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Ask Rob! The
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Does rejection
stop you from making the first move? Let's move away from fear of
what could happen to the actuality of what will happen. You will ask
her for a date.
Dear
Rob,
I have just been reading into your advice on dating and
relationships. Firstly I have to say, I am quite impressed. You seem
quite knowledgeable. Despite this however, I feel I need advice on a
more individually tailored level.
The situation is this. I am a 21 year old university student in my
first year. I have met a girl who I have become quite interested in.
She strikes me as being a very kind and friendly person, and has a
very positive and bubbly attitude. I recognize the first step is to
talk to her. This I have already done.
About one month ago I was
trying to do something to rectify my tragic fashion sense. I figured the
best advice I could get on this would be to ask the experts. So I decided to
approach some girls and ask them if they knew where the best clothes shops
where. She was one of them as it turns out. Then for the last month whenever
I would pass her by or see her, she would smile or wave at me. Her manner
would be quite shy as a general rule.
On the rare occasion I
might even catch her looking at me, although I must admit, this doesn't
exactly happen a lot. Then last week, as I was contemplating the idea of
approaching her, she approached me. Our chat was quite casual as you can
imagine, and was interrupted by the arrival of her friends. From there I was
a little left out of the conversation, although she did occasionally turn
her attention back to me.
This leads me to ask you for advice on the matter.
My question is this. Is it possible she may like me? Don't misunderstand me.
I don't blow my own trumpet. I recognize I don't have classical good looks,
and its fairly possible that there is that proverbial 'tumour in my humour'.
But, you never know, and I guess meeting a nice girl is something I haven't
completely given up on. I suppose I haven't really given you much to go work
with, so I will also ask you for a second piece of advice.
How can I find out if she likes me, without completely giving away my own
feelings? I am in no mood for rejection anymore. I just need some kind of
strategy to work out if my feelings are mutual or not, so that if in fact
they are not, I can walk away with my dignity, and have saved face in the
process.
I look forward to you reply.
Yours Sincerely,
Mike
Hi Mike,
She does like you and you don’t have to be so secretive and frightened…
Invite her to go fashion shopping with you, one-on-one and let that be the
start to a wonderful romance.
Shopping, coffee somewhere…. An after-class snack break or two… fun local
events to go to… once the ball starts rolling you’ll be fine.
And don’t be afraid of rejection here, unless you wait too long and she
starts dating someone else because you seemed interested, then cooled off
towards her.
Be more afraid of that
little voice in your head that screams at you with each missed opportunity
to ask her out. Being rejected is a whole lot better than never knowing what
might have been.
All girls like a guy to ask them, not to “play games” about the first date
and whether you like them or not.
The guy that makes the first move usually is the first guy to get the girl.
Best wishes,
Rob
Dear Reader,
Over the years I've had the opportunity to read many "self-help"
books that deal with a variety of situations that occur between men
and women. Please take a moment and visit these suggested websites, where applicable:
For Women
For Men
* Rob is not a professional counselor, just
someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll
give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have
someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too
judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
Disclaimer: ©2006-2010 AdviceGeneral.com.
This article and any articles published by "Ask Rob! The Advice
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