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Hey Rob,
I'm 15 years old going 16 soon and I have utterly fallen for one
of my classmates. She's not that pretty but its her attitude and
how nice she is that make me like her. But there's a few
problems.
A few months ago, December to be precise, she hit on me. I
thought that she really meant it and said yes but turns out it
was only a dare from her twin sister. So we didn't get together
but we got closer.
But at the time I was saying yes because I felt sorry for her.
After that I started to notice her and eventually fall for her.
I'm not the class genius, nor the top jock. I'm the sub-geek
that's almost cool but not quite and is always nice to everyone.
My friends say I look relatively good although I myself don't
think so.
I'm not confident or proud of myself. I'm usually quiet. When I
try to talk to her I don't know what to say. Its easy to chat on
MSN but I cant talk to her directly. And because we were
"together" for a brief period I know that she's not yet ready
for commitment. I don't know what to do!! I don't wanna wait too
long to tell how I feel.
So to summarize it:
I like her but she won't want to go out with me. I can't talk to
her. I don't want to be hanging here waiting for her.
What should I do? I don't want to ruin our friendship by telling
her how I feel but I cant keep on holding it in like this.
Thanks For any help,
A
Hi A,
It's more important to have good friends than be
dating someone.
Take this advice, keep chatting with her. Every once in a while
hang out with her.
Start yourself a diary that you can write your daily happenings
and feelings.
And please, talk with your Mom or your dad about their first
dating experiences. They can provide advice that I cannot, since
they know you so much better.
Teenagers almost universally have a poor self-image. They lack
self-confidence and see everyone else as having no problems when
they have more to deal with than they can handle.
The causes of this are simply not enough experience with life
and the sources of their information either don't know any more
than they do (friends and peers) or and the MTV window that they
see life through.
The scale to match up with is impossibly high. Luckily this is a
phase that ends when high school is over. Life really doesn't
start until after graduation. It's just too hard to explain this
fact to a teen that sees everyone else having a much better time
then they are.
If you can move beyond the competitiveness of the teen world, of
the marketing that is being forced down your throat through ads
and TV shows and movies, then you really have a chance to enjoy
your teen years instead of being fearful.
It's time to turn off the TV, get out of the basement and
actually make friends that share the same things you like to do.
Participate instead of trying to 'be the star' of the show.
Ignore the popularity races. The adults that rule the teen world
are far too good at image manipulation and if you can see this,
you'll know that you can never match up to the marketing machine
that is pummeling you with images of how you should dress and
act.
And don't put so much pressure on yourself to be dating. There
is nothing wrong with being, and having, friends. The friends
you make now will be with you far longer than anyone you date
when under 18 (and often older!).
Best wishes,
Rob.
Dear Reader,
Over the years I've had the opportunity to read many "self-help"
books that deal with a variety of situations that occur between men
and women. Please take a moment and visit these suggested websites, where applicable:
For Women
For Men
* Rob is not a professional counselor, just
someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll
give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have
someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too
judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
Disclaimer: ©2006-2010 AdviceGeneral.com.
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