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Hello Rob!
I'm 18 and I have the biggest crush ever on a girl at my school.
I've never had any problems with chics, due to my humour (not the
looks lol, I'm not that cocky). The problem is, she has a b/f.
Now,
I'm pretty sure she likes me, she has tried to push me twice while i
was in my previous relationship amongst a lot of other things. She
invites me out places (always when I'm broke, lol) but has also said
to me "you'd be a cool brother, ooops, I mean cousin, not a brother,
a cousin OK".
This
whole back and forth confusion has got me really confused and I'm
not that easily confused usually. Just wondering if you could give
me any tips or suggest a really subtle way that would take a lot of
thinking on her behalf to work out that I like her.
Thanks, T.
Hi T,
From what you've told me, it's obvious that she likes you.
The
trouble is, she likes you as a friend, not as boyfriend material.
I can
assume that you hang out with her and she tells you her troubles.
She might even talk about her current boyfriend so you can advise
her what to do, or so she can tell you how awful he is. Then she
goes right back to him.
Well, stop being her girlfriend! You are a masculine guy, not a
wimp, right?
Dump her until she's single, then make your move by directly asking
her for a date. Stop hanging out with her while she's dating someone
else!
The longer you hang out with her while she's going out with someone
else, the lower your chances are of her ever thinking romantically
of you. You'll be stuck in "friends-ville" and never get to date
her.
So, stop being available to her. Find another girl to date.
If
she ever ends up being single when you are single (don't wait for
her!), then ask her out, maybe to catch up on old times... Whatever.
But stop being her girlfriend!
Best wishes,
Rob.
Hey Rob,
I read your advice on "How Will I Know When She Knows I'm Mr.
Right". Awesomely enough most points mentioned by you have
somehow occurred with me. I am a little confused how she really
feels about me. I've known her for a couple of years. She is a
real HOTTIE and almost never too far away from 10 guys chasing
her. She knows that she is attractive, but I've always
complemented her for inner soul which is pure and that's how we
became friends. She just got over a relationship, and I am
confused about the following points. I would much appreciate if
you could help me out here... PLEASE!!
What do these mean:
1) She kept blabbering about her ex-boyfriends and how much jerk
asses they have been. Although I never asked for those details.
2) She showed me an album with photographs of her ex almost
naked and then she took it back saying some of these pics are
private!!! damn again I didn't ask for it..
3) She kept insisting that this was not a date, just two friends
meeting. What's that all about??
Throughout the meeting I tried to maintain eye-contact with her
and she responded well. I did touch her hand once and again she
was smiling. When i was leaving her house, she took two steps
towards me and i just gave her gentle and friendly hug. She told
me that she wanted to meet again.
My question to you is "should I"? Is there any chance that it'll
go any further.. PLEASE HELP ME OUT COZ I AM REALLY CONFUSED..!!
Ciao,
A.M.
Hi AM,
Face it, there is no relationship possibilities here, you are
her friend and that's it.
Obviously you've been intimidated by her or her looks, since the
beginning and didn't have the courage to up and ask her out so
you did the next best (actually worse) thing, you became her
close friend.
Now, you are her girlfriend.
If you want to switch this around you need to break off contact
with her for a while, stop being the shoulder she cries on.
Then ask her out (a couple of weeks later) and be sure she knows
it's a real date!
Best wishes,
Rob.
Dear Reader,
Over the years I've had the opportunity to read many "self-help"
books that deal with a variety of situations that occur between men
and women. Please take a moment and visit these suggested websites, where applicable:
For Women
For Men
* Rob is not a professional counselor, just
someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll
give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have
someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too
judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
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