April's Secrets For Getting
A Date
"Ask April" Author of the best selling, "Date Out Of Your League" AskApril.com
Read chapters from April Masini's books here
Q:
Dear April,
I'm a wreck. It's December already and I don't have a date for New
Year's Eve!
A:
What is it about New Year's Eve that can give even the Dalai Lama a
case of anxiety? Well, I'll tell you. Symbolically, this is the
start of a new year, and it stands for new chances and new
opportunities. Starting the year off with a great New Year's Eve --
whatever that may be for you -- can give you the momentum you need
to actually begin to have a great new year, or it can trip you up so
you land flat on your face with a case of the "Why me?" syndrome.
But it doesn't have to be that way! In fact, you can have a great
New Year's Eve and a great new year and do things differently than
you have been in insure more happiness in your life. Sound too good
to be true? C'mon -- you know me. Nothing is too good to be true.
If I offered you a crash course on dating that would reveal the
secrets for your success in a simple strategy that goes beyond
winning in love, to include winning in the business, and in life,
would you try it? Moreover, if I challenged you to examine your
concepts of dating and your perception of failure and rejection,
would you accept the challenge?
Let’s find out:
Lesson 1: First impressions: They are immediate, long lasting, and
usually permanent. Regardless of how great you are, and no matter
how sweet you can be once someone gets to know you, the reality is,
your dating success will be based almost entirely upon the other
person's initial sense of who and what you are. Do you have a second
chance to make a positive first impression? The experts say, no.
Lesson 2: If you want the part, look the part: Statistics show that
how we appear speaks more about us, and is more important, than what
we say verbally. Moreover, though it may not get you all the way to
your objective, it will get your foot in the door. Remember the old
adage, "Dress for who you want to be, not who you are." It is as
true in business as it is in love.
Lesson 3: Act the part: It is a fact that in our personal affairs,
as in all our business dealings, we sell ourselves first. Poor
attitude, image, and behavior will adversely affect your dating
success, just as it will negatively affect your success in business.
Lesson 4: Be the part. The initial impression you make on a
prospective date predicts whether she (or he) will take the time to
get to know you. Dating, as well as business, is all about sales.
You must think of yourself as a product and the person you want to
date as the buyer.
Lesson 5: Dating is about sales and sales is a numbers game: If you
want to multiply your success immediately in dating (or just about
anything else), learn, understand, and embrace the concept behind
"the numbers game." It supports the fundamental dynamics of dating.
You will save a lot of time and heartache if you are willing to
accept, grasp, and follow its tenets. They are:
• You are a product. You are the product's salesperson, its
packager, and its advertiser.
• The person you’re trying to attract is your customer. They make
their buying decisions based upon presentation, packaging, and
advertising.
• The world's best salespeople don't have a 100 percent sales rate,
a 75 percent rate, a 50 percent or even a 25 percent rate. The
world's best salespeople are lucky to maintain a 10 percent sales
rate. Thus, the best of the best put their best product forward and
count themselves lucky if one out of every ten they are interested
in, is also interested in them. See where I’m going?
Lesson 6: Confidence = success. The number one quality both men and
women seek in a date or a mate is confidence. Confidence is also the
key attribute that all professional salesmen must possess in order
to be successful. People do not buy products or services from
someone who has no confidence in themselves or the products they
represent.
Lesson 7: Establish a goal: A confident person is one with a plan
and a goal. What's yours? Let’s assume that it is getting a great
date for New Year's Eve. Now ask yourself, what will it take to get
that date? What steps do you need to take? Create your to-do list.
Then accomplish each item on your list, one-by-one until you reach
your goal.
Lesson 8: Know your target market and give them what they want:
Understand to whom you are trying to sell yourself and what they are
interested in buying.
Lesson 9: Analyze the competition and do things better than they do:
Just as you would study a competitor in business or a rival sports
team, study your dating competition if you want to win!
Lesson 10: Take action and follow through:
1. Deal with your fear of rejection:
(a) Stop investing your energy and self-worth in outcomes. Instead
of thinking of 'misses' as 'failures,' think of them as 'practice
shots'. Dating is a process.
(b) Stop placing so much importance on what the person you are
interested in thinks of you. After all, you don't know if you would
even like them once you get to know them, do you?
2. Set small goals and accomplish them, one by one.
3. Get passionate about your life. Take a class, travel at home or
abroad, become a Big Brother/Big Sister, get involved with politics,
learn to Salsa, get out of a job you hate and into one you love.
Enthusiasm is contagious, if you are excited about your life, people
will be excited about being with you.
4. Dress for success. Always put your best foot forward.
5. Perfect your sales pitch. If you keep doing the same thing, you
will keep getting the same result.
Lesson 10: Enjoy today! Live as if there may be no tomorrow; realize
there are no guarantees, no dress rehearsals, and (usually) no
second chances. Make each day "your special day," one in which you
did all that you could do. You will never look back with regret.
Happy New Year!
Sincerely,
April
Ready for even more
bold, brutally honest, and always helpful dating advice? Visit my Web
site, www.Ask
April.com There, you'll find informative articles, expert
columnists, interactive quizzes, and free giveaways! And don't forget
to also check out my workshops, designed to help you find you real
"soul mate"!
© 2003, 2004 April
Masini
Making it happen for
you
If you’re ready to get serious about finding a relationship
that will really work for you—but aren’t quite ready to sign up for
an arranged marriage—then my workshops on dating, love, and all
around success might be just what the doctor ordered. Please visit
www.AskApril.com,
and click on “Workshops” for more information. You’ll also find a
ton of other articles, fun, interactive quizzes, and FREE giveaways!
See you there…
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