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Ask Rob! The
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Dating is essentially
a sharing of time together that allows for pleasure between two
people in different places doing different activities.
Dear
Rob,
I'm an 18 year old freshman in college living in the dorms.
Recently, a new beautiful blonde transfer freshman girl moved onto
my floor. It's the first week, and her and I have already started
talking. I introduced myself to her in the hall the first day I saw
her, and talked to her again later in the day in the hall about how
we ended up at the college we are at.
Today
on the way up the stairs from class she saw me and we started
talking, but like the previous conversations it was quick and
casual.
I'm
wondering if there are tips you can give me in regards to talking
more and when and how to "make my move" on her.
Doug
Hi Doug,
I think that you need to connect more still on a personal level.
The
rules say:
"Start with a coffee date and good conversation."
You've already opened the door for conversation by doing the right
things:
Positive eye contact;
Confidently introducing yourself;
And giving yourself time to decide on the "right move" to make.
Now
you have to keep her interest high by getting her out with you (yes,
a date!), and keeping things between you fun and relaxed.
Keeping the conversation shouldn't be hard as long as you follow the
rules of good conversation:
Listen more than you speak;
Ask opened ended questions such as "when, where, how and why";
Keep on topic, don't flake out with changing the subject because of
nervousness;
And, remember what she talks about. These topics of hers are the
keys to her personality, how she handles herself and what you can
expect should the time you spend together continue and increase.
Dating is essentially a sharing of time together in situations that
allow people to experience their environments and how they affect
their feelings towards each other.
Plan
to plan your time together, your dates, so that you can have fun
together. Plan to find out what she likes to do and do that. Plan to
look at yourself and share what you feel she will like about you.
Don't go for the loud party atmosphere to count on keeping her
interested in you. Move towards the exciting, out of the ordinary,
one-on-one things you can do, either on or off campus, that will
give you time together, without being in a sexually charged place,
like alone in either of your dorms.
I'm sure that once you've had your opening date(s) you can make the
right plan(s) to have some fun together. That will lead you to being
able to comfortable "making your move" and not being rejected.
Best wishes,
Rob.
*
Rob is not a professional counselor, just someone that wants to
help. His advice and opinions are his own and should be treated
as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll give you the
best advice his experience allows. And you'll have someone
that'll listen to your troubles without being too judgmental.
And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
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