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How To Handle The Boyfriend that Ignores You

Ask Rob! The Advice General
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ASK ROB!
Relationships are a meeting of equals, or at least they should be. But every so often you'll feel taken advantage of or ignored. This is what to look for and how to handle it.

I bet a lot of questions from women that complain about their boyfriends ignoring them when the boyfriend has his friends around.

And I have a lot of answers for why this happens, let's see if you can find your particular situation among them.

1. The BF doesn't get to see his friends a lot and enjoys being with them even if it means not spending the time with you although you are still present.

This type of situation sometimes ends up with two separate gatherings being in the same general space: a "hen party" and a "rooster party". The guys hang with other guys and the women group together. It also ends up with a lot of competition for the BF's attention.

Win this battle by including yourself into the guy's conversation, usually best with an embarrassing story about the BF to share with the group. Anything else and you'll just be ignored continually.

2. The BF seems to enjoy other people's company to yours and often you are separated from him not only by distance (being in another room) but by conversation topic (things that either don't interest you or stories of events when you were not around are discussed).

This type of distance separation can be conquered by using "active listening techniques". Get involved in the conversation by listening and asking "what happened next" type questions as well as "how did that happen" questions.

By remaining near the BF without hanging on his shoulder or arm you can use these active listening tips to be involved in these stories and events that preceded your relationship.

Remember the news reporters rules and ask questions that answer the Who, What, Where, When and How questions of the events being discussed. Never change the subject.

3. You are ignored by your BF when he is with his friends and you have tried the above techniques without positive results.

Then it is time to make yourself missed by purposely not being with him when he is with his friends.

You leave to do your own thing.

This is an important step because many times when the other techniques do not work women can re-exert their control over the BF only by not actively being ignored by him. "Honey, you're busy with your friends, I'm going shopping " or go wherever, but do not wait out his time with his friends.

Do not be the pet that waits patiently for the master to have time to play with, after all others have gone.

Show your power of self by deciding to not be ignored and making the choice to do something you want to do instead of just waiting for him. This is a huge step in any relationship and is important that the "leaving" is not done out of anger but you leave because you know your BF needs time to unwind with his friends and you should not be expected to wait for him to accomplish this unwinding.

Control your part of the relationship by exerting your individuality and do not follow his examples of "friendship".

Best wishes,
Rob

 

Dear Reader,
Over the years I've had the opportunity to read many "self-help" books that deal with a variety of situations that occur between men and women. Please take a moment and visit these suggested websites, where applicable:

For Women

For Men

* Rob is not a professional counselor, just someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
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