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Gift Etiquette For First Dates

"Ask April" Author of the best selling "Date Out Of Your League" at AskApril.com

Make a great first date impression

Dear April,
When going on a date with a woman for the first time, I know that a man should buy her a gift--a gift that will make her remember the date. My question is what is a good gift to buy a woman on a first date?
Sincerely, Gifted

Answer

Dear Gifted,
Not every man knows what you do – showing a woman, and the time you’re spending with her – respect and special attention will get your first date off to a great start.

Showing up at her door with a gift to thank her for her time and interest in you – right off the bat and before you’ve even spent any time together – will win you points with her. It will show your respect and enthusiasm for her. You have to assume she’s dated before, and that she will be comparing you – whether she wants to or not – with other men she’s gone out with. And if she hasn’t gone out with many or any men before, she’s going to be comparing you to the men in her life like her father. She isn’t necessarily doing the comparing in a mean way – it’s just human nature – especially in dating. Men do it, too.

Dating is all about making choices, and the more you show her, with your actions, your appearance and your words, why she should choose you, the more likely she will be to do just that. You will want to set yourself apart because dating is a numbers game, and the more you increase your chances of standing out from all the others – and being the one who stands out for all the right reasons – the better your chances in dating.

Set Yourself Apart From the Competition

Showing up on a first date with a little gift will also set you apart from other men who don’t know this piece of etiquette. However, for those men who do, you’ll want to give your date a reason to remember you and the date that’s different from all the other men out there. It’s lovely to bring a single rose or a bouquet of flowers to your date, and if you don’t know anything about her at all, you can’t go wrong with flowers. However, there are ways you can go more right.

Gifts For Dates You've Never Met

One way to choose a gift for her is to base it on the conversations and e-mail chats you’ve had before you’ve gotten to her front door. This is great for dates you’ve met through internet dating sites and services or for dates with whom you’ve been fixed up, but have never met.

If you’ve discussed certain books or movies you can bring her a book or a DVD of the movie that you’ve discussed, recommended or both agreed is the best ever.

If you both love a particular city, bring her a Fodor’s guide to that city, and promise that if this date and future dates go well, you’ll take her to that city one day for a date.

If you both love sports or a particular team, a piece of sports paraphernalia is great. Same with food. If she’s a chocoholic, bring her some very special Belgian chocolate or whatever food it is that she loves and craves. You get the idea here, right?

Gifts For Dates You've Met

Another way to choose a gift for her is to look back at where you first met – whether it was the local coffee shop or Laundromat, a department store or a party, and choose a gift for her based on that first meeting.

For instance, bring her a pound of coffee from the coffee shop where you first met. Or a box of laundry detergent as the joke part of the Laundromat meeting, and a beautiful pair of cashmere socks to replace the pair she lost in the dryer that day. They don’t have to be cashmere if money is an issue – they can be lovely cotton socks or wool socks – the idea is to be clever, gracious and thoughtful.

If you met at a department store, get her a pair of undies with the store’s logo splayed across the back – or something with the store logo.

And if you’re both teens and she still lives at home, one way to win her heart – and her family’s approval – is to bring her mother a gift. Some flowers will work wonders here.

A cute note with something like: Dear Mrs. So and So: Thank you for making this first date possible. Sincerely, So and So. She’ll love it.

Sincerely, April

Ready for even more bold, brutally honest, and always helpful dating advice? Visit Web site, www.AskApril.com There, you'll find informative articles, expert columnists, interactive quizzes, and free giveaways! And don't forget to also check out my workshops, designed to help you find you real "soul mate"!

© April Masini. Making it happen for you!
If you’re ready to get serious about finding a relationship that will really work for you—but aren’t quite ready to sign up for an arranged marriage—then my workshops on dating, love, and all around success might be just what the doctor ordered. Please visit www.AskApril.com.

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