Ask April: Introducing Your Date To Your Child

"Ask April" Author of the best selling, "Date Out Of Your League" AskApril.com
Read chapters from April Masini's books here

Q: Dear April,
I'm newly divorced and dating a great guy (at least he seems great after five dates). Things seem to be progressing so quickly -- I'm excited but also wary. He has a daughter, and he wants me and my son to go to a movie with him and his daughter, but I'm not sure if it's too soon to introduce him to my son. I'm afraid my son will think I'm trying to replace his father. Help!
Signed,
Divorced Mom Dating

A: Dear Divorced Mom Dating,
Go slow. Don't introduce anyone you haven't been dating seriously (ie: mutually exclusively) for under six months, to your son. It's okay to let your son know you're dating. But let him know that this is grown up fun. Not a family affair. And stick to that. If things do go well, and there comes an appropriate time to introduce Mr. Right to your son, keep in mind that you know you're not replacing junior's dad. No one will replace his dad. If you know that, it'll be easier for your son and your boyfriend to "get it." You are (or may be), however, adding a lovely man to the mix, if in fact, at some point you decide to "add" him, to yours and your son's life. Just because you're divorced, doesn't mean you're broken. And neither is your son. Read more on this subject in Parent Trapped.

Here's a few things to keep in mind:

1. You will never replace your child's dad. Whether you're in love or hate with your child's father, he is your child's dad. Don't denigrate him. If you denigrate the dad, you denigrate the child. Allow your child, and yourself, the notion that his father will always be his father. Read Dating After Divorce for more tips and suggestions on dating as a divorcee.
2. You may add a man to his life who is icing on the many layered cake. If you find happiness with another man, your child will be happy for you and for himself. If the child is jealous, it's because they are afraid that you will be taken away from them by this new person. It's a reasonable fear. And a good reason to go slow. Life changes, but usually for the good.
3. You don't have to feel guilty about adding a man to your life, and your child's. Your child will take the good from the different adults in his life. This new man may add some wonderful assets to all of your lives. Relax. Having an extended family doesn't mean yours was broken, and is now fixed. It's just what it is.

 

Ready for even more bold, brutally honest, and always helpful dating advice? Visit my Web site, www.Ask April.com There, you'll find informative articles, expert columnists, interactive quizzes, and free giveaways! And don't forget to also check out my workshops, designed to help you find you real "soul mate"!

 

© 2003-2007 April Masini

BRIEF BIO
April Masini is a recognized and award winning producer, author, columnist, motivational speaker, relationship and success expert—with politically incorrect twist. Sure to raise eyebrows, generate buzz … and INSPIRE RESULTS!

Standing 5 feet, 8 inches tall, with a lean 127-pound body, and 38-26-36 proportions, it's not hard to understand why April Masini's impressive list of accomplishments is not the first thing that pops into a guy's mind upon meeting her. But April is much more than a blonde bombshell.
Though she started off her career as a model and actress, April has moved on to become a persuasive public speaker and President/CEO of Masini Television & Film Enterprises, LLC in Honolulu, and Masini Enterprises, Inc. in Los Angeles.


On January 26, 2004, April's no-holds-barred advice book, "Date Out of Your League" hit the stands, causing controversy with her witty, well-endowed, naughty alter-ego, High Voltage Blonde, her brutally honest, uncensored advice, and her sometimes politically incorrect message.... But controversy quickly turned into interest, and then followings, when the most widely read newspapers, magazines, and Web sites, around the world, began seeking out April's comments, opinions, and expertise.

In fact, April became so popular that in February, 2004, "Ask April" was launched simultaneously on two of FORBES Magazine's "Best on the Web" winners, MillionaireMatch.com, who not only won with FORBES in 2003, but was also singled out by the WALL STREET JOURNAL; along with aLoveLinksPlus, who took FORBES top award in 2001 and 2002. Then "Ask April" jumped the Pacific with MyNippon.com the hugely popular Japanese site devoted to romance techniques.

When April isn’t writing, this former model/actress is leading seminars, guest lecturing, or dedicating her time to Masini Enterprises—her multifaceted television and film production company whose accomplishments have been recognized, record-breaking, and award winning, with strong connections to everything from "Baywatch" and "Blue Crush" to "LifeStyles of the Rich & Famous" and "The Miss Universe Pageant."