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Hey Rob, I
have been reading some of your replies lately to some other people
and so I figured you would be the only person who could help me!
There
is this girl in my high school. I am 16. She looks really nice. We
only talked a couple of times, I just know her cell phone number due
to some incident that happened to her but she doesn't even know me
too much to talk on the phone. I would end up making a fool out of
myself.
The
problem is that she is one of the popular girls in school, you know
the rich and popular type. Whereas, moi, well let's just say I am
not exactly a looker and to some extent, yes a nerd. Not really one
of the richest/popular guys at school. I don't even know her too
much to know what interests we share... it makes me really sad. Its
summer now. I don't know how I could survive 3 more months not
looking at her! Please give me some advice!! I am desperate!!
Thanks!
Hi,
Getting in with the popular girl at school isn't all too hard,
depending on her overall attitude and availability.
And your self-confidence level.
First off, what makes a popular girl popular:
- She's good looking
- Hangs out with other popular people
- Clean and nice smelling
- Wears nice clothes
- Knows the lyrics to the top songs
- Enjoys going out with her crowd of people
- Dates lots of guys without getting serious
- Shows that she has self confidence and high self esteem (even
though she probably doesn't and is scared on the inside of becoming
unpopular)
She is surrounded by popularity so it just rubs off on her. She has
attitude and a level of personal pride. And it's these things that
usually also stop guys from approaching her sincerely, why she ends
up dating jerks. It's the jerk that actually shows confidence and
has the ability to talk to her, bust on her, that allows him to
enter her social circle.
Now, what makes the unpopular guy such a loser?
- He's not always dressed well
- Not always smelling 'shower fresh'
- Doesn't exude confidence in himself
- Keeps to himself, not very many friends
- Doesn't get involved in group activities unless he can hide behind
someone else's actions
- He's a follower not a leader
- He thinks that he's not good enough to become popular
- Usually very afraid to talk to girls
- Afraid of being told he's wrong by his peers so he doesn't voice
an opinion about anything
So, if you want to turn around your chances to get with the popular
girl you have to make some serious changes about your own personal
outlook.
You've got to be able to approach, talk to, joke with, bust on, all
kinds of women. Not just the pretty ones, not only the popular
girls, not the ones that makes you dizzy with sexual thoughts. You
have to be able to talk to any girl, any time, anywhere.
You've got to clean up yourself so you can break into the group that
surrounds your ideal girl. Make yourself into a confident man. Not a
lovesick puppy.
How do you start these changes?
- Go shopping. All by yourself. Clothes shopping is the best. You
need to find a shirt, a stylish shirt. One that fits well with a
high price tag. And you're going to approach sales girls in the
clothing shops in the mall and you're going to get them to help you,
not only find the right shirt but help you to get used to
conversations with pretty girls. Go into the shop. See the pretty
sales girl. Ask her if this shirt (any nice shirt you pick out)
comes in your size. Ask her if she'd date a guy in this type of
shirt. Ask her what she has that goes with the shirt. Ask her if
she's seen the latest movie (what ever it is) and if she thinks that
a shirt makes the guy in the movie she saw and why. Bust her on the
badly chosen character she mentions. Then say thanks, and you'll
think about the shirt. And move on to the next store.
- Get some lines prepared to ask sales girls, waitresses, about what
they think, what they do on their job. These girls that are paid to
serve you are great to test out your lines and build your
confidence. They have to be nice to you. Just remember that they
aren't going to date you, just reply nicely to you.
When you've started getting used to talking to women, move on to
your target. You're lucky in that it is summer, so your popular girl
likely isn't going to be hanging around with as many friends as she
did in school and may have more free time to spend with someone new.
As well, the pressure is lessened on her to be such a tight-ass
popular girl and break on the geeks and nerds. Your chances are
better during summer vacation and holiday time off school than any
other time during the year because of the less pressure to maintain
her status quo and the popularity pressure from her circle of
popular friends.
You've got her number. Call her up. Say you like her style sense,
meet me in the mall tomorrow and help me buy a shirt. Don't ask,
tell. Give her a time get her to say yes and get off the phone. If
she says she doesn't know her say you're the guy that did that thing
with that other girl that so many people talked about. Don't
describe any more. Get her interest up and get the date when you
tell her when and where and then get off the phone. 3 Minute call,
at most.
When you meet her at the mall go into the same stores where you
started conversations with the sales girls. Hopefully you've left a
positive impression on them and they'll treat you really nice, maybe
even remember your name. This is a great way to stir interest and
maybe spark a little jealousy in your popular girl, making her want
you just a little more.
Be prepared with small things to talk about:
Clothes
School classes
Movies
Music
Get her to talk about herself more than you talk about her or
yourself. Do not allow any awkward silences. If there seems to be a
break in the conversation, jump in with "What do you like about..."
and keep the conversation going.
This should get you going. You've got your work cut out for you now.
Best wishes,
Rob.
Dear Reader,
Over the years I've had the opportunity to read many "self-help"
books that deal with a variety of situations that occur between men
and women. Please take a moment and visit these suggested websites, where applicable:
For Women
For Men
* Rob is not a professional counselor, just
someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll
give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have
someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too
judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
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