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Do I Show A Guy I Like That I Like
Him?
I'm Scared Of Being Dumped
Q:
Dear April,
I like a guy named Nate. I've had boyfriends before him but I have
been freaking out about him. I'm afraid he will dump me -- or
something. Currently I'm on spring break so I can’t see him at
school. Please help me!
Signed,
Scared of Rejection
A:
Dear Scared of Rejection,
There are two ways to live your life. The first way is to honor your
fears and do what they tell you to do. Like with this guy. Your fear
is telling you that this guy may reject you, so you don’t want to be
with him. You’re scared, so you want to run away. The other way to
live is to honor your courage. And you have the courage to allow
your heart to love! You are feeling romantic feelings towards a guy
at your school, and the only obstacle you seem to have is your fear!
So let’s conquer it, now!
Fear of Rejection
Look at your fear of being dumped. You’re in your teens, and you’ve
already had boyfriends, so you know you’re an attractive young woman
that men want to be with. Now, the trick is to be with the one you
want! And the one you want is going to be one who wants you back!
Imagine wanting someone who doesn’t want you. You can’t, right? A
healthy relationship involves mutual attraction. That means he’s
going to want to be with you and you’re going to want to be with
him. So if he doesn’t want to be with you, it’s really best to find
out now, so you don’t have to waste your time with someone who isn’t
Mr. Right. If you look at rejection as a gift and a time saver, then
it won’t seem so scary. In fact, turn the tables for a moment. I’m
sure that you’ve had a guy who you weren’t crazy about, have a mad
crush on you. Didn’t you feel badly that he was so smitten with you?
It’s easier to lead him on by not being honest, but it’s better to
let him know, kindly, that you’re not really interested, but you’re
positive other women will be. Then, when you see him happily
strolling with a woman who wants to be with him, won’t you feel
great? There’s someone for everyone – but only if they go through
this dating process.
You Won’t Meet Anyone Staying At Home
Part of finding Mr. Right means putting yourself out there. If you
stay home and never flirt with anyone, you’ll never know if they
like you back. You have to give yourself and the guy the opportunity
to notice you and flirt with you. You have to give him the
opportunity to ask you out. Now, this does NOT mean you should chase
him, call him or ask him out. And you should DEFINITELY NOT make the
first move. But you should be somewhat available, and you should
show him that you like him by smiling at him, then looking away, by
talking to him if the opportunity arises, and by responding to his
attempts to talk to you, positively. Reward him for flirting with
you. Make him want to ask you out.
Acknowledge How Men Think and Act -- "Man-think"
Men love to chase and hunt. It’s in their nature. If you make it too
easy for him, then the relationship won’t be as great as if he feels
like he’s won a prize by getting you to go out with him. This is a
secret that you can learn about men, early. They want to feel great
in a relationship – and by that I mean, they want to feel
butterflies in their stomach when they fall in love. They want to
see fireworks when they meet Ms. Right. They want to show off their
girlfriend to their buddies and their family. They don’t want the
booby prize or the party favor that everyone who shows up gets. They
want the prize that they won against the odds. So use that
information to make yourself the prize.
In my book, Think & Date Like A Man, I advise grown women to
acknowledge the competition that’s out there for the great guys –
and to embrace it by making themselves the best they can be. That
means great grooming, a great attitude, confidence and an
interesting life. Men love this kind of woman. And if this guy you
like, Nate, is as great as you say he is, then other women are going
to be noticing him, too. So rather than hide in the corner, fearing
he’ll dump you when he hasn’t even asked you out yet, get out there
and join the party! I bet that you’ll follow my advice and get his
attention in the way you want. And you know what? If you don’t –
then you’ll get some other great guy’s attention! I promise.
Sincerely,
April

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