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College Dating And Making The First Moves

Ask Rob! The Advice General
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ASK ROB!

Dating is essentially a sharing of time together that allows for pleasure between two people in different places doing different activities.

Dear Rob,
I'm an 18 year old freshman in college living in the dorms.

Recently, a new beautiful blonde transfer freshman girl moved onto my floor. It's the first week, and her and I have already started talking. I introduced myself to her in the hall the first day I saw her, and talked to her again later in the day in the hall about how we ended up at the college we are at.

Today on the way up the stairs from class she saw me and we started talking, but like the previous conversations it was quick and casual.

I'm wondering if there are tips you can give me in regards to talking more and when and how to "make my move" on her.
Doug

Hi Doug,
I think that you need to connect more still on a personal level.

The rules say:
"Start with a coffee date and good conversation."

You've already opened the door for conversation by doing the right things:
Positive eye contact;
Confidently introducing yourself;
And giving yourself time to decide on the "right move" to make.

Now you have to keep her interest high by getting her out with you (yes, a date!), and keeping things between you fun and relaxed.
Keeping the conversation shouldn't be hard as long as you follow the rules of good conversation:
Listen more than you speak;
Ask opened ended questions such as "when, where, how and why";
Keep on topic, don't flake out with changing the subject because of nervousness;
And, remember what she talks about. These topics of hers are the keys to her personality, how she handles herself and what you can expect should the time you spend together continue and increase.

Dating is essentially a sharing of time together in situations that allow people to experience their environments and how they affect their feelings towards each other.

Plan to plan your time together, your dates, so that you can have fun together. Plan to find out what she likes to do and do that. Plan to look at yourself and share what you feel she will like about you.

Don't go for the loud party atmosphere to count on keeping her interested in you. Move towards the exciting, out of the ordinary, one-on-one things you can do, either on or off campus, that will give you time together, without being in a sexually charged place, like alone in either of your dorms.

I'm sure that once you've had your opening date(s) you can make the right plan(s) to have some fun together. That will lead you to being able to comfortable "making your move" and not being rejected.
Best wishes,
Rob.


 

Dear Reader,
Over the years I've had the opportunity to read many "self-help" books that deal with a variety of situations that occur between men and women. Please take a moment and visit these suggested websites, where applicable:

For Women

For Men

* Rob is not a professional counselor, just someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
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