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Is It Love? Or Is It Inexperience?

"Ask April" Author of the best selling "Date Out Of Your League" at AskApril.com

How Do I Know If It's Right?

Dear April,
I met this guy online and after 2 weeks I told him I was falling in love. It scared him. Now, in these 2 weeks we didn’t do anything sexual except kiss. Well, he is back and I welcomed him back into my life with open arms. We went to have sex and at first I was like a sex freak all over him and then when it got too serious it is like I froze up. I love this man. What could be causing me this problem? Am I refusing to open up all way or is this normal after not being on the dating scene for a while?
Signed,
Single, Stay at Home Mom

Answer

Dear Single, Stay at Home Mom,
You’re right. You haven’t been on the dating scene long enough to remember (or learn) the rhythms of dating and of a relationship, so let me help you.

First, go buy my book, Think & Date Like A Man. It will give you a lot more help in over 100 pages, than I can give you in a letter, but if you have both – the letter and the book, you’re in good shape to get back into dating shape. The book will explain everything you need to know and show you how to get the man you want. The fact that your body is “freezing up” is a sign that you’re not ready, this isn’t Mr. Right, and you need to thaw out for a while before you start up again. Which brings me to my second point…

Second of all, slow down. I doubt you fell in love in two weeks with this man. What you probably did was feel great about getting out (being a stay at home mother can be grueling work), feel great about being in a man’s company, and feel great at being treated like a desirable woman again. You also may have a feeling that many newly divorced people have of wanting to replace the missing piece in your now single mom family – the missing piece, being the husband or the father of your child (if you weren’t married).

Third of all, be extra careful in choosing a man because you have a child. Dating as a single adult is different than dating as a single parent. Whatever heartache or ups and downs you go through will affect your child. They are sensitive and pick up your emotions. So be extra careful. Just because you feel like you’re falling in love with someone you’ve known for two weeks, does not mean that he is a suitable father for your child or a husband for you. Lust is one thing. Parenting is another. This is even more reason for you to read Think & Date Like A Man, because it will help you decide what you want in a man – in your case, it’s a husband and a step-father for your child – and get him.

Casual Dating Takes Serious Work

Now, if you’re looking for Mr. Right, you have to do the work that it takes. I wrote my book, Think & Date Like A Man, because so many women came to me because they were not able to meet the man they wanted and get him. What I advised them is, first of all, know yourself, and know what you want. Online dating is a FABULOUS dating tool, but it’s very easy to become a serial dater if you don’t use the internet, rather than let the internet use you. There is not enough time in six lifetimes to date every single eligible man who is available for you to date on the internet. So, if you’re not careful about knowing what you want in a man, being honest about it and about yourself, and using the internet to weed through the men who are not right for you – you’re going to be wasting a lot of time and energy that you don’t have.

When you figure out what you want, make sure that you’re your best self – in order to get that guy. Just as there are thousands of men to date, there are thousands of women for them to date, too. So treat yourself like a product, and get out of mommy mode. Make yourself someone he’ll feel like he has to have. Men love the chase, and if you’re someone he has to chase and win – all the better. He doesn’t want someone that’s too easy. He wants to have to conquer you. Regardless of whether or not you like it or agree with it – it’s the truth. So if you’re serious about dating, consider who you’re dating – a man – and consider the way he thinks and acts.

Sincerely, April

Ready for even more bold, brutally honest, and always helpful dating advice? Visit Web site, www.AskApril.com There, you'll find informative articles, expert columnists, interactive quizzes, and free giveaways! And don't forget to also check out my workshops, designed to help you find you real "soul mate"!

© April Masini. Making it happen for you!
If you’re ready to get serious about finding a relationship that will really work for you—but aren’t quite ready to sign up for an arranged marriage—then my workshops on dating, love, and all around success might be just what the doctor ordered. Please visit www.AskApril.com.

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