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Ask Rob! The
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You're doing
everything that makes you boyfriend and girlfriend and yet she
doesn't want to officially go out with you? Yes, there's something
wrong here.
Dear
Rob,
There is this girl in my class that recently, for the last three
weeks, we have been spending a lot of time together which we never
did before.
After
a week or so we started talking on the phone till 1am in the
morning.
We've
made out three or four times and we always have a kiss after school
before we go our separate ways.
Well
the other day she out of nowhere tells me she doesn't want to get
serious or be boyfriend and girlfriend right now, which I
understand. The last two guys she went out with cheated on her.
But
she also said she wants to stay where we are now, so basically
fooling around and stuff, but she also said we can't hook up with
other people.
So my
question is: what should I do?
I
would like to date her. Is she just playing hard to get or what?
I
don't want to get let down again. I also think she is a little
afraid because I'll be going to college next year and she will be a
senior in high school. I'm the type of person that just puts all his
emotions out there to be toyed with.
Not
the best I know but its the way I am. So if you could give me some
advice on this I would really appreciate it.
J.
Hi J,
She's not playing hard to get, her interest in you other than a
"boy-toy" just isn't there.
I'd leave her alone for a couple of weeks, be too busy to meet with
her. That will help her to sort out her true feelings and either
decide to date you officially, or just move on.
Don't let her play these games of being "exclusive" while at the
same time officially "not dating". You need to be either single or
dating, not some warped combination of the two.
And stop whining like a little baby. No girl wants to be with a
wussy and I bet you've had plenty of conversations about how much
you love her, want to be with her, blah blah blah. Get over it.
That's probably half the reason why she's killing time with you
while waiting for some other guy to come along and replace you.
Move on before more bad things happen.
Hold your head high knowing that you're better than being treated
the way she is treating you.
No one deserves being lied to, and everything else that is happening
to you.
Take the initiative: get rid of her first.
Let her be the one that misses you.
Enjoy the single life for a while, have fun this summer.
If you can keep a level head you'll find someone special, some one
that won't cheat on you, soon enough.
When your girl starts getting gifts from other guys, when she's
spending more time out with friends that with you and when she
starts lying to you about what she is doing and where she is going
the warning signs are loud and clear. She's leaving you, her
interest in you is gone and now she's just looking for an excuse or
a safe place to land after your relationship breaks up, which is
happening sooner rather than later.
When relationships start to become too comfortable, too predictable,
and your partner starts to look outside the relationship for
excitement, you need to make some changes.
It's time for a serious talk about the direction the both of you are
headed in and I won't be at all surprised that she tells you that
she's grown away from you, fallen out of love.
And prepare yourself to be single, because that is what I see in
your future. Which is a good thing, because you deserve much better!
Best wishes,
Rob.
Dear Reader,
Over the years I've had the opportunity to read many "self-help"
books that deal with a variety of situations that occur between men
and women. Please take a moment and visit these suggested websites, where applicable:
For Women
For Men
* Rob is not a professional counselor, just
someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll
give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have
someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too
judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
Disclaimer: ©2006-2010 AdviceGeneral.com.
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