Dating After Divorce: The Secret Reason Women Hate Nice Guys
Your Guide To Quickly Getting Back Into "The Dating Game" After A Divorce Or Breakup By Ken Kennedy www.Double Your Dating.com
Lots of divorced men struggle with women because they never took the time to learn the simple, easy way to make women feel a deep level of attraction.
I just had a very interesting conversation with an attractive woman. She's the kind of woman most guys would LOVE to meet - tall, blonde, piercing blue eyes, works out every day, intelligent, fun personality... she even likes to let loose and have a drink or two.
We were chatting, and I asked her to talk about some of the guys she's been dating lately.
With a little cajoling (and a drink or two), she finally submitted and spilled the beans about an interesting guy she met online the other day.
I want to share the details about him because if you pay attention, these details could shatter your most deeply held convictions about what makes a woman feel ATTRACTION for a man - and specifically, what it takes for a woman to feel deeply attracted to YOU.
So, back to the guy this woman has been dating:
- He's just getting over his divorce, and he appears at first glance to be quite the "catch".
- He's good looking - tall, fit, with model-quality looks.
- He's intelligent, financially successful, and the V.P. of a billion (that's billion with a B) dollar corporation.
- He's got the big house on the lake with the maid's quarters... the Ferrari and BMW parked in the driveway... the whole nine yards.
- Not only is he good looking, smart, and a financial success... he's also got a talent for music. Apparently he plays a mean guitar. Sings, too.
- Oh, and she also said he's an all around very nice, very pleasant guy to be around.
Now, if you were in a woman's shoes (you're not really in a woman's shoes right now, are you?), you'd probably say this guy was just about as perfect as perfect can get, right?
A guy like this is probably a slam-dunk in just about any woman's book, right?
Would you be surprised if I told you that my female friend said that this guy just didn't "do it" for her, despite having all the outward stuff that's SUPPOSED to drive a woman nuts?
It's got nothing to do with his looks, smarts, or money. In fact, my friend said she loved all that stuff about him.
But he did something... something you might do in the future if you're not careful... that turned her off BIG TIME.
In fact, it turned her off so much that she was literally repulsed by him.
And like most guys in his situation, every little thing he did to try to dig himself out of the hole... ONLY MADE THINGS WORSE.
In a minute I'll tell you what he did, why it turned her off, and how you can avoid the same mistake.
TURNING WOMEN OFF AND NOT KNOWING IT
Have you ever been with a woman you liked and wanted to see again, but when the two of you talked you never got the sense she was that into you?
And the worst part about these situations is that you usually have no idea
of how to make that spark happen.
You know it's not there, but what in the hell are you supposed to do? If you knew it you'd be doing it, right?
I had this exact feeling of frustration on my very date after my own relationship ended.
I met a woman online, and I thought taking her out for a nice dinner sounded like a great idea.
I knew of this local high-end sushi place with a cool vibe, and we met there.
As we started chatting, I realized very quickly that she was attractive, intelligent, and had a fun, witty personality.
But something was missing from the conversation.
I didn't know why, but I was getting the sense that she just wasn't that into me.
In fact, each time the waiter came over to drop off another course, it seemed that HE had better luck flirting with her than I did.
That's right, I was upstaged by the WAITER.
Talk about embarrassing.
Definitely not cool.
Not only was I not doing what I needed to make her feel it for me... but the process of trying to figure out what I SHOULD do felt like WORK.
After I walked her to her car and she drove off - no kiss, no nothing - I remember saying to myself, "This dating stuff is hard..."
WHY SO MANY GUYS GET IT WRONG
When most guys get out of a serious, long term relationship, they think that in order to have a woman like them they need to be "nice" to her.
Mom told you to be nice to women. Be a good boy. Be a gentleman. Treat women nice. She's a good girl.
We hear this so much it gets ingrained in our minds, and unless we have strong male role models to show us the folly of this warped thinking, we go on into adulthood thinking that this "works."
Well, it doesn't. Eventually a woman BORES of the whole nice routine and leaves. And if she's a high self esteem woman with experience, you won't even get past the dating phase.
The women we get in relationships with teach us to be nice too. We get kudos when we behave ourselves, be considerate, be attentive, and all that other bullcrap that does nothing but shrink your two testosterone production facilities until they look less like brass balls and more like shriveled up RAISINS.
Like I always say, relationships and dating are as different as NIGHT and DAY.
And when we take the lessons we learned in a relationship - like being
considerate, attentive, and sharing power - and apply them to the DATING
you get your ass handed to you on a silver platter.
In fact, what most men do is take the behaviors that DIDN'T EVEN HELP in the relationship, and try to make them work in the dating world.
