Dating After Divorce: Confidence Tricks To Attract Women After Your Divorce
Your Guide To Quickly Getting Back Into "The Dating Game" After A Divorce Or Breakup
By Ken Kennedy www.Double Your Dating.com
If the thought of getting "out there" and asking an attractive woman for her number or email literally scares the pants off you, then you MUST learn my 3 step technique to get ANY woman's number.
Do you feel like your confidence has
taken a hit from your divorce?
Do you feel like you've "lost your edge" and maybe don't have what it takes anymore to go out and confidently meet new women?
Does it feel just too painful to even CONSIDER getting out there and trying to start a new life for yourself?
If so, then I can tell you from my own experience, that you're not alone. I remember times in my own life when I spent a lot of my time alone because I just felt like I couldn't handle the possibility of rejection, of putting myself "out there." And after my divorce, I always wondered if women would want to date a man my age or with my baggage (my ex, my kid, my alimony/child support payments, etc).
The good news is that I discovered (through lots of painful trial and error) an easy way to put myself "back in the game" without risking potentially painful situations.
In a moment, I'm going to share with you a secret to get your confidence back, it's a "trick" you can use for the rest of your life to take your confidence to higher and HIGHER levels - in every aspect of your life and in every interaction you have with the people around you.
And that's a good thing - not only because confidence feels GREAT but also because it's the #1 force to attract high quality women into your life.
HOW DIVORCE KILLS THE CONFIDENCE OF MAN
You've probably heard the statistic:
Divorce is the second most emotionally traumatic experience in life, right next to the death of a loved one.
So let me start off by saying we as men coming out of divorce have every right NOT to feel confident for a good long while.
I mean, you just came out of a DIVORCE - the woman that you pledged your love and eternal devotion to, whom you thought you were going to spend your life with "happily EVER after"... just drop-kicked you to the curb and hopped in her shiny red sports car and sped away. How good could that really make you feel?
And even if YOU were the one who initiated the split, it's still a real loss with real PAIN that can do real DAMAGE to your confidence.
Here are just a few ways divorce can mess with a man's confidence:
-The loss of a relationship you hoped and expected would last a life time. GONE forever.
-Your ex's constant assaults on your self-esteem, and the feeling that no matter how hard you tried it was never enough for her. Translation: she told you over and over again that you were a loser... and you started to believe her.
- She cheated on you. Period.
- She does everything in her power to kill the love and respect your kids have for you, like limiting your access to them... and God only knows what she's telling them about you when you're not around.
- The financial turmoil divorce creates with lawyers' fees, alimony, and child support all adding up to a hell of a lot of money sucked out of your budget
- The guilt of divorce if you were the one who initiated it. If you have kids, this guilt is 10 times worse.
OK, so if you're NOT feeling any of these things and you already know that you can confidently walk into any situation and pick up the woman you want quickly and successfully, then you can stop reading this right now and go give yourself a pat on the back, Mr. Superman.
But if your divorce has put a leak in your self-confidence, then you need to learn exactly how I overcame my own confidence issues with a technique that I've seen hundreds of other guys successfully use.
IT'S OKAY NOT TO BE EMOTIONALLY READY
Some guys write in and say, "But Ken, I'm just not in a good place. I'm recently divorced and just not quite ready to be 'out there' yet."
I think most men feel guilty or embarrassed if they're not quite "emotionally ready" to date again after divorce. Like they're less of a man if the divorce has kicked them in the ass and really screwed with their heads.
But the fact is, emotionally recovering from a divorce can take some time. Don't take this fact PERSONALLY.
Divorce can humble the strongest man, so if it's humbled you or is humbling you right now, hey, you're in good company.
In fact, for most guys it's actually a SMART thing to have some "down time" to recuperate after divorce. Statistics show that men typically start dating again after divorce sooner than women but that these "rebound relationships" usually fail, which does even MORE damage to your confidence.
So if you're a little hesitant about getting back "out there," that's actually a GOOD sign.
Many men rush out and start looking for a woman who is the exact OPPOSITE of their ex.
But they don't notice that these new women who are so different than their ex also come with a whole host of behavioral and emotional problems of their own... just DIFFERENT ones than your ex's.
Here's one other quick point to consider:
If you're in the middle of divorce negotiations and your ex finds out you're dating someone new, my own personal advice to you is WATCH OUT.
"Hell has no fury like a woman scorned."
HOW LONG SHOULD YOU WAIT?
If you're reading this right now and you're thinking that it all seems to much, you probably want to know how long is "normal" to wait before diving back into the dating scene.
I wish I had some magical formula for figuring out when the time is right… but there's simply not.
Only you can decide when that time is. My advice is that it's OK to WAIT, and don't judge yourself for it.
But if your waiting period is long, say more than 12 months, ask yourself if perhaps you're prolonging your transition time due to the normal fears that all men experience about dating.
What I'm trying to say is that dating process is full of fear for just about EVERY guy. It won't become less fearful the longer you wait.
Don't use your divorce as a PERPETUAL EXCUSE not to face your fears about dating.
