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How to be the guy women love!
I get a lot of emails from guys
who read my articles that say things like...
"I'm sure what you're saying is right, but I don't want to be a jerk or an
a**hole to women..."
"I have seen what you're talking about happen all my life, but I'm a 'nice
guy' and I want women to like me for me..."
...and...
"This doesn't make sense..."
I'd like to address these ideas.
Up until about 5 years ago, I was THE nice guy of nice guys. As a matter of
fact, when I first made the decision to learn how to be successful with
women, this actually created an obstacle for me.
Let me explain...
Because I believed that "being a nice guy" MUST be the way to success with
women, I ACTUALLY COULDN'T EVEN PERCEIVE ANY OTHER WAY.
In other words, I could see a situation where a woman was attracted to a
mean, abusive guy and think to myself that either she must be screwed up in
the head, or THAT THE GUY MUST BE REALLY NICE TO HER THE REST OF THE TIME.
As you probably know, it's hard to convince a person to believe something
when they already have a belief about the topic. The person that you're
trying to convince just uses whatever you say to convince themselves that
they're actually right... and you're wrong.
Well, I did the exact same
thing.
No matter how much evidence I found to the contrary, I still somehow
believed that being a "nice" guy, buying women flowers and gifts, taking
them out, and generally letting them be in control of the relationship HAD
to be the way to attract them.
Well, after continuing along the same path and getting the same results, I
realized something that literally
changed EVERYTHING for me.
I realized that JERKS do, in
fact, attract hot women.
Selfish behavior, as unhealthy as this might sound, often makes women feel
attracted to you.
Sarcasm, ball busting, playing hard to get, and all kinds of other
"illogical" things really do work when it comes to attracting women.
But then I had a dilemma...
I love the idea of being successful with women, but I HATE the idea of
mistreating people, being mean to them, lying and misleading, etc.
Deep down, I want to be a good guy.
I decided that there MUST be a way to make this work, and to attract women
without being ABUSIVE.
The good news is that THERE IS a way.
But it requires that you put aside your current ideas for just long enough
to entertain some new ones.
First, let me say that I believe I've found a way to take the things that
JERKS do to attract women and use them WITHOUT THE ABUSE. When you learn to
do this, you can really have the best of both worlds... you can be nice to
women on your own terms, and give them what they REALLY want, and what
REALLY attracts them.
So WHY DO WOMEN BECOME ATTRACTED TO JERKS?
The short answer is that they don't CHOOSE it, it's something that just
HAPPENS.
ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE.
It's an emotional response to certain things.
Women don't CHOOSE to feel the emotion called ATTRACTION for jerks any more
than YOU choose to feel the emotion called ATTRACTION for young, beautiful,
hardbodied women.
Nature has pre-programmed MEN with a mechanism that works like this:
SEE HOT WOMEN ---> FEEL ATTRACTION
Well, women have a similar mechanism. But I think that the female version is
MORE COMPLEX.
Yes, women do feel attraction for extremely handsome men... but they feel a
MUCH STRONGER ATTRACTION for certain PERSONALITY TRAITS and BEHAVIORS than
they do for physical looks alone.
So again, the short answer is that it's just something that "happens" inside
of a women. She doesn't "choose" it.
So what is it about the "jerk" that creates this powerful, uncontrollable
ATTRACTION inside of women?
Let me answer first by telling you what IT'S NOT:
It's NOT the abuse (not usually anyway). I don't believe that women are
attracted to that abusive, mean, negative part of the "jerk personality".
I think that jerks JUST HAPPEN to also possess several ATTRACTIVE qualities
that are SO POWERFUL that that they literally make women BLIND to the
abuse... women will rationalize and excuse the abusive behavior because they
are so attracted to these other qualities.
Here's a PARTIAL list of what creates that ATTRACTION:
-Unpredictability
-Uncontrollable
-Challenge
-Dominance
Of course, there are many more, but this will get us started for this
discussion.
The qualities I've listed above, when presented correctly, trigger the
natural "attraction mechanism" inside of women.
Jerks have taken natural qualities that are ATTRACTIVE to women a little
"too far".
But because they're still there, the qualities trigger the attraction
anyway.
So what does this mean to you?
Well, the most important thing is that it means you can still be a good guy
and attract women at the same time.
You're probably going to have to learn how to flirt in a different way,
become a little more comfortable being challenging to women, etc. But in the
end, you'll find that this will get you what you want, and still allow you
to treat women well... all on your own terms.
It also means that instead of being the guy who women talk to about their
relationship problems, and how their mean jerk boyfriend is being abusive
again... you can be the guy who they're dating and sleeping with!
Yes!
This weekend I'd like you to think about what I've said here in this
article.
Think about how you can cultivate the four qualities that I've mentioned
above into your personality.
See if you can be a little less predictable.
Don't let outside events or women control you.
Be more of a challenge.
Stop being submissive... and get in touch with that side of you that is more
dominant (I said "dominant", not "domineering").
And if you haven't had a chance to read my eBook and listen to my Advanced
CD Program, then I HIGHLY recommend that you do that as well.
My eBook "Double Your Dating" is the foundation for everything that I teach.
In a few hours of reading time you can learn all about my basic theories,
plus get dozens of great techniques for meeting and dating women. You can go
download it at:
www.doubleyourdating.com
- just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy.
...and read it, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
David D.
P.S. As you can probably imagine, I get a TON of email... So if you'd like
to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate
all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your
stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the
specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in
different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of
the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're
from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@doubleyourdating.com (c) 2006 David DeAngelo, All Rights Reserved. By
accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional
advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold David
DeAngelo harmless. http://www.doubleyourdating.com
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