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Dear Rob,
I'm 21 (girl) and people say that I lack confidence. When I was
starting university I never expected to really get any admirers.
Well this one guy when i was going in the library--he is about mid
20s I think--well he was going out library and on his way out he
noticed me and he came right up close to me and just stood there and
stared in my eyes... it wasn't done in a perverted way...Well I was
quite taken back and next time I saw him he would just kind of
ignore me... Well two weeks passed and then he saw me--its like
every time he saw me he would be so emotionless and just stand there
and stare-- I never knew what to do and to be honest I was quite
nervous... so I would look back at him... well this staring thing
with no emotion went on for months-- its like every time we saw each
other we would notice each other and try and pretend like we never
saw each other...sounds crazy I know....
Well, I decided to go beyond this staring stage so before X-mas I
saw him in the library and i stared at him and kind of smiled...
well I think he was shocked since I would never stare and he could
see me and pretended like he couldn't then he glanced my way... I
got more confused and felt a bit hurt-- like I got it wrong or
something-- well I had two months off.... and when I came back
I decided that I had enough of doing this-- even these games can be
tiring-- so when I saw him this
time he looked at me in the library and I did too and then I looked
away like if i was angry-- two weeks I saw him and I could see him--
but choose to ignore him-- I think my pride was in my way-- (in
between this time he saw me chatting and laughing with other guys in
front of him and once I noticed him nearby while I was talking to my
male friend I looked at him and he just got up and walked off--like
he never saw me)--
Well I never saw him for two weeks and got worried that I went too
far so I decided to not do those childish game but unfortunately, he
continued them... in a much worse way--- I would see him look at him
and he would not even glance or look.... and he would just ignore
me... I decided once to go and sit right in front of him and I
looked over I wanted to talk to him-- but even with me in front of
him he just pretended like I did not exist... he never even looked
at me even though he could see me-- well these ignoring on his
side lasted for two weeks-- in this time I tried looking at him but
there was nothing-- like if I entered a room he would just glance at
me... and if he came in a room and we where alone he would come in
like he never saw and then run off... its like he cant stand being
in the same room as me... and on the last day of my university (term
break) I was entering the department and he was on the other end of
the room well out of all the space he just walked RIGHT past me and
pretend like I don't exist -- I just looked normal like I never
noticed him either---- its like he is angry or something-- I don't
know--
I know this may seem a stupid question--- but I tried-- and now we
have two months off university-- and I need to get some outside
advice about whether it is my imagination-- is it the case that he
is not interested in me... or will it be too late when I go back --
I can't talk to him-- and I know it may sound old fashioned
but I would rather he came up to me...
Is there any advice you can give-- since I am very confused... Is
this just a game that men play??? Also, is this my imagination is it
the case that he is not interested any more.
Thanks
J
Hi J,
This is just a case of "flirting gone bad".
Next time you see this guy, walk up to him and say this:
The childish flirting stage has ended. Ask me out or be banished!
Playing this flirting game is a way of a guy "making a move" without
committing to making the move and risking rejection.
Many guys, the nervous type, play this game although some "players"
also go this route.
By confronting him and saying the game is over you can move on,
finally.
Best wishes,
Rob.
Hey guys, Mellow out!
Getting a girl's attention is step one in meeting her. Once that
glancing contact has been made, follow up and talk to her. It
doesn't matter what you say as long as you keep that initial talk
short, 2 or 3 minutes at most, and you get her email or phone
number.
Flirting is fun.
Flirting is opening the door to say "Hi" and get her email/phone
number. Flirting, getting her attention and not following up quickly
is not only stupid, it's confusing. And with every passed
opportunity you're getting creepier.
Flirt.
Get email/phone number.
Walk away.
Email/call in two days.
Yes, starting to
date can be this easy once you know how flirting works.
Dear Reader,
Over the years I've had the opportunity to read many "self-help"
books that deal with a variety of situations that occur between men
and women. Please take a moment and visit these suggested websites, where applicable:
For Women
For Men
* Rob is not a professional counselor, just
someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll
give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have
someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too
judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
Disclaimer: ©2006-2010 AdviceGeneral.com.
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