500+ Dating Service Reviews
Dating Advice Your Parents Don't Know |
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500+ Dating Service Reviews
Dating Advice Your Parents Don't Know |
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Ask Rob! The
Advice General After ending a difficult relationship it can be hard to regain control of your dating life. Fear directs you. But you can and will move forward.
Dear
Rob, Well, my cousin who had moved in with my brother was there as well and he had told me that there was this guy (my ex- "N") he had met when he moved up to IL and he wanted me to meet him, because he was a great guy and he was a lot of fun and he felt that we were a lot of like and would click well together. So, I got to know this guy that he introduced me to and him and I ended up doing long distance for 14 months. During those months we had been deciding whether I was going to be moving back up to IL so that him and I could be together or if he was going to move to Florida. "N" (my ex) is originally from Florida, he had just moved up to IL when he met my cousin, it was a coincident that I had just left IL to go back to FL and he did the opposite. Well, anyways, I knew that it would be best for me to move to IL since he didn't have a college degree and had a great job that was paying him really good for having no degree. He was in the IT industry and he enjoyed what he did. Well, to make this long story shorter: I'll be honest we had some problems, things between him and I just weren't like they use to be the first 7 months of dating. Well, when I moved in with him in IL things slowly got worse. We argued all the time and when we did I always found myself apologizing even if it wasn't my fault. Just, because I got tired of trying to get him to realize where he was wrong, so I would just say "I'm sorry" so we wouldn't argue anymore. He
always had this theory that he had told me once before "I'm always
right until proven wrong" - Yeah we're not close minded are we ? Not
only did he tell me that, but his mom had already warned me that "he
thinks he knows it all" I already knew that he was a stubborn
person, because when we would get into arguments he would always try
to prove his point and he ALWAYS knew how to twists things up to
make it seem like he was not wrong, he was very good at manipulating
me. I would get so tired of that, but I still kept holding on to
what we have especially since we were planning on getting married.
But, then when we lived together, what was the excuse then? It's crazy because a week before I was moving to IL, I cried to my roommate that I was afraid things wouldn't work out. She told me that if they didn't at least I can always move back home. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't' have moved and had listened to my own instincts. Living with him was an up and down roller coaster ride. One day he was a sweet heart the next day he would make me feel like crap, he would put me down, but would act as if it was normal. He told me once that I had to workout because I looked like I was starting to gain weight, meanwhile I weighed 108lbs. not fat at all. He's told me that he felt that he cooked better then me, that I didn't know how to dress with fashion, the way I walked, he asked me "if the university I graduated from was easy?" pretty much trying to tell me I wasn't smart. He just turned out to be someone I didn't know when I moved to IL, he had changed so much, or maybe that was who he really was. Does it sound like maybe he was insecure? And maybe he said and did those things to feel better about himself. We even got into an argument once and he punched the wall. We were suppose to be getting married 2 weeks ago and I still have a wedding dress I need to sell. It's been so hard. I don't know what I can do to "let it go and move on" can you give me any advice as to why you think this happened, maybe we moved to fast, maybe we just really weren't compatible, what can I do to move on and not feel that every guy I see now I feel like it would be hard for me to trust them. How
will I know the next person I meet won't put on a front before I get
to really know who he is and then realize that I don't like the real
him?? HELP me please! I feel really alone with this. He lied and manipulated you from the beginning. He wasn’t in love with you as much as he wanted to control you. To own you. To blame you for his own inadequacies and lack of self-esteem in being a man. And you escaped. You should be proud of yourself. Many
other women find out too late about this type of man. They stick
through several years of marriage, eventually coming to the
conclusion (or never) that they are being abused. And they are
trapped. Beaten and worse. Any guy that demands change in the woman he is dating, the woman he loves, is not a real man. He’s a little boy in a man’s body, surrounded by insecurity and no self-esteem. A real man is accepting, changes for the woman in her life and does not demand change in her. Chivalry is not dead, it’s just on an MTV hiatus. A Rap music video is the worse education in the world for boys and men to learn how to relate to women and yet this is where we are in the 21st century.
Understand that you cannot change a man. Despite your best wishes
(emotional and romantic involvement notwithstanding) the package you
see is the package you get. And
in this day and age if distance is a factor, make the effort.
Holiday weekends spent with family (even if you have to stay in a
hotel for convenience sake) is when this should happen, before
events thrust you, him and the family together.
Making an intelligent financial arrangement prior to sharing living
space is an absolute must and will also foreshadow your future life
together. The
both of you must prepare for your future family together, with
marriage contract in hand. Or your life needs to start being planned
apart, with all legal ramifications being dealt with as adults.
Dear Reader, For Women
For Men
* Rob is not a professional counselor, just
someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll
give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have
someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too
judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
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