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Ask Rob! The
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Hanging out, buying
her stuff and being available all the time for her isn't how
relationships begin it's how friendships are started. Leave her
alone for a few days and let her decide how much she needs you on
her own and even if she wants to become your girlfriend.
Dear
Rob,
I'm a 17 year old guy, and I like this girl. The problem is, I
don't know if she just wants to be friends or does she like me the
same way I like her.
Here is some background:
She doesn't have a lot of "girl" friends, most of her friends are
guys. I started talking to her about a month ago at school. She was
in a past relationship for 8 months until they broke up. But then
they got back together for about 2 days and split again, and I think
its for good this time. Well anyway we talked for about two weeks
before going out to eat together, and we have been to dinner a
couple times after that.
On Fridays I go pick her up and go hang out with my friends.
Sometimes we will all go and get something quick to eat. Well, my
friends sometimes like to tease me, so we were all in line about to
order our food when my buddy ask me, "You paying for your girls food
right?", and when he said that, she said very snappy, "I'm not his
girl, there is nothing going on between us". And I was kind of
confused because I had thought we were "dating". Also, sometimes I
will do something nice for her like bring her a biscuit in the
morning before school starts, buy her a drink if she has no money.
And she will say, "You're so nice, I'm glad your my "friend", or
something to that affect.
Now it has been about a month since I first met her and we are
hanging out more than ever. She invited me over to her house to eat
dinner, and she goes with me about everywhere. She calls me every
night and sometimes in the morning as I'm getting up. She is always
talking about how much we have in common, and how were almost like
"brother and sister" (I don't know what that means). I'm tired of
having to correct people when they call her my girlfriend. I like
her as a girlfriend, but I'm confused of how she likes me.
Thanks for your time Rob,
Me
Hi Me,
It’s obvious to me that you haven’t yet had a girlfriend.
So this is what you do… stop talking to her. Not in a mean way but just in a
“I’m busy and I’ll call you back” type thing.
Depending how she reacts will tell you if she wants to be your girlfriend or
if she still thinks of you as a “brother”. (“Brother” means that she’s
waiting for her ex-boyfriend to start dating her, usually!)
Don’t be confused, a lot of guys get caught in the middle of women (of all
ages) play with their (ex-)boyfriends and get burned in the process.
You make her chase you a little bit, not talking for all hours on the phone,
walk-by hellos in the hall at school… just play loose and don’t hang on
everything she does.
If she is ready to date you, she’ll get real angry that you’re ditching her…
if she doesn’t, well you never had a chance and she was just killing time
with you until her ex-boyfriend came back to her.
Best wishes,
Rob.
Dear Reader,
Over the years I've had the opportunity to read many "self-help"
books that deal with a variety of situations that occur between men
and women. Please take a moment and visit these suggested websites, where applicable:
For Women
For Men
* Rob is not a professional counselor, just
someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and
should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. He'll
give you the best advice his experience allows. And you'll have
someone that'll listen to your troubles without being too
judgmental. And if you don't like his answers, just delete them! *
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