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Breakup Letters To Get Him/Her Away From You Fast!

Here’s the scenario:

Broken HeartYou've dated.... You thought he/she was a good catch and now (for whatever reason or maybe for no reason at all) you want to end the relationship.

But how do you break the news gently to that person that was once so special?

We say "Who Cares?"

Do it fast, spare no feelings. Just like tearing a band-aid off your arm, do it quickly with no regard for how it will feel. The only people that need to be let down gently are rock climbers and only when they are on the side of a cliff!

Tell them you're breaking up in one quick motion using any one (or more!) of our suggested "Break Up Letters".

Guaranteed to get your point across with a maximum of heartache (theirs, not yours) and a minimum of involvement (yours, not theirs).

The rule is "Your breakup conversation should last less than 10 seconds" and we are here to make the rule stick!

Dear XXXX,

I was having an off day when we met. It got worse when I thought that you were someone special, someone that I could learn to love.
Now I know better. It’s not only your feet that smell.

Please don’t email me, call or write. Ever.

Dear XXXX,

When we first were going out everything was a lot of fun.
Now I realize that I was the fun person, you are just a jerk.
Goodbye forever.

Dear XXXX,

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You’re the jerk my mother warned me about,
And I’m breaking up with you too!

Dear XXXX,

I really liked the time we went for that long walk, the park was so quiet, so solitary.
Now I realize that I should have left you there.
Don’t call, don’t write, I have a BIG brother.

Dear XXXX,

You’re just the kind of person….. someone could easily forget. And I’m gonna try starting now.


Dear XXXX,

You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny.
If you shaved your butt and walked backwards you’d still make an ugly dog. Your personality doesn’t make up for your face.

Dear XXXX,

The less I see of you the more I like it.

Goodbye forever!

Dear XXXX,

There was a time when all my friends told me what a jerk you were, how it was wrong that I was wasting myself by being with you.
I hate it when my friends are right.

So long jerk-face!

Dear XXXX,

There was a time that I thought you were “The One”. I was wrong, it wasn’t a “1” (number one) it was an “L” for LOSER.

See ya later, loser!

Dear XXXX,

I bet you thought that this day would never happen, that I’d give you your walking papers and I’d start out on a new page, full of promise for the new relationships that I will have after leaving you.
Well, buddy, it started last month…. Sorry that you are so wrapped up in yourself that it took you this long to notice it. Before you find a new girlfriend, get a grip on reality, the world doesn’t revolve around you!

Goodbye Mr. Not-wonderful!

Dear XXXX,

I once saw a car accident where the driver of one of the cars was decapitated and the head was in three pieces. That person was less of a wreck than you are. Consider me gone before I’m your next victim.

Dear XXXX,

Do you remember last week when we went out to dinner and when I went to the ladies room you started hitting on the waitress? Well, she doesn’t want to see you again either!


Dear XXXX,

I know that I smoke, I drink and have other bad habits. Starting today I’ve decided to clean up my act and the very first thing I’m going to do is have a better class of boyfriend.
You’re out!

Later Loser!

This article is © 2004-2008 cheerful attitude web design ltd., and Robert Lee. It is available for reproduction in any format and for posting on your web site or for use in your newsletter as long as you maintain this copyright notice and send an e-mail to reporting your use of this article prior to publication.


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