Talk about a recipe for disaster.
What you need to do is focus on BUILDING ATTRACTION.
Not having her "like" you. Not having her think you're a great guy.
You want her to FEEL IT for you.
And being nice DOESN'T HELP.
In fact, it's one of the BIGGEST reasons men screw up their chances with
women - especially guys who are coming out of a marriage and are "freshly
to behave in this emasculated way.
Does a woman WANT you to be nice?
That way you're a well-behaved boy-man who is predictable, and who doesn't have the ability to arouse strong and dangerous emotions inside of her.
But what she NEEDS you to be is a man that can create that magical feeling of ATTRACTION.
Attraction is what a woman NEEDS.
But it's a dangerous thing. Because women will do all sorts of crazy things when they feel a powerful attraction toward another person.
They'll lie, cheat, and steal just to be with that person.
They'll do things they'd never do in a million years.
They'll become a DIFFERENT PERSON...
But being nice doesn't make women feel this.
We think that if we're on our "best behavior" that it'll make a woman like us more... but in reality it's secretly TURNING HER OFF.
And then we makes things WORSE...
We get the sense that it's not working... so we wrongly conclude that we
must not be being NICE ENOUGH...
but in her head she's BEGGING you to please please please just stop whatever it is you're doing and do something DIFFERENT.
Stop being nice!
Case in point:
That female friend of mine? Who was dating Mr. Ferrari?
She told me that he would do all sorts of "nice"
- he'd call her just to check up on her, and let her know he was thinking of her
- he'd give her plenty of compliments every time they hung out together
- he was always apologizing, thinking he was doing things that upset her when they didn't
- he never disagreed with anything she said
- he let her know he admired her for all she had accomplished in her career.
- he even made her a mixed CD with a bunch of her favorite songs on it.
Sounds pretty great, eh?
Well, here's the problem:
The entire time he was doing all these things, what she was thinking in her
head was, "Please stop all this crap! Stop trying to be Daddy! Stop being
supportive! Stop calling all the time! Stop apologizing!
And stop the mixed CD's for crying out loud! Just be cool with me. Keep your cool and stop freaking out!
Be a man!"
But of course she couldn't TELL him that.
Because it's a man's job to know this ALREADY.
A woman doesn't want to have to educate you on how to get in her heart (or in her panties for that matter...)
You need to already know it.
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO INSTEAD
Let me share with you a simple tip that will get you started in the right direction.
If being nice doesn't work to make a woman feel attraction for you, what does?
Well, almost anything you can do BESIDES being nice will work a million times better.
What about doing the opposite of being nice? What about being a jerk?
You're getting warmer... but let's not go overboard.
There IS a role you can take on that's very different than being nice, but that doesn't go to far and become downright mean and ill-spirited. I call it "The Playful Jerk."
He's not REALLY a jerk, but he plays one on TV.
He acts the role of a jerk but in a playful way where a woman knows he's not a complete asshole, but he's using humor in an edgy, jerk-like way without actually BEING a jerk.
Let me explain...
Where the Nice Guy gives a woman compliments, the Playful Jerk busts her balls.
Where the Nice Guy acts interested, the Playful Jerk acts like she's just a friend.
Where the Nice Guy puts the woman in the driver's seat, The Playful Jerk is the leader of the interaction... and the woman is in for the ride of her life.
There's a whole philosophy behind The Playful Jerk, but a good way to start developing this part of your personality is by messing with women. Bust their balls. Be sarcastic.
Mess with them.
The problem is that most guys don't do this stuff with women...
especially women they're attracted to.
And if you've just gotten out of a relationship and you're confidence with women isn't exactly at an all time high, teasing women like this may not naturally come to mind.
GET OVER IT.
Practice bring out the "Playful Jerk" side of your personality right from the get-go.
Don't let the conversation stay normal too long before switching it up.
Give an over-the-top compliment that can't be real but keep a straight face....
Call her a dork or a brat...
Accuse her of stepping over the line and trying to seduce you in some way...
Find something she did that you can complain about and take it to the EXTREME.
Keep her on her toes... and you'll keep her interested.
Of course, there's a hell of a lot more to it, but this should get you started.
And if you can see that being a Nice Guy hasn't been helping you, and you want to learn how to quickly build ATTRACTION in almost any woman you're interested in, then you need to get a new type of education.
An education that will get you back in the dating game fast, and will provide you a LIFETIME of success with women and dating.
It's as simple and straight forward as that.
Get all the details (and learn a simple move that will drive women
CRAZY anticipating your kiss) just
watch this video
To your success with women,