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Ask Rob! The
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The peer pressure to be with someone
your own age or grade level is a bias that tells you the person is
not completely able to think of himself without comparing himself to
others!
Dear Rob,
I recently confessed my affection to a guy friend of mine and to my
surprise, he felt the same.
We sat and talked, discussing if we wanted to become more than
friends. He suggested that we go on a date, to see where we could
take things. So we go out and things are going great. When people
ask him if I was his girlfriend he tells them I am. But we get back
to his car, we start to discuss our relationship in detail and he
reveals to me that he is unsure about us because while I'll be
starting my senior year in high school, he'll be starting college at
a school an hour and a half away from me.
I started to become frustrated with him because he keeps telling me
that he really likes me (even mentioning examples) but how he is
somewhat swayed by "outside forces".
He is a very smart guy and a very logical thinker. That's why he's
had so much trouble deciding. He begins to tear up because he
"doesn't know what to do."
We decide to leave and head for a park to walk. So while he's
driving, I tell him that I'm sorry... that I shouldn't have put all
that on him but it's just I have such strong feelings for him and
I've heard the "long-distance relationship insecurity" thing before.
We both start crying and he tells me that he's sorry too and I admit
to him about my past relationships and how they never seem to work
out and he tells me that any guy that wouldn't want to go out with
you is crazy. So we get to the park and talk and have an amazing
time. We come home, kiss, embrace and I tell him that I want to see
him before he leaves. but since that day, I haven't received any
communication from him although I see that he checked my myspace
page quite frequently after our date. I told him how I felt about
the whole thing but I haven't talked to him since. I'm trying to
give him his space but it's coming down to the wire. And I really
care about him but I don't know what to do. I feel emotionally
exhausted about the whole thing. :(
Thanks for reading. Hope to hear from you soon. :)
Signed,
Hopeless in Colorado
Hi Hopeless,
This guy doesn't need his space. He needs his life. And what he
fears most is that he's going to be a college freshman dating a high
school girl.
Trust me, it's not going to work. There is distance and the school
bias working against this. Your guy knows this although he also
knows what he'll be missing if he doesn't date you now.
He's already showing you his doubts and, with distance and a new
life and the college world in front of him, your relationship won't
last if you let it get started. And he's ignoring you so that he
doesn't have to say this to your face.
Remain his friend but know that your lives are about to take
different directions. Do not get involved at this point. If he asks
you why you've decided to remain friends tell him what I told you.
And next summer, should you both be single maybe you can really
become more than friends. But not before. Too many changes are going
to happen to him, and you, in the coming months.
Best wishes,
Rob.
Dear Reader,
Over the years I've had the opportunity to read many "self-help"
books that deal with a variety of situations that occur between men
and women. Please take a moment and visit these suggested websites, where applicable:
For Women
For Men
* Rob is not a professional counselor, just
someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll
give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have
someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too
judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
Disclaimer: ©2006-2012 AdviceGeneral.com.
This article and any articles published by "Ask Rob! The Advice
General" are for entertainment purposes only. For complete terms and
limitations please go to: www.advicegeneral.com
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