"Ask April" Author of the best selling, "Date Out Of Your League" AskApril.com
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AskApril.com
Who Says Image Isn't Everything
Q:
Dear April,
My sister is always bugging me about my clothes, and about the
impression they give. Do women really care that much about the way
men dress?
Signed,
Is Image Everything
A:
Dear Is Image Everything,
You’ve likely heard the expression, "You can’t judge a book by its
cover." But if you believe it’s true - I would strongly suggest you
not to go into publishing! That, and that you immediately pick up my
new book, Think & Date Like A man (if you're a woman) and Date Out
Of Your League, if you're a man.
Book and magazine publishers have long since proven that although a
cover may not tell you what’s on the inside, it is the reason that
we’re initially drawn to a book, and it is the reason we choose to
take one magazine off the shelf as opposed to another. Here’s the
thing—until a book is picked up, guess what? No sale. And no sale
means that the great story inside never gets told.
How does this relate to you? Simple. You, like a book, may be
fabulous on the inside, but if you haven’t interested people enough
with ‘your cover’ to pick you up and see what you’re all about -
there is no way they are ever going to find out!
Clearly, my objective is not to defend the value of the book cover,
rather to illustrate a point. That being that your image—from the
clothes and accessories you wear, to the car you drive, to your
hairstyle and hygiene—is your book cover. It may not fully or
accurately represent the whole story that lies inside your
proverbial pages, but it will determine your ability to make a sale,
in both the literal and figurative sense.
Remember the adage, “You never get a second chance to make a first
impression,” and heed it’s warning. Those impressions are formed in
a matter of seconds. Being both immediate and long lasting (if not
permanent), they will largely determine your success or failure –
with women, with career, with life.
The Old Double Standard
Many men—though maybe not you—might be reading this and thinking
that the lesson doesn’t apply to them because, well…they’re men, and
men don’t have to be concerned with their appearances (their
“covers”) in the way that women do. TOP
If you’re one of these guys, you’d better wake up…and fast! This
type of misconception—and let there be no mistake about it, it most
definitely is a misconception—may not only be holding you back from
reaching your goals—it might downright prevent your success! But
don’t just take my word for it. Studies have shown that white-collar
job interviews involving strangers succeed, or fail, much more due
to appearance-derived judgments than underlying abilities. Is it
unfair? Yes. But is it true? You absolutely, categorically, better
believe it is!
Check Your Image for ‘Cause & Effect’
It’s been over 2,000 years since Socrates explained “The Law of
Cause and Effect", and you know what? After all this time, nothing
has changed. When you pick the action, you pick the result. You
choose your image – you choose how people will react to you and how
they will treat you. That is a proven fact! TOP
Everyone—from the sexy woman you see every morning at Starbucks who
you’ve been working up the courage to ask out, to your boss who may
(or may not) give you a promotion, to the maitre d' who determines
which table you get—will make judgments about you that modify their
behavior, and determine their treatment of you, based upon your
appearance and their perception of you.
In other words, that sexy woman might think twice about saying yes
if she’s not crazy about your dirty, scuffed up shoes or the way you
were slurping your coffee as you neglected to hold the door open for
that elderly older woman. And your boss might not consider you for
that promotion if you’re coming in every day looking disheveled and
unkempt; or if you did not allow a female client to walk ahead of
you to the table, and pull out her chair, at that important dinner
he invited you to. And the maitre d’? You know where you’ll be
sitting if you’ve missed getting your monthly hair cut – for a third
week – or show up wearing a wrinkled shirt and ‘too loose in the
seat’ pants! That’s right. The back…next to the kitchen…on the way
to the bathroom. TOP
Looking the Part
Now that you grasp the importance of your image, it’s time to
actually do something about it. Because while it may seem unjust
that people make judgments based on “covers”, or that your success
depends upon an initial impression of only a few seconds, the great
part is that your image—and the judgments others make about you
based upon it—is that most of it is totally within your control!
The real question is whether you’re going to positively—or
negatively—affect and influence that judging. The real question is
whether it will be you getting the promotion, or the well-dressed
guy with impeccable manners next to you (you know the one who’s got
half the qualifications as you but somehow comes across as more
together). The real question is when you’re going to accept the fact
that looking the part is one giant leap toward actually being the
part.
Sincerely,
April
Ready for even more
bold, brutally honest, and always helpful dating advice? Visit my Web
site,
www.Ask
April.com There, you'll find informative articles, expert
columnists, interactive quizzes, and free giveaways! And don't forget
to also check out my workshops, designed to help you find you real
"soul mate"!
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