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 Christian
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This Article: Once you’ve
shown interest, if the guy doesn’t ask for a first date you’ve got a
decision to make: Do you ask him or don’t you?
When you’ve got yourself together, you’re confident with who you are and
what your goals are, there usually comes along a guy that you really have
interest in.
When you’ve got it together your dateability naturally increases along with
your self-confidence.
You get along well with him, some simple flirting, he seems to like to flirt
back... but he just doesn’t take the next step and ask you for a date.
Why?
Are you somehow responsible for the guy not taking the bait?
Are you really just turning him off, the exact opposite of what you’re
trying to do?
Stop right now and go over the interactions you’ve had with him.
Take a minute, I’ll wait...
Now that you’ve done the memory replay game let me ask you a question:
Do you feel confident that it’s not anything you’ve done?
You’ve showered, dressed well, been careful with the makeup and perfume…
You’ve openly flirted with him… shared small smiley moments…
When the guy doesn’t ask you for a date even though you’ve shown interest in
him and he has responded positively, you can be sure that you’ve crossed
paths with a “predictable man”.
Men are stupid, for the most part, as far as dating goes.
They want friendship but can’t understand when a woman wants to start a
serious relationship. Even when you’re already friends.
The ‘predictable man’ just is scared enough of women that he lacks the
‘natural’ self-confidence that many men have around women. I’d place a big
bet that he has had an overbearing mother or a strong-willed older sister.
This type of man wants, even needs, to be led through the steps of any
relationship that has the slightest hint of being more than friendship, of
being sexual, because the values that have been instilled in him allow for
women to be treated as if he was the bull and the woman was the china shop.
Fear of upsetting her, of pursuing a wrong course and feeling guilt for his
own emotional feelings. Fear of just being wrong around women.
So, what are the steps you need to take to get this ‘great catch of a man’
to ask you for a date.
Or even, do you throw yourself into the ring and ask him for a date first,
because he won’t?
First off, the correct steps to take:
1. Continue with the simple flirting, don’t turn it sexual, that type of
hint will certainly be mistaken and you’ll feel cheap. Mix your flirting
with also being intellectual, smart women earn respect and attraction from
the men that are worth catching
2. Create opportunities for small talk, relax him into conversations that
include shared hobbies and activities, hint of places that you could go to
together, not as a date but simply as going together somewhere to do
something you both like
3. Don’t get involved with “complaining talk”, either yourself or him.
Opening up about troubles is a sure way to not move into more of a serious
relationship
4. Avoid predictability. Change your schedule every so often from when/where
you usually meet him, share moments. Unpredictability is a great method of
him actually missing you and looking forward more to spending time with you,
perhaps even on a date
5. Challenge him with questions about the type of women he respects, not
dated, about how he handles disappointment, how he deals with his own
issues, without being judgmental
If the above five steps to help him to ask you for a date haven’t worked,
and you know he’s not dating someone else, (or even married!) you may have
to take the bull by the horns (or the guy by the hand) and invite him to a
date.
When asking him for a date because he won’t ask you first becomes necessary
you’ve got to remember, it’s still a first date. Follow the first date rules
carefully. (If you forget what the first date rules are, you can read them
at the end of this article.)
Be bold and calculating, after all, you know this guy, use that knowledge to
invite him on your first date to a place, a venue, that he cannot readily
say no to.
If he does say no, move on quickly. There’s no use trying to convince him
more, you’ll just wear yourself out.
And use this experience to really sort out for yourself what a ‘great catch
of a man’ really is.
If you’d like a head start on understanding how to find, and keep, the man
that’s up to your standards, it’s time to read ‘Catch Him and Keep Him – A
woman’s guide to finding Mr. Right… And keeping him for good!’
Click the link to read some samples and join the free newsletter
CatchHimAndKeepHim.com
First Date Rules For Women
1. Keep the date in a public place
2. Tell a friend(s) where you’ll be, with who and how long
3. Call your friend when the date is over, letting them know you’re safe and
home
4. Limit alcohol and other intoxicants, staying sober is best
5. Keep the date to a specific time
6. No complaining about work, people, family issues, that’s certainly a
turn-off and won’t result in a second date
7. Mid-afternoon is the best time for the first date, after lunch and before
dinner time, schedule accordingly to meet up somewhere or be picked up
8. Dress appropriately
9. Be fun and cool but not adventurous
10. Thank him when the date is over
First date rules for guys on this page.
Thanks for reading and best of luck in life and love.
Your Friend,
Robert Lee
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