a long book, if you're lucky.
Change the focus of the evening away from, "What will everyone think
of him and us?" to "How can I have a great time tonight?
Couple Dynamics:
Dress code. Let him know in advance what the dress code for the
party is. If you don't know, and you're not going to find out, then
tell him what you're wearing, and suggest what he should wear. If he
comes to pick you up and he's a total dork-saster, tell him he is
sweet for thinking it's a hoe-down, but this is actually the Dom
Perignon crowd, so let's stop back at his house and change. Keep the
tone light, but say what you want, and let go of the fact that he
dressed wrong. Keep in mind that he's willing to go home and change
his clothes. Now, that's progress!
If he has bad manners, gently correct his manners before the party.
Tell him that it's important to you that he have good manners, and
that a man as handsome as he is looks even more stellar holding his
utensils properly. Give him some positive reinforcement. Also, ask
him if there may be anything he'd like you to do differently because
you understand he may have some peeves also. Then be open to
whatever he suggests.
If he dances like a Star Search reject, laugh it off. Not everyone
is good at everything -- but don't give up! As a treat, enroll the
two of you in a series of dance classes, and see if it helps at all.
My final tips to take away… Buy him a copy of Date Out Of Your
League. No, silly, not to meet new women, rather to pick up some
very valuable lessons, tips and advice on manners, etiquette,
hygiene and personal style … believe me, he’ll not only thank
you—you, will thank you!
Equally, Think & Date Like A Man will give you some invaluable tips,
advice and suggestions on everything from hair and make-up, to diet
and wardrobe –and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Happy Holidays
Sincerely,
April
Ready for even more
bold, brutally honest, and always helpful dating advice? Visit my Web
site, www.Ask
April.com There, you'll find informative articles, expert
columnists, interactive quizzes, and free giveaways! And don't forget
to also check out my workshops, designed to help you find you real
"soul mate"!
© 2005 April
Masini
Making it happen for
you
If you’re ready to get serious about finding a relationship
that will really work for you—but aren’t quite ready to sign up for
an arranged marriage—then my workshops on dating, love, and all
around success might be just what the doctor ordered. Please visit
www.AskApril.com,
and click on “Workshops” for more information. You’ll also find a
ton of other articles, fun, interactive quizzes, and FREE giveaways!
See you there…
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