Is He Interested In Me?
And does it matter that it seems like he's just playing games?
How can you tell when a guy is really interested in you and not just “playing”, not trying to score some action instead?
When you first show interest in a guy, initially, he’s going to do one of two things, and only two things:
- Show reciprocal interest
- Reject you
That’s right, those are the only two things you can ever expect from a guy when you first show interest in him.
Now, everyone knows what to do if he shows no interest in you, if he rejects you:
Leave him be.
If you still go after him you’re going to either waste a lot of time and find that, should you turn him around and start to date him, the chase was a lot more interesting that the catch, or;
Leave him be and find a guy that really does like you, a man that shows interest in you.
And how will you know if he’s interested?
There are no simple answers to this question, but there are clues you can look for and decipher:
- He calls you first, does not wait for you to always call him
- He likes to show you off to family and friends
- He includes you in plans with his friends ‘automatically’
Now, the really important tips, if he’s interested in you the first time you meet:
- He asks for your name
- He offers a small compliment
- He looks you in the face when he talks to you
- He replies with proper answers to your questions, not changing the subject
- He asks more about you than he talks about himself
- He doesn’t try to introduce another guy into the conversation so he can leave
- His eyes don’t wander around the room
- He doesn’t give another woman the ‘once over’ when standing by you
Guys are often ‘pack animals’.
They start in a group and as they fix their target (the woman) they start to separate themselves from the pack. They may try to corner their target to force conversation on her. If given the OK they will try immediate small physical contact (brushing her hair, steering her with his hand on her arm or shoulder) to ‘spread their scent’ of the score. Once the OK moment has passed they may return to the pack with phone number or email address in hand. And start the process all over again.
This is not a guy that shows genuine interest in you. He’s a player, starting and ending with his pack, trying to outscore the other ‘pack-men’.
This type of behavior may even occur when a man is alone, without his group of friends. This is known as “lone wolfing’.
Pack behavior can be identified usually with:
- His ego outdoes his conversation capabilities
- He’s trying too hard to act natural, watching your moves to try to prepare his next action
- He tells you that he’s into ‘hooking up’ not dating seriously
- And other pointers that show he’s into ‘women, just not you in particular
To sum up, when a guy is interested in you, he puts himself on equal terms with you, he chooses to include you with his plans, no matter what they are, he focuses his attention on you not on the other things around him.
Of course, all that
being said you want to go slow. His interest in you shouldn’t turn
into something that brings out jealousy in him, trying to control
you. Involvement with his friends should be equally fun as being
with your friends, he shouldn’t try to exclude parts of your life
before the two of you got together.
His interest in you should be for you alone, consistent involvement with your interests.
You’ll be able to move your relationship forward from here on, as you see fit.
When you’ve caught the guy that’s interested in you it’s time to see whether or not he’s worth keeping.
If you’ve read the book “Catch Him & Keep Him” then you’ll have
the tools to tell where your relationship will be headed. If you
haven’t read the book, the time is now.
Read more information about the book and download it here
To your future,