"Ask April" Author of the best selling, "Date Out Of Your League" AskApril.com
Read chapters from April Masini's books here
The Parent Trap ... Being a single parent
doesn’t mean you can’t date!
As you likely know, there
are few roles tougher or more demanding than being a single parent,
which is why it’s understanding that you may not prioritize dating at
the top of your list, or even believe it’s appropriate.
Well, I’m here to tell you that it is worth investing the time in, and
it is most definitely appropriate…even beneficial to your kids!
Do it for yourself
I don’t need to tell you that being a parent is one of the most
rewarding things you can do. But that’s not to say it’s the only thing
you can do, or more specifically, it doesn’t mean you are only a
parent. Being an adult—with romantic, intimate, and sexual desires and
needs—is also an important part of who you are. Lose that, and you
lose a very real and very valuable part of yourself.
Do it for your kids
Not only is dating important of you, it’s actually important for your
kids, too. It is healthy for them to know you are a full and complete
person—not just their mom or dad. It’s good for them to see that you
can be happy with another person other than their other parent. And,
perhaps most importantly of all, by dating and/or finding a
relationship, you’re setting an example for them to follow…when the
time is comes for them to date (yikes!).
Tips to take away
Okay, we’ve established why it’s important for you to date, but you
still may have questions about how to date (i.e., what’s appropriate
and what’s not, how to broach the subject with your kids, etc.). To
that end, I’ve composed a list of the top 5 essential dos and don’ts
for becoming a safe, smooth, and successful single-parent dater.
1. Do not have a constant parade of new people coming in and out of
the house.
Do introduce only those people who you think will become “regular
fixtures”.
2. Do not spring the idea of dating on your kids.
Do gradually introduce the concept, emphasizing that this is something
all adults do.
3. Do not bring your kids with you on every date.
Do remember that dating is a time for you—as an adult. It’s okay to
take time away for yourself.
4. Do not allow your children’s concerns to dominate your actions.
Do listen to their concerns, but be clear that this is not something
for them to decide.
5. Do not ask your kids to keep your dating life a secret.
Do create an atmosphere of open, honest communication—and make sure to
include your ex-partner so your kids don’t feel any confusion or torn
loyalties.
Ready for even more
bold, brutally honest, and always helpful dating advice? Visit my Web
site, www.Ask
April.com There, you'll find informative articles, expert
columnists, interactive quizzes, and free giveaways! And don't forget
to also check out my workshops, designed to help you find you real
"soul mate"!
© 2003, 2004 April
Masini
Making it happen for
you
If you’re ready to get serious about finding a relationship
that will really work for you—but aren’t quite ready to sign up for
an arranged marriage—then my workshops on dating, love, and all
around success might be just what the doctor ordered. Please visit
www.AskApril.com,
and click on “Workshops” for more information. You’ll also find a
ton of other articles, fun, interactive quizzes, and FREE giveaways!
See you there…
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