A Shocking Revelation Changed the Way I Approach Women
by Jay Julio (Cool Guy With Women)
Before I knew anything about the Dating Game or women's highly sexual natures, I heard the strangest confession of a co-worker which, at the time, shocked me...
Literally, I was speechless. I mean, this story really blew my mind!
It was like nothing I'd ever heard before.
In fact, it did more than that — it completely defied and altered my entire concept of reality... and especially about women.
The world of sexuality was flat no longer.
See, it was my first revelation into how you can use eye contact to signal interest to women.
And I'm not just talking interest here — but much, much more!
I'm talking about how you can use eye contact to communicate your intentions and have a woman read them and respond to what you want just through your eye contact ALONE.
This is all 100% non-verbal.
So let's rewind...
Twenty-Some Years Earlier
It was broad daylight on a regular week day. The sun was shining and the world was going about it's regular business.
My co-worker, who we'll call Mandy, was walking down a sidewalk.
As she approached an intersection, she happened to make eye contact with a man sitting in his car at the stoplight.
When their eyes connected, something was communicated and mutually understood or acknowledged between them.
He didn't just use eye contact to signal interest. He used it to communicate something only about ten times more powerful.
We'll call whatever that was a mystery for the moment.
But here's the result of whatever it was that was communicated...
Mandy turned down the side-street of the intersection and continued walking.
When the light turned green, the man also turned down that same street.
He drove past her, then parked a few yards ahead of her.
Almost as if it was planned ahead of time, when she reached the car she opened the door and got in.
I don't remember what was said — if anything. Perhaps a simple introduction. But I think they just got down to business as soon as possible...
Boinking each others brains out, that is.
And when they finished, she got out and continued on with her day.
No Tricks, No Gimmicks, No Pick-Up Lines
Just EYE CONTACT to signal interest!
Does that story sound unbelievable?
Could it be that simple?
I mean, doesn't a guy have to be really smooth?
Doesn't he need all the right techniques and all the right lines?
Is it really possible to use just eye contact to signal interest or anything else to women? Or anyone else for that matter?
I assure you, it is.
It's just that few guys know how to use it. But by the time you're done reading this, you'll know exactly HOW TO do it.
Now, I've had some interesting similar eye contact experiences with women, though nowhere as "extreme" as the guy in my co-worker's story.
But things like making eye contact with a woman a block a way, then holding it for about 30 seconds — until moving into earshot to finally say "Hi!"
I've found that leaves an infinitely better impression on a woman than any pick-up or seduction technique out there!
Just eye contact to signal interest in getting to know her.
No over-the-top routines or lines to impress her — just being genuinely open to her as another person, who you're attracted to, and then saying whatever comes to your mind IN THE MOMENT.
So the question, my friend, then is:
How do you learn how to use only eye contact to signal interest?
And in such a way that not only does a woman expect you to talk to her, but would actually be slightly disappointed if you didn't.
How does it work?
And more importantly, how do you develop this skill-set?
For most, it's possible to develop it within a matter of weeks... perhaps even within days, if you surround yourself with a lot of people and work at it.
HOW TO: The Eye Contact to Signal Interest ARC
Okay. Here's the good stuff:
There are 3 major phases when it comes to using eye contact to signal interest.
Together, these phases follow a natural process, which all us humans unconsciously act upon... or in other cases, unconsciously "short-circuit".
In fact, once you know them, you'll start seeing it happening everywhere.
And not only that, but it is my suspicion that using this kind of eye contact to signal interest to women is how women KNEW which men to mate with before we developed language.
And just because we have language today HASN'T changed that process.
Now, the ONLY reason I've broken them up is because I've found that it can be much more effective to concentrate on and master each individual phase one at a time rather than trying to perfect the entire process in one shot.
This allows you to pinpoint where you need the most practice.
And once you've mastered each individual phase, it becomes easy to put them altogether in one flowing, seamless "experience".
So what are these phases to use eye contact to signal interest to women?
Here they are:
1) Spot her Acknowledgement
2) Look for Recognition
3) Establish a Connection
If you're out on the street, it can make it easy to remind yourself using the acronym: ARC.
Good. Now let's move onto the specifics...
#1: Spot Her Acknowledgement
Unless you're in a highly populated location, whenever you and a woman come into a proximity where you can visually see each other,there's going to be a moment when she becomes aware of your presence.
