We are all afraid of rejection. Women and men both have a great fear of
not being able to connect to another person, finding and keeping a hold on
that one special person we hope will want to share our lives.
There is a dating style (that which is what is used when we want
to find a suitable person to settle down with) is common but not
very understood even as it is used by women.
These are called "tricks" and "games" by the guys that are
totally unaware to the purpose of dating except for charging their
way forward to the end of the night "score".
Women understand the "dating game" much more. From the beginning
of the date to the last (maybe) kiss of the night, there is a
schedule, a timetable, for the date to go from friendly and social
to hot and sexually exciting.
But I digress.
No matter how many studies appear, I am willing confirm that
rejection controls the timetable of events that will happen during
the freshman course of dating (the first 6 dates, give or take 2).
The fear of rejection has the control of this timetable. A death
grip on dating.
"What if he doesn't call me?", and "When should I call him" are
fears brought up because of the fear of rejection.
You can control these fears and you should use his same fear of
rejection to control events in your dating schedule right down to a
Let's start with how you talk before the first date even happens.
This is the communication stage, pre-date.
You will be exchanging text messages, email messages, maybe have
some instant messenger chats and even phone calls. There is a common
mistake that women make that allows the guy to control the vents,
pre-date, and after you do start seeing each other. This involves
how you communicate and what is said by what types of communication.
Let's start with text messaging.
Text messages should always, from the woman's viewpoint, be a
first message or a reply for him to call you. so you can talk, and
not text. Texting is overused and should be limited to you saying to
him "Call me so we can chat".
Texting, because of it's limiting factor of interpreting
what is said, because you cannot hear how he says something, forces
you to add emotion to the text, rather than hearing the emotion in
his voice as he talks with you. That's why texting is bad. You need
to hear his voice so that you do not need to add this emotional
element. So you are not guessing (fantasizing) how he is saying
something to you.
Body language is an "attraction factor" that involves how a
person is standing, sitting, leaning. How they look at you, whether
they are involving your whole being in the conversation or the guy
is just staring at your chest.
None of this unconscious behavior can be found when texting, so
by telling him to call you right away, in a reply to a text message
from him, gives you the advantage of hearing how he talks.
Also, by switching from a text message conversation to a voice
conversation, you will know that he's actually giving you his full
attention and not just sending you a few words in-between something
else he's doing at the same time.
And I will give you one more secret to controlling a guy's
behavior when you first start dating and using text messaging:
Always reply to his text message like this: "Hi
Mike, I am a bit busy right now, can you call me at _(some time in
the future)_, so we can talk?"
Communication Rule: Give the guy an exact time
to call you.
If he does not call you exactly at that time, do not pick up the
call when your phone rings. Let it go to voice mail and call him
back in an hour, or the next day. Do not "jump" when he calls, you
need to make him wait if he does not call exactly when you tell him
to. This control of communication method increases your value as a
date because he will be chasing you to talk, not you chasing him. He
will be afraid you are rejecting him and he will do what you say,
when you say it.
This is important to remember.
Never, ever, reply to a text right away and also
never, ever, continue the conversation through texts. You should be
able to demand his full attention when he wants to communicate with
you and, as well, you should be able to control when you have a
conversation with him.
Your time is valuable so you should be controlling how you use
it. The guy needs to follow these rules of communicating with you,
when you make these rules part of your dating life.
To summarize what we learned in this article:
- Both men and women are afraid of rejection
- This fear of rejection can be used to control dating
- Communication, in person, or on the phone, is the best type
of communication, do not use text messaging or email to be used
as the primary communication method
You might want to check out what could be the world's best collection of ideas, strategies, insights and research on the subject of how to avoid the Big Mistakes, and other big mistakes in my ebook, "Catch Him And Keep Him".
It's full off specific ways to communicate with a man that will instantly amplify the attraction he feels for you and help move things quickly and smoothly from "casual" to "committed" in no time flat.
I've spent the better part of the last year making sure my ebook will give you REAL WORLD ANSWERS and solutions to the things you're dealing with when it comes to men.
You can start by watching this video.
Thanks for reading and best of luck in life and love.