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The Goodbye Kiss

Ask Rob! The Advice General
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ASK ROB!

Dating doesn't always speed through physical contact, but when you want a kiss you need to know how to get it.

Dear Rob,
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a few weeks now and things are great but, whenever I walk her to her bus or anywhere we separate all we really do is hug goodbye. Is this a normal thing or is it wrong to sort of expect a goodbye kiss?

I mean nothing really huge, just a quick peck on the lips.

I don't know if it is ok to want that, and how can I let her know without sounding like all I care about is the physical aspect of the relationship?
Thanks, Carl

Hi Carl,
Moves like a kiss goodbye are a special thing to share. But your girlfriend may be uncomfortable showing this type of intimacy in public.

I'd let it be for a while but in another month just say to her "You know, sometimes when we leave each other I'd like to get a goodbye kiss."

And go from there.

Couples always need to communicate what they like and don't like about the actions of the other person, while not being petty about it.

This type of intimate communication is hard to approach sometimes but it really can save a relationship.

Approach these things in a caring way, show that by bringing these things up your aim is to strengthen your relationship, not complain or put down the other person, the person you love.

It's OK to say:
I like to be kissed like this, not like that;
Sometime's you have bad breath;
What you just said wasn't funny to me;
Please hold my hand when we're out walking around;
You're mean to me in front of your friends and this is how I'd like you to respect me now.

Of course I could go on and on, but you get the idea.
All these small issues really are solvable but only once the topic is out in the open and you can talk about them in a mature, reasonable and loving manner.

Best wishes,
Rob.

 

Dear Reader,
Over the years I've had the opportunity to read many "self-help" books that deal with a variety of situations that occur between men and women. Please take a moment and visit these suggested websites, where applicable:

For Women

For Men

* Rob is not a professional counselor, just someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
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