Ask Rob! The
Ask your question at
Experience in dating,
like knowing how to put on pants, isn't something we're born with
having. The "Fear Of Rejection" scares many men away from "taking
the chance" and asking her. Here's a few icebreakers to get you
started into the "Zone Of Influence".
I am in high school and recently have developed a huge crush on a
girl I have never talked to, we have been going to school together
for 3 years and so 3 years of silence between us may not be the best
I really like this girl and she's probably the first girl I have
really thought I could go somewhere with. She isn't a "popular
person" and I'm kinda am, but that, in my opinion, shouldn't matter.
Sometimes I'm wanting to go out with her so much that I feel like
taking the straight approach but then think that it would be weird
because we don't know each other.
Another fear I have is that she hates me, there is no proof its just
a fear I have and I don't know why I have, it its just there.
I also wonder if she finds me attractive. But really I have no idea
what I should do about her.
I live in a very small town with not many date options, sure a movie
but only every Friday night. And the biggest problem of it all is
that we don't have any classes together, we have no shared friends
and there's really no reason for me to talk to her besides the fact
that I like her and I'm scared that she would pick up on that right
away. Anyways please help me I heard you are very good!!
Cringing from asking
Cringing From Asking,
The first thing you need to do is find a way to talk to her. You have to be
ready to say "Hi" to her. There is no other way.
sound smart enough to figure out at least 3 things you have in
1 - school subjects (she's not in any of your classes but I bet she
has/had the same subjects you do!) Maybe you can ask her how she
handles (subject class) because you heard that she did well in it
2 - has she been to (some store) because you need to buy a gift for
(some relative) and would like her opinion
3 - say hi to her, you were told by some friends that you know she's
interested in (some subject) and you want to email her something you
found online but you need her email address
All of these ideas require you to go up to her and talk to her. So
you need to find out what she likes, what she reads, what classes
she talks. All the background info. And if anyone asks, be a man,
say "I want to know her better so I can date her". Don't wuss out
If you like someone, and maybe even they like you (but you're not
sure) you must make the first move and start talking with her.
Nothing overly long or impressive. You're not going to discuss the
"Three Hundred Years War" in detail. You're not going to say much
more than "Hi, I saw you were doing (something) and I'm interested
in it, can you tell me about it" and thirty seconds later, at most,
say "I've gotta run, can I get your email address?"
If she figures out that you like her, well that's actually a good
thing. You can't trick a girl into liking you anymore than you can
trick her into wearing your underwear.
The "Fear Of Rejection" begins the moment a guy likes a girl and is
worried that she doesn't like him, so he'll never ask her, talk to
her, even meet her.
In the early teen years this even leads many guys to wonder if maybe
they'll never have a girlfriend, maybe they're gay, maybe they're
just horrid to be with and girls will never like them. I've got to
tell you that "This Is A Stage" almost all teenagers, and even young
adults, face. This stage does pass with time and moving yourself
away from the "Fear Of Rejection" into the more positive "Zone Of
Influence", which I talk about in another article, happens through
experience and maturity.
Follow my suggestions above and you'll be hanging out with your
dream girl soon enough.
Over the years I've had the opportunity to read many "self-help"
books that deal with a variety of situations that occur between men
and women. Please take a moment and visit these suggested websites, where applicable:
* Rob is not a professional counselor, just
someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll
give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have
someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too
judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
Disclaimer: ©2006-2012 AdviceGeneral.com.
This article and any articles published by "Ask Rob! The Advice
General" are for entertainment purposes only. For complete terms and
limitations please go to: www.advicegeneral.com