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After a break-up it's common for people to take a "second look" and have the urge to get back together again. But if it's only you feeling this way, you're going to find it harder to get over him, when really, he is already over you.
Hi Rob,
Recently me and my ex-boyfriend have been talking to each other again and doing some casual flirting.
Our first break-up was not very good (I broke up with him) but somehow we were able to pull our friendship back up, we were really close friends before we started dating. Over the summer we thought about getting back together but for some reason it didn't feel right to me (chemistry?).
We had gone to the movies over the summer and it ended with a kiss and even though he sort of asked me out (he mentioned the fact that he felt it was implied over the internet that night on IM, I begged to differ) I didn't go back out with him. Nevertheless after a really big fight, and a rough patch we were able to casually talk again.
In October when we had no school he came over to watch a movie and we ended up making out. It didn't go any further than that and he was still extremely sweet.
He joked around a lot with me, spun me around in circles in my room and even gave me a piggy back ride downstairs. Now he isn't the football type guy who gets all the girls and does the one-night stands. In fact I've been his only girlfriend, and he's generally speaking a really sweet guy, although I know that he has a tendency to emotionally shut-down sometimes.
Anyways we talked a little bit after October, nothing too serious, and then we started talking a lot in January.
There would be some nights where even though it was a school night we'd talk till 2am or 3am in the morning. In one of these late night conversations he said that he was still very much attracted to me but wanted to try branching out a little (dating other people). After one of our really late night conversations we decided to keep texting during school and then later that evening he just stopped talking to me. Now he's ignoring me. He helped me a little bit with an internship application but then after the application was done he stopped talking to me again.
My sweet 16 is in a month and I asked him for his address to mail the invitation letting him know that of course he didn't have to give it to me if he didn't want to come, but he still gave me his address even though he decided not to continue the conversation past that.
In the midst of all this ignoring, I've been subconsciously
thinking about him more leading to point where *I* actually like
him, but he's still ignoring me - holding all the cards almost. Any
advice? I feel like I'm getting mixed signals from him and so I
don't exactly know what to do even though I would really like to go
back out with him. Please help.
Thanks, Tiffany.
Dear Tiffany,
Sorry to say but you're only the "last boat in the harbor" as far as
he goes.
When a guy says "I want to branch out and date other people" he
really means is that as long as you're available he will make out
with you, and maybe look for more, but you're only ever going to be
a friend with benefits.
His ignoring you is the biggest sign that he only wants you when he wants you, nothing more.
Stop expecting him to change and you'll get over him.
Find another boy, I bet you have plenty of choices if you only look
around, or enjoy your 'singledom'.
Best wishes,
Rob
People that read this article also read:
Dear Reader,
Over the years I've had the opportunity to read many "self-help"
books that deal with a variety of situations that occur between men
and women. Please take a moment and visit these suggested websites, where applicable:
For Women
- Christian Carter's Catch Him and Keep Him
- Rori Raye's Have The Relationship You Want
- Carol Allen's Love is in The Stars
For Men
- David Deangelo's Double Your Dating
- David Wygant Men's Mastery Coaching
- Jesse Charger's Seduction Sciences
- Alex Allman's Revolutionary Sex Tips For Men
- The Dating Wizard's Relationship Mastery Program
* Rob is not a professional counselor, just
someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll
give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have
someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too
judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
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