"Ask April" Author of the best selling, "Date Out Of Your League" AskApril.com
Read chapters from April Masini's books here
Dear April, Do I have to dress sexy to get a
great guy? Or is dressing classy OK?
Q: Dear April:
It seems to me that all the men go google-eyed over women in short
skirts and low cut tops or tight fitting pants, but I’m the classy
type. Do I have to dress sexy to get a great guy? Or is dressing
classy OK?
Sincerely,
Very Frustrated
A:
Dear Very Frustrated:
Let me start by saying that being classy and sexy are not mutually
exclusive. One can be very sexy, while also being very classy. To be
perfectly frank—that is the ideal.
In a nutshell, I equate dating to sales. In fact, it is my belief that
just about every aspect of our life is in someway impacted by our
sales ability – specifically our ability to sell ourselves. Be it a
job interview, which table we get in that hot new restaurant, or
dating/marrying the man of our dreams.
Even if they’re wrong, it is a proven fact that people believe their
first judgments of us. An impression is a simple, primal response that
is formed instinctively and takes a shockingly short amount of time to
gel. First impressions are nearly immediate, always long lasting, and
in most cases permanent.
The number one rule to sales, and therefore our choice of clothing, is
to know your audience. Who are you dressing for? What type of man are
you trying to attract? Our clothes, our hygiene, and our body language
are our sales tools – those things that will make or break our sale.
Part of body language is PRESENSE (translation: confidence).
‘Presence’ is the magical ingredient that can literally override
practically any shortcoming. Everyone – men and women alike – are
attracted to, want to be with, admire, and gravitate towards, those
who exude confidence.
A key ingredient to presence is POSTURE. Posture is everything in
social settings. You have to have great confidence to have great
posture, because being ‘a little uncomfortable’ has a psychological
effect that on a subconscious level makes us slouch.
The most frequently asked question in my seminars is, “what do I do if
I’m not confident?” My answer is simply – fake it! And especially upon
arrival ... A grand entrance is the best offense. The next time you
walk in and you can see the entire room, STOP in your tracks, stand
very straight, and count to 20. Everyone is always looking at the door
because they’re looking for the bigger, better deal. You want to start
from a position of power – presence equals power.
Now lets get back to your specific question, “Men seem to go google
eyed over tight fit low cut, etc, and I am into more of a classy look,
is that ok?”
First, I’m going to have to assume you know your target audience – the
type of man you want to attract. Different types of men are attracted
to different types of women and vise versa. Second, since I’ve never
met you, I’m going to approach your question this way. Pretend for a
moment that you are a casting director for Universal Studios and big
budget feature films. OK? And you are currently casting for the woman
who will play “the role” of “the girlfriend” or “the wife” of “your
target man” – the type of man you want to date.
Third, take a Polaroid of yourself (front and back) and then study the
photo. From a Universal Studios, casting director’s point of view,
would you cast you in that role? And if not, why not? What do you need
to change to win that role?
I will begin offering seminars and workshops to women in the next
couple of months, so check back with me at www.DateOutOfYourLeague.com
from time to time if that is something you are interested in.
All the best,
April
Ready for even more
bold, brutally honest, and always helpful dating advice? Visit my Web
site, www.Ask
April.com There, you'll find informative articles, expert
columnists, interactive quizzes, and free giveaways! And don't forget
to also check out my workshops, designed to help you find you real
"soul mate"!
© 2003, 2004 April
Masini
Making it happen for
you
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that will really work for you—but aren’t quite ready to sign up for
an arranged marriage—then my workshops on dating, love, and all
around success might be just what the doctor ordered. Please visit
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and click on “Workshops” for more information. You’ll also find a
ton of other articles, fun, interactive quizzes, and FREE giveaways!
See you there…
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