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Hello University! Goodbye High School Boyfriend!

"Ask April" Author of the best selling "Date Out Of Your League" at

How To Move On When Switching Schools

Dear April,
My question is how do I move on? I was with the most amazing guy for four years, but I’m only 19 now. We got together very young, but we had the most amazing relationship and were just so happy together all the time!

However, before I came to university he broke up with me pretty much because I was coming to university. We spent three months apart, but the whole time I was single I didn’t enjoy it because I couldn’t stop thinking about him! Then he finally come back and I was so happy because I loved him but it made me think that maybe I’ve gotten to the age where I need to see what else is out there so I can know if he truly is the one!

So we got back together for two months but then I finished with him because I saw being at university as my opportunity to see if he really is the one I want to be with or if he is just my first love! Now that’s explained, my problem is that I can’t move on!

Even though I’ve done the right thing and I know I have, he’s out there having fun and meeting other girls which is what I wanted him to do but I still cant stop thinking about him all the time and it drives me mad because I just want to forget about him long enough to enjoy myself! Please help!
Help Me Move On


Dear Help Me Move On,
You’ve done a really good job at identifying your problem and handling things up to now. In fact, considering your age, you’ve done everything right. While 15 or 16 years old is young to be in a long-term relationship (as opposed to doing light dating), it’s within the range of normal.

However, going to university is a big life change, and you’re both right to reconsider this time as being a time to be in a committed relationship. The problem is that you didn’t decide it at the same time! He decided it first – probably as a pre-emptive strike so he wouldn’t find himself rejected by you if you did meet someone at university. Then you did it after a brief reunion. And now, you’re lonely and you’re missing him. It all makes sense.

So here’s what you need to do to get over him – because getting over him is the right thing to do right now:

1. Throw yourself into your new university life. You’re a student. Enjoy it. It’s probably the last time you’ll be one. Do all the things that students do – including focusing on your studies.

2. Don’t leave yourself any “daydreaming about him” time. If you have time for a part time job, get one. If you don’t want a job, take up some volunteer work. There are lots of people with problems far worse than yours. Help them.

3. Exercise. Besides giving you a positive endorphin rush, you’ll be putting yourself into social circumstances, and you’ll be taking care of your body – good for your health and self esteem and good for being noticed.
4. Go to university related parties and sponsored social events. There are more parties and events than you will have time for. Show up. Have a good time.

5. Make an effort to meet new people. This is one of the last times you’ll be in such a huge dating pool of single, available age appropriate adults.

If you’re focusing on your self, and your own life without him, you’ll eventually stop wondering what he’s doing. Stay strong and stay focused on your goal – to grow up, get educated at university and see what the world has in store for you. Tomorrow is going to be great!

Sincerely, April

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© April Masini. Making it happen for you!
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