This is ACKNOWLEDGEMENT.
And it can be anywhere from blocks away to a few meters, depending on the setting.
The point of the first phase is to notice the moment she acknowledges or becomes aware of your presence.
Because in that moment, she's going to respond to you unconsciously. And when you train yourself to become aware of that moment, you can often get a decent gauge on how she's receiving you by noticing how her body changes.
In that moment, what do you notice?
Watch her eyes.
How does she respond when she looks at you or in your direction?
In the past, have you even paid attention to this?
If you haven't, here's what you need to work on:
Start giving more attention to how YOU respond to her presence at the moment you see her!
This is the 1ST CRITICAL POINT.
Do you get nervous? Uncomfortable? Excited?
If you respond in any uncontrollable way, not only is she likely to notice this, it's actually going to prevent you from being receptive to her.
And that will send her a subtle signal that you're not a guy she'd be interested talking to.
So the key is to be aware of your attention, what you're experiencing, and how you're responding when you notice her. And ideally, you want to be unaffected by her presence.
For as long as you don't unconsciously react in some strange way — for example, if you don't quickly avert your eyes, start looking all over the place, or any other weird response to seeing an attractive woman — she's going to see you as a regular guy, who may be a potential mate.
See, women notice guys who remain completely unaffected by their presence.
And the effect?
She's going to immediately feel comfortable and safe with you.
In fact, unconsciously, she thinks:
"Most guys get all weird around because I'm a hot chick. But this guy is as cool and calm as a midsummer night. But I wonder... will he keep his cool if I make eye contact with him?"
So what does she do?
She looks directly at you.
#2: Look for Recognition
Now, this is the point where the actual eye contact to signal interest comes into play.
This is the point of RECOGNITION.
It's that moment where your eyes connect for the first time and you both KNOW without a doubt that the other is aware of your presence.
And something very powerful is communicated here that can and does affect the direction that the REST or your interaction (and perhaps future relationship) will go with her.
This is the 2ND CRITICAL POINT... looking at her and making direct eye contact.
Before we go further, think back for a moment...
Recall the very last time you were in the presence of a smoking hot babe. How did you make eye contact?
Did you make eye contact?
At any rate, HOW did you respond to just the thought of connecting eyes with that hot chick?
Did you feel like avoiding it?
Did you look at her, but felt "shifty"?
Or did you stare?
If you did any of these or just felt uncomfortable with it, in the future and especially when you get to the point where you can remain unaffected by a beautiful woman's presence, here's EXACTLY what I want you to do:
FIRST, think about looking directly into HER left eye. Don't look, just think about it for a brief moment BEFORE you actually do it. Imagine her left eye and picture the pupil.
SECOND, as soon as you've got a clear mental visualization of it, look at her and seek that eye like a homing torpedo. Go straight and directly for it, without "looking back"... literally.
Why do you want to visualize it first?
Because if you've found it difficult to make direct eye contact with a stranger who's an attractive woman, guess what you're unconsciously thinking?
You're probably making a mental picture in your mind of avoiding eye contact!
And it really can be amazing how just a second of mental preparation can cause you to look her directly into her eye.
But don't just take my word for it. Try it for yourself.
So there you are, looking a woman directly in her left eye and she's looking right back at you.
#3: Establish a Connection
Just continue looking... and looking... and looking.
It's okay, she's not going to bite you. And she's not going to think you're weird... unless of course you're staring right through her.
So do your best to wipe every other thought from your mind and focus on that eye as clearly as you can and then think this thought, almost as if you were asking her directly:
"Well, you have my attention, so how are you going to respond?"
While you're focusing on her left eye, leave that question in the forefront of your mind... and WAIT for her response.
That's it for now.
Just remain in the moment and wait.
This is the moment of establishing a CONNECTION.
It also happens to the be 3RD CRITICAL POINT.
For if you look away now, it's over. You will have just destroyed the beginning of that possible connection.
Now, I know there seems to be a strong tendency in most of us to feel like we HAVE TO say something.
But you don't.
Instead think of it like a game and she understands the rules, which are simply this: the person who responds first loses and then has to give their chips to other person.
So just keeping looking.
I mean, what do you got to lose, anyway?
For the outcome is where you'll use your eye contact to signal interest. In fact, by continuing to look her directly in the eye without breaking the silence, you're saying, "Are you interested?"