If you're doing this, realize it... then move forward.
THE SOLUTION TO JUMP STARTING YOUR CONFIDENCE
When I first got divorced, I felt like the typical "fish out of water." I had been out of the dating game for so long, I had no reference point to figure out how dating worked any more.
Because it had been what felt like a lifetime since I had dated, I had very little confidence going in.. and what confidence I DID have I soon lost when my first new dating experiences ended in fiery crashes.
Here are 2 tips I learned from the experience of nursing my own confidence back to health:
#1 First, don't make it harder by being hard on yourself.
If you're like me, you have a little "gremlin" inside your head who loves to continually criticize what you do, how you don't measure up, why you have it bad, how someone is more deserving that you, etc.
In other words, he loves being hard on you.
And if you don't "tame" your gremlin, that little bugger will keep your confidence down in the dumps. (Richard Carlson wrote a great book called "Taming Your Gremlin," and you should check it out.)
SO WHAT if you don't have rock-star confidence right now. Take it easy on yourself. Don't judge yourself for it or over analyze what's going on (God knows there are probably enough people you know who are already doing this analysis for you...).
Just be with how you are right now. Accept it as it is right now, and realize that with time you will get your confidence back.
Things are always in motion, and life happens in cycles. Nothing is ever constant or at rest.
"This too shall pass..." I've found this to be true both for the good times, AND for the bad times.
#2 Second, when you're ready to meet women again, make sure you know EXACTLY what it takes to attract women - and the one thing that will actually REPEL women more than anything else.
You know what it is that repels women more than any other?
Most men coming out of divorce have "I'm needy" tattooed across their forehead. Women are much more tuned in to what is going on beneath the surface than men are.
If you're feeling needy and insecure, most any woman you approach will see that INSTANTLY and go running in the opposite direction.
Have you ever met or dated a woman that you just KNEW from the first meeting, had some personal "baggage" to deal with, a woman who appeared to be outgoing and secure, but you just KNEW deep down was the kind of needy person who would always look for your approval?
How did you feel about this woman?
Did you like the fact that she had some 'issues'?
Or did her clingy neediness make you want to ask for the check and make a quick exit?
Well, that's how she's going to feel about YOU if you're not careful.
So how do you move from feeling alone and "needy" to being in a place where you are confident and secure both inside and out?
AN ABUNDANCE OF RESOURCES.
In the dating world, if you don't want to come across as needy (even if deep down you really are NOT needy), it really helps to have more than one woman in your life.
And the more women you have in your pipeline, the less needy you'll be.
You'll find that the more women you have around you, the EASIER it is to keep attracting even more.
Women like to be around a man who is "in demand". They figure if other women think he's hot, then he must be hot.
I recently read that certain female animals make their mating decisions entirely by finding the male with the most females around him. There's a lot to be said about "social proof" and "group think."
It seems that us humans are wired to use other people's decisions as a SHORTCUT to making our own.
APPROACHING WOMEN INCREASES CONFIDENCE
One short-cut to boosting your confidence in women is learning how to approach them.
There's A LOT to this, but here's something that will get you going:
1) Understand that when you learn to approach women in random places (coffee shops, gas stations, book stores) you IMMEDIATELY put yourself above 95% of other guys on the face of the planet, at least in her eyes, because 95% of guys can't approach. It's a skill worth learning.
2) Come up with a sincere compliment you can use for just about any woman you meet. The compliment must be on a woman's beauty, energy, vibe, etc. No compliments on purses, shoes, cars, or anything impersonal. "Excuse me, I don't know exactly how to say this, but you are absolutely beautiful" worked fantastic for me for years. Think of you're own.
3) Do "hit-and-runs" with every attractive woman you see. Walk up, give your compliment, then say bye and leave her to bask in the glow of your random kindness. Don't ask for her number or email. That's why I call this the hit and RUN.
4) Practice maintaining eye contact during the interaction.
5) After you do this 20 times, then you can add basic small talk after the compliment (you're name, where she's from, what she's doing, etc).
6) After 20 more time - or sooner if you're comfortable - end every approach by suggesting, "Nice meeting you.
I should get your number before I leave," or something similar.
Developing your ability to approach any woman, any where is one of the most powerful things you can do to boost your confidence with women.
EDUCATE YOURSELF ON ATTRACTION
Perhaps the most important thing you can do to get your confidence back quickly is to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you.
Here's some quick facts:
1) Women don't feel attraction for guys because they're nice.
2) Women don't feel attraction for guys because their boring and predictable (although most guys are).
3) Women don't feel attraction for guys who communicate they have lower STATUS than them.
If you're trying to attract women by being extra nice to them, you're headed in the wrong direction. Being nice may work in marriages, but it doesn't work in the dating world.
What works in the dating world is challenge... humor... confidence... composure... etc.
To get all the details and learn more tips about having unstoppable confidence with women... PLUS discover a simple move that will drive any woman CRAZY anticipating your first kiss... just go here and watch this video
To your success with women,