|
Ask Rob! The
Advice General
Ask your question at
www.advicegeneral.com
Friends do
sometimes move the relationship forward and date each other. But you
have to be prepared for all that might happen then you can move
things forward.
Dear
Rob,
You seem to have a good grasp on this subject PLEASE HELP!! here we
go...
I am a 21 year old college student... there was a beautiful girl in
my class that I just had to get to know... so I strategically became
her lab partner (4 months ago)
When I met her she had a boyfriend of 4 years whom she was with
throughout all of high school... but they were on they had been
verge of a breakup for a while due to his controlling nature and the
fact that he hid an addiction to marijuana from her. she is a
relatively strict Christian and he was not so much....obviously.
I have been very laid back with her no pressure no heavy flirting...
now we stay up countless hours studying and working on homework at
either her house or mine... we usually end up doing other things
like going for walks, playing games, even going in her hot tub or
just talking and goofing around...
lately the past couple weeks we've gone to the drive in... we get
lunch... she comes over on sat night and we "hang out"... she always
says she's over her bf and moved on yet she talks about him
occasionally
we have a very good connection... and seem to enjoy each others
company... she Emailed me a picture of the two of us... with smiley
face... just little things like that... but she has never outright
hinted towards liking me and it seems very casual
I'm not cocky.. but I'm not a bad looking guy, I'm athletic, I have
a good job, a nice car, a motorcycle, I am a Christian like her, she
likes soccer, I coach kids soccer, I volunteer for the homeless, she
tells me I'm very intelligent and funny... theoretically I have a
good chance?
I know giving in and telling her I feel for her is probably the
worst idea... hence I have resisted and kept it casual... but we
talk everyday and always know what each other are doing and always
have plans with each other and we've gotten so close.... Rob this
has gone on long enough... I have never felt like this before... she
makes me weak like a little school girl and she is the most amazing
person I have ever met... I have gotten this far without blowing
it... but am loosing strength and I fear becoming to obvious... what
can I do to make her want to be mine, WHAT SHOULD I DO TO SEAL THE
DEAL?
Hi,
You’ve been spending a lot of time with her and that’s great.
What you aren’t doing is being specific with her.
The next time you’re alone with her say to her “I really like you a
lot and I want to make our being together official. Will you be my
girlfriend?”
Just like that.
She may say “No” and if she does, then just back off for awhile.
Who knows what contact she has with her ex, maybe she needs to just
to be hanging around with someone without the pressure of a
relationship.
But you have to let her know that you’re falling for her otherwise
the time she spends with you will simply be “relationship healing
time” and she’ll start looking for someone else right under your
nose.
I have a feeling that she will either say yes or she will want to
think about it.
Either answer is in your favor.
But if she can’t give you an answer you’ll need to make her miss you
by not being available all the time for her.
Once she starts missing you she will be more apt to decide to date
you to not lose what she had with you.
Often women don’t see the best suitor in front of them until they’re
gone.
To sum up:
1 Ask her to be your girlfriend
2 If she says yes, move forward
3 If she says no or she wants to think it over, become scarce, don’t
hang out with her so much, give her a chance to miss you
4 Know that the future is yours, but you have to pro-actively move
the relationship from where it is now to where it belongs, whether
getting closer or more apart and you can start dating other women.
Best wishes,
Rob
Dear Reader,
Over the years I've had the opportunity to read many "self-help"
books that deal with a variety of situations that occur between men
and women. Please take a moment and visit these suggested websites, where applicable:
For Women
For Men
* Rob is not a professional counselor, just
someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll
give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have
someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too
judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
Disclaimer: ©2006-2012 AdviceGeneral.com.
This article and any articles published by "Ask Rob! The Advice
General" are for entertainment purposes only. For complete terms and
limitations please go to: www.advicegeneral.com
|
Today's Question