And she's thinking, "Hmmm... this guy's interesting."
So assuming you followed the other phases well (you remained unaffected by her presence and you calmly and surely looked her dead in the eye), the only thing you can do "wrong" now is look away.
Now, what she'll do is one of a few things:
1) She'll break the eye contact by looking down and away.
If she does that, continue looking at her.
Chances are, she'll regain her focus and look back up again shortly afterwards. And then it's time to finally break the silence by saying, "Hi."
After all, she revealed her interest first by looking away and then back again. She's probably more of a reserved or "shy girl".
And her looking back means she's welcoming you breaking the silence.
Then, once again, WAIT for her to respond.
2) She'll continue looking at you and she'll break the silence.
When she does this, she's throwing her cards on the table by revealing she's interested in you by volunteering to break the silence first.
After all, if she wasn't interested, she would just look off to the side or somewhere else without losing her focus.
She doesn't have to say anything. So if she does, she's obviously open to a conversation.
And chances are, she's your "normal", friendly kind of chick.
3) She'll continue looking at you expecting you to say something.
When she does this, she's obviously open to a conversation, but she's going to let you lead.
What often happens in these situations is that she'll slow down and orient her body toward. It's as if she asked you a question and she's expecting you to reply, but you're taking your time.
All you gotta do is say, "Hi."
She says, "Hi."
And away you go using some of the other conversation tools you can learn about in my other articles.
It really is THAT simple. In fact:
Mastering the Simple “Hi” is All You Really Need
You want to know the truth?
If you're just focusing on learning how to meet women, you don't need any techniques or routines.
In fact, you may even find that they distract you from ACTUALLY approaching or talking to women.
You may find they make you even more nervous... after all, now not only do you have to approach a woman, you have to perform for her.
You have to "get it right".
That's all nonsense.
As far as I'm concerned, pick-up lines, memorized routines, and other geeky pick-up gimmicks are generally garbage.
You want to meet women, right? And you want them to find you attractive, yes?
ALL YOU HAVE TO IS MASTER THE SIMPLE "HI".
It's not rocket-science.
It's more about first using your eye contact to signal interest and making a connection than anything else.
Any quality woman will find that TEN TIMES more attractive than any pre-planned, scripted approach you can find.
Think about it...
Here’s Why It’s So Important to Start by Developing Your Eye Contact to Signal Interest...
The reason may be obvious.
But the problem is that it seems to be SO obvious that some guys have a tendency to completely overlook it...
After all, if you don't make eye contact and establish a connection, you won't even get the opportunity to use any of the other stuff you've learned about attracting or dating women.
And on the other hand...
If you don't make eye contact and establish a good connection before you open your mouth and speak one word, it's been my observation from personal experience and watching other guys that she'll be something like 75% less likely to reciprocate (with the exception of having a calming, controlled voice).
But with so much information, it can be easy to get ahead of
ourselves, can't it?
I understand that. I've done it.
But now that we're on the topic of using just eye contact to signal interest and since you're still reading, I'm guessing you have some trouble in this area or, at least, you could use some work, so here's what I recommend you do RIGHT NOW:
Drop everything you've been learning about attracting and dating women... and concentrate FULLY on getting to that connection phase, where a woman basically, though non-verbally, invites you to talk to her.
Start practicing my ARC phases until it becomes a seamless experience for you.
So whenever you spot a woman anywhere, think ARC.
Then do it!
In fact, practice it on EVERYONE who crosses your path.
And when you've mastered it, then — and ONLY THEN — get back to learning more about attracting and dating women.
Yet another way to get ahead even faster is to download yourself a copy of my eBook, Cool Guy with Women.
When you order it, you'll also receive my bonus eBooklet that's specifically geared at expanding this topic and breaking it down in more detail.
You know this is an area you want to master, so I strongly recommend you do yourself a favor and download the ebook right now. You can be reading it in just a couple of clicks.
"Cool Guy With Women" teaches you the FIVE key skills you need to take your eye contact to the next level with some simple exercises you can start practicing today.
And as always, you're more than welcome to discuss this further in the Cool Guy Forums and get my personal input on applying these principles better in your real life situations.
I look forward to meeting and talking with you in the forums.
See you there soon.
Copyright 2008 Jay Julio. All rights reserved.