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Ask Rob! The
Advice General
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Men, no matter the
age, show their relationship reliability through their actions and
inactions. If he can't open up to you, stop holding the door for
him. Move on, you deserve better.
Hey
Rob,
Ok I feel kinda silly doing this but I have no other choice.
I am 20 years
old and for some odd and weird reason I have fallen for a younger guy, (he
will turn 18 in Nov.) that goes to my church. I am the pastor's daughter.
Now, I'm not
sure if it's his age, past, or because I'm the pastor's daughter but he has
me so confused. We've spent a whole lot of time together since April and our
friendship has grown. We haven't been on any dates, the only time we have
been able to talk is at church and we do write to each other constantly.
I started liking him first and then I could tell that he liked me too. He
finally told me he likes me and our friendship or relationship... whatever
you can call it has been great for the most part. We have had some
misunderstandings but we've gone past them mostly because I was the one to
bring them up. He has clearly told me that I have "control of the deck" I am
always leading the conversations and he pretty much just goes from there...
he doesn't open up to me at all even though I've made the effort to open up
to him. His age doesn't bother me but his actions do.
He and I are really compatible. We get along so great. I do know that his
past bothers him a lot and he has told me that I would be "disappointed” He
has expressed how he feels at times but that’s pretty much it. I do let him
know that I am here for him.
We talk as
much as we can and I know he does like me a lot. He seems distant many times
but always does something to let me know he wants to talk to me or be around
me, he flirts with me a lot too. I'm crazy for this guy so what I want to
know is if he really does like me for who I am. He never compliments me and
ever since he told me he likes me he hasn't really mentioned it again. I
just think he is afraid to do or say the wrong things so he just chooses not
to say anything to hurt me. I also don't want to take advantage of him and
his situation. I don't want him to think that since I'm there for him that
he has to like me, I want him to like me for me and not because he feels
obligated to. Can you give me any advice on this situation?? If you need
more info... trust me I can give it.
Thanx in advance,
silly 20 year old
Hi
Silly,
Not only is your “friend” distant but he’s immature as far as having any
type of relationship with a woman.
He is masking his need to control people by his seeming complacency in your
interactions, i.e. he doesn’t lead the conversation he only agrees with what
you’re talking about and continues talking along those lines.
It’s not matter of you “being there” for him. He isn’t looking for someone
to lean on, he’s too into himself to be worried about other people, and how
their actions relate to him.
I’d bet that he has a whole other life outside of church, one that you
aren’t aware of.
He doesn’t compliment you not out of shyness but because it just doesn’t
occur to him to say anything like that.
Even the pastor’s daughter deserves to have a dating life, but I don’t think
this is the guy you should be seeing.
Best wishes,
Rob.
*
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And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
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