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Gift Etiquette For First Dates
Advice on First Date Gifts
Q:
Dear April,
When going on a date with a woman for the first time, I know that a
man should buy her a gift--a gift that will make her remember the
date. My question is what is a good gift to buy a woman on a first
date?
Sincerely, Gifted
A:
Dear Gifted,
Not every man knows what you do – showing a woman, and the time
you’re spending with her – respect and special attention will get
your first date off to a great start. Showing up at her door with a
gift to thank her for her time and interest in you – right off the
bat and before you’ve even spent any time together – will win you
points with her. It will show your respect and enthusiasm for her.
You have to assume she’s dated before, and that she will be
comparing you – whether she wants to or not – with other men she’s
gone out with. And if she hasn’t gone out with many or any men
before, she’s going to be comparing you to the men in her life like
her father. She isn’t necessarily doing the comparing in a mean way
– it’s just human nature – especially in dating. Men do it, too.
Dating is all about making choices, and the more you show her, with
your actions, your appearance and your words, why she should choose
you, the more likely she will be to do just that. You will want to
set yourself apart because dating is a numbers game, and the more
you increase your chances of standing out from all the others – and
being the one who stands out for all the right reasons – the better
your chances in dating.
Set Yourself Apart From the Competition
Showing up on a first date with a little gift will also set you
apart from other men who don’t know this piece of etiquette.
However, for those men who do, you’ll want to give your date a
reason to remember you and the date that’s different from all the
other men out there. It’s lovely to bring a single rose or a bouquet
of flowers to your date, and if you don’t know anything about her at
all, you can’t go wrong with flowers. However, there are ways you
can go more right.
Gifts For Dates You've Never Met
One way to choose a gift for her is to base it on the conversations
and e-mail chats you’ve had before you’ve gotten to her front door.
This is great for dates you’ve met through internet dating sites and
services or for dates with whom you’ve been fixed up, but have never
met. If you’ve discussed certain books or movies you can bring her a
book or a DVD of the movie that you’ve discussed, recommended or
both agreed is the best ever. If you both love a particular city,
bring her a Fodor’s guide to that city, and promise that if this
date and future dates go well, you’ll take her to that city one day
for a date. If you both love sports or a particular team, a piece of
sports paraphernalia is great. Same with food. If she’s a
chocoholic, bring her some very special Belgian chocolate or
whatever food it is that she loves and craves. You get the idea
here, right?
Gifts For Dates You've Met
Another way to choose a gift for her is to look back at where you
first met – whether it was the local coffee shop or Laundromat, a
department store or a party, and choose a gift for her based on that
first meeting. For instance, bring her a pound of coffee from the
coffee shop where you first met. Or a box of laundry detergent as
the joke part of the Laundromat meeting, and a beautiful pair of
cashmere socks to replace the pair she lost in the dryer that day.
They don’t have to be cashmere if money is an issue – they can be
lovely cotton socks or wool socks – the idea is to be clever,
gracious and thoughtful. If you met at a department store, get her a
pair of undies with the store’s logo splayed across the back – or
something with the store logo.
And if you’re both teens and she still lives at home, one way to win
her heart – and her family’s approval – is to bring her mother a
gift. Some flowers will work wonders here. A cute note with
something like: Dear Mrs. So and So: Thank you for making this first
date possible. Sincerely, So and So. She’ll love it.
Sincerely,
April
Ready for even more
bold, brutally honest, and always helpful dating advice? Visit my Web
site,
www.Ask
April.com There, you'll find informative articles, expert
columnists, interactive quizzes, and free giveaways! And don't forget
to also check out my workshops, designed to help you find you real
"soul mate"!
First Date Gift Resources:
Local Flowers Fast
: Whether the flowers are delivered to you to take with you to your
date, or you decide to surprise your date with the flowers delivered
directly to the restaurant as a fancy surprise when you arrive, you
can never go wrong with flowers!
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