His Past Freaks Me Out! by Ask Rob! The Advice General

Ask Rob! The Advice General
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Hi Rob,
I am very uncomfortable about my fiancé's past. He was once married and experimented with "swinging" and "orgies." when he was in his mid twenties.

He assures me that he is no longer interested in this activity and he was just curious, but I am disgusted by this type of behavior; especially since he is still in contact with some of these people as friends.

He now wants to get married and insists that he would never get me involved in anything like this, he loves me and just wants to be with me. Yet I still feel uncomfortable about his past!
Please advise. C.

Hi C,
One of the toughest things about relationships is coming to terms with the other person's life before you. Yes, they had a life that you were not part of. You have to understand that they may have done things that are no longer part of their life. And you have to be comfortable with all of that. Past, present and future.

In your case, if your fiancé maintains ties to his previous life it may be because he hasn't totally given it up. Or he's waiting for the right time to get back into it. Or introduce you into the lifestyle.
Or you'll have to trust what he's said and believe that that part of his life is over.

I think that you need to work this out before saying "I do". If you're uncomfortable now, you'll be more so when you have these 'friends' being invited to your matrimonial home.
Ask him to end all contact with these 'swinger friends'. You won't be able to change him later and if he loves you, he'll put you first.

Best wishes,
Rob.

Dear Reader,
Over the years I've had the opportunity to read many "self-help" books that deal with a variety of situations that occur between men and women. Please take a moment and visit these suggested websites, where applicable:

For Women

For Men

* Rob is not a professional counselor, just someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
Disclaimer: ©2006-2012 AdviceGeneral.com. This article and any articles published by "Ask Rob! The Advice General" are for entertainment purposes only. For complete terms and limitations please go to: www.advicegeneral.com

Ask Rob! The Advice General

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