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Ask Rob! The
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Hi Rob,
A new girl started working at my office about 7 months ago,
Shauna. She was very pretty and always seemed upbeat, so I
wanted to get to know her a little better. I switched my lunch
hour a couple of times to try to chat with her and see what she
was like, and since it was a group environment it was casual and
so there wasn't any pressure.
Anyway, she seemed really nice so I sent her an email and asked
her if she'd like to go out for drinks sometime. She responded
by saying she's a bit weary of dating someone from the office,
but I said to her since we're on different teams and different
floors, we rarely see each other anyway so it's not that big a
deal. Shauna worked at a another job part time, so she told me
she would check her schedule for next week and get back to me.
She did get back to me, and said looks like she'll be busy "for
the next few weeks". I took that as "not interested" (I tend to
write things off pretty quickly) so I didn't pursue her anymore.
It's been about 6 months since that time. We run into each other
a few times, she stops to say hi and we talk casually. I've
noticed her staring at me for a few moments before turning away
when if go for a coffee break at the same time. I'm not sure if
I'm an idiot for thinking this but do you think there is any
chance of me asking her out again and her saying yes? She was
new at the office at the time and maybe it was too
straightforward of me to ask her on a date when I didn't know
her that well. Maybe she's warmed up to the idea? I'd appreciate
your advice.
Thanks for any help,
B
Hi B,
I think that now she has settled into the job and is more
familiar with the office surroundings you have a better chance
to ask her out.
She's probably asked around and got some info on you too, so
you're chances are better for a flat answer, yes or no.
Start with a coffee after work, avoid alcohol on the first date
or outing. That's an important rule!
Keep things casual and no-pressure, you'll do fine.
Best wishes,
Rob
Nothing sets off alarms bells like workplace romances.
The rumor mill goes full tilt, everyone knows, or wants to know,
something. And keeping the relationship under wraps is next to
impossible. Here are the basic rules for workplace romances you
should govern yourself by. Note that not all of these rules may
apply everywhere.
-
Be sure you know
your workplace policies about office relationships, and
interpersonal fraternization. Some workplaces strictly
forbid such extracurricular activities, going so far as
offering a workplace dalliance as terms for dismissal. Don't
let it cost you your job and career.
-
Although the
initial "Would you like to go out sometime" question happens
at the workplace, try to keep such continuing personal
discussions to a minimum. Nothing is more disruptive or
attention-getting than an office romance. And nothing will
show up quicker on your next personnel review than 'hitting
on' co-workers.
-
No means No. And
leave it at that. If you attempt to change a 'No' into a
'Yes' you may find yourself defending a sexual harassment
accusation.
-
Do not ask for
dates outside of your worker's class or supervisory level.
Asking your boss for a date isn't a good idea and a worse
idea is asking someone that is under your responsibility. If
the attraction is just too obvious that you both have to act
on it, someone should change jobs before being forced to.
-
Set ground rules
that you both will abide by. This should cover
conversations, phone calls and all types of non-business
contact.
-
Never bring a
relationship problem or argument into the workplace.
-
Do not respond
to the inevitable gossip or jealous remarks about your
relationship.
*
Rob is not a professional counselor, just someone that wants to
help. His advice and opinions are his own and should be treated
as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll give you the
best advice his experience allows. And you'll have someone
that'll listen to your troubles without being too judgmental.
And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
Disclaimer: ©2006-2007 AdviceGeneral.com. If you
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http://www.advicegeneral.com/terms-of-use.htm
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