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Q:
Dear April,
I just got engaged and I don’t want to have the usual honeymoon that
all my friends and family seem to be having. I want something
meaningful. Can you help me?
Honeymoon Help
A:
Dear Honeymoon Help:
Most June brides get engaged in the winter, so you’re smart to start
planning your honeymoon now. By the time spring is here, you’ll be
in full bridal-mode with all the details that make planning a
wedding time consuming, and it’s great to know the honeymoon is out
of the planning stages by then. The more you plan ahead, the more
time you have to enjoy the process and make sure that the honeymoon
and the wedding are not just beautiful events that you tick off your
to-do list, but are meaningful to you and your husband to be.
Your honeymoon doesn't have to be the same old honeymoon that
everyone else seems to be taking. It can be as unique as you both
are, and you don’t have to go with convention when planning your
honeymoon -- in fact, you shouldn’t! Do what will be relaxing,
celebratory and memorable for you both. Remember that while great
sex is a traditional hallmark of a honeymoon, the more personalized
the honeymoon, the more personalized the sex! And there is no better
sex than personalized sex -- or sex that is the exact opposite of
garden variety! So really think about what will work for you both in
terms of your honeymoon. Have a conversation so that you're both in
sync before you start booking flights. If one or both of you will be
exhausted by the time the wedding is over because of a work schedule
or family obligations, you may want to make sure you have a relaxing
honeymoon. If you're both pretty high energy, you may want to pepper
your romance time with some adventures. Here are some ideas that
will help you decide what works best for you:
1. Opt Out Of The Beach Honeymoon
Consider an option outside the usual beach vacation. Go on a tour of
ancient ruins or take a wine tasting journey through the Loire
Valley in France. Combine a unique and beautiful place with some
kind of activity. If you’re academics, consider an educational trip,
often lavishly sponsored by Universities, open to the public. If you
like architecture or cuisine, tailor your honeymoon to one of these
activities. You can still have romance and steamy sex AND indulge
your passions in other areas at the same time.
2. Opt In For Beach -- But Make It a Different Kind of Beach
If you love the ocean or the water, but don’t want to be like every
other bikini-clad couple on a tropical beach honeymoon, choose a
different kind of beach vacation. Look into the super exotic
Seychelles Islands, the magical Aran Islands in Ireland or the
charming and rustic San Juan Islands off the coast of Washington
state. If you’re marrying in the fall or winter, choose to have a
cozy ocean honeymoon off-season. There is nothing more romantic than
walking the cold beach, bundled up, and coming home to a roaring
fire and champagne or hot toddies.
3. Move To Make A Movie
Make a movie -- I'm not talking a Paris Hilton sex tape -- I'm
talking about getting a couple of digital cameras -- and shoot lots
of pictures. If you’re shy, shoot the scenery. If you’re an
exhibitionist, shoot each other. When you get home, you can make a
great show on your own computer, or hire someone to put it together
for you -- like your wedding photographer. Everyone always has
elaborate wedding photos. Make your honeymoon photos just as
special. And if you know that this is what you want to do ahead of
time, tell your maid of honor that you want a great digital movie
camera for your shower gift and she can arrange for a group gift,
instead of lots of smaller gifts. See how important planning ahead
is?
4. Collect
If one or both of you has a collection, then you're already in
collector's mode, but if you don't -- or even if you do -- start a
collection or enhance the one you have! What better time to start
than on a honeymoon. Some suggestions are: funny postcards,
beautiful shells, kitschy snow globes, art of the region you're
visiting, pottery, antiques, vintage fashion, etc. That you started
your collection together on your honeymoon will make a great,
sentimental theme for your 20th anniversary party when you display
your entire collection, or make it the theme of the gala. Take a New
England tag sale and antique shop tour or go as far away as the
famous Paris flea markets and incredibly wonderful shopping for old
things – furniture, pottery, dishes or jewelry -- in Europe.
5. To Your Health!
Instead of the usual sex and sand honeymoon, take a week at an
exclusive spa for two. America has some incredible spa destination
resorts that would love to offer you a honeymoon package, as well as
hot spring locations and mud bath treatments in addition to lots of
more intriguing, new treatments and if that's not exotic enough,
head for a European spa at Evian, France or Baden-Baden. It’s not
often that you spend the time to really take care of yourself –
body, mind and soul. And if you use your honeymoon to do that,
you’ll have a terrific sense of well being, for sure great sex, and
best of all, every year on your anniversary, you can take a weekend
at a different spa to celebrate!
6. Be a Sport
If one or both of you love sports, take a fantasy sports vacation
and do everything you always wanted to do with "your team," like
attend their summer practices, all their games, get exclusive seats
that you'd usually not spring for, etc. Or center your honeymoon
around a weeklong tennis and yoga clinic. If you are cyclists, sign
up for a beautiful cycling vacation or if you’re going to have a
winter wedding – a ski and skate vacation somewhere icy and cold can
be ultra romantic. And again, if you plan well enough in advance,
your maid of honor can tailor your wedding shower to this theme, and
you can be showered with sport-mode gifts that you can take on your
honeymoon and use at home, too.
Sincerely,
April
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