"Ask April" Author of the best selling, "Date Out Of Your League" AskApril.com
Read chapters from April Masini's books here
Is It Love? Or Inexperience?
How Do I Know If It's Right?
Q: Dear April,
I met this guy online and after 2 weeks I told him I was falling in
love. It scared him. Now, in these 2 weeks we didn’t do anything
sexual except kiss. Well, he is back and I welcomed him back into my
life with open arms. We went to have sex and at first I was like a
sex freak all over him and then when it got too serious it is like I
froze up. I love this man. What could be causing me this problem? Am
I refusing to open up all way or is this normal after not being on
the dating scene for a while?
Signed,
Single, Stay at Home Mom
A: Dear Single, Stay at Home
Mom,
You’re right. You haven’t been on the dating scene long enough to
remember (or learn) the rhythms of dating and of a relationship, so
let me help you.
First, go buy my book, Think & Date Like A Man. It will give you a
lot more help in over 100 pages, than I can give you in a letter,
but if you have both – the letter and the book, you’re in good shape
to get back into dating shape. The book will explain everything you
need to know and show you how to get the man you want. The fact that
your body is “freezing up” is a sign that you’re not ready, this
isn’t Mr. Right, and you need to thaw out for a while before you
start up again. Which brings me to my second point…
Second of all, slow down. I doubt you fell in love in two weeks with
this man. What you probably did was feel great about getting out
(being a stay at home mother can be grueling work), feel great about
being in a man’s company, and feel great at being treated like a
desirable woman again. You also may have a feeling that many newly
divorced people have of wanting to replace the missing piece in your
now single mom family – the missing piece, being the husband or the
father of your child (if you weren’t married).
Third of all, be extra careful in choosing a man because you have a
child. Dating as a single adult is different than dating as a single
parent. Whatever heartache or ups and downs you go through will
affect your child. They are sensitive and pick up your emotions. So
be extra careful. Just because you feel like you’re falling in love
with someone you’ve known for two weeks, does not mean that he is a
suitable father for your child or a husband for you. Lust is one
thing. Parenting is another. This is even more reason for you to
read Think & Date Like A Man, because it will help you decide what
you want in a man – in your case, it’s a husband and a step-father
for your child – and get him.
Casual Dating Takes Serious Work
Now, if you’re looking for Mr. Right, you have to do the work that
it takes. I wrote my book, Think & Date Like A Man, because so many
women came to me because they were not able to meet the man they
wanted and get him. What I advised them is, first of all, know
yourself, and know what you want. Online dating is a FABULOUS dating
tool, but it’s very easy to become a serial dater if you don’t use
the internet, rather than let the internet use you. There is not
enough time in six lifetimes to date every single eligible man who
is available for you to date on the internet. So, if you’re not
careful about knowing what you want in a man, being honest about it
and about yourself, and using the internet to weed through the men
who are not right for you – you’re going to be wasting a lot of time
and energy that you don’t have.
When you figure out what you want, make sure that you’re your best
self – in order to get that guy. Just as there are thousands of men
to date, there are thousands of women for them to date, too. So
treat yourself like a product, and get out of mommy mode. Make
yourself someone he’ll feel like he has to have. Men love the chase,
and if you’re someone he has to chase and win – all the better. He
doesn’t want someone that’s too easy. He wants to have to conquer
you. Regardless of whether or not you like it or agree with it –
it’s the truth. So if you’re serious about dating, consider who
you’re dating – a man – and consider the way he thinks and acts.
Sincerely,
April
Ready for even more
bold, brutally honest, and always helpful dating advice? Visit my Web
site, www.Ask
April.com There, you'll find informative articles, expert
columnists, interactive quizzes, and free giveaways! And don't forget
to also check out my workshops, designed to help you find you real
"soul mate"!
© 2006-2007 April Masini
Making it happen for
you
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that will really work for you—but aren’t quite ready to sign up for
an arranged marriage—then my workshops on dating, love, and all
around success might be just what the doctor ordered. Please visit
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ton of other articles, fun, interactive quizzes, and FREE giveaways!
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