Dating After Divorce
Your Guide To Quickly Getting Back Into "The Dating Game" After A Divorce Or
Breakup
By Ken Kennedy
www.Double Your Dating.com
This article: Getting back into
the dating scene and making your first date successful, despite your
nervousness.
Ken Kennedy:
It doesn't take a genius to figure out it's probably been a good long while
since you had a date.
Right?
Look, the simple fact is that you're rusty because you've been out of the
game for a long time, and you're going to completely HUMILIATE yourself on
your first date or two unless you get some help.
Sound extreme?
OK, OK... let me re-phrase that:
"Your chances of making a woman feel that feeling of ATTRACTION for you on
your first date are very low...
unless you get your head on straight, which I'm about to show you how to
do."
Is that better?
Wonderful.
Listen, getting back into the dating scene after not meeting or being with a
woman other than your ex for God-knows- how-long is HARD and PAINFUL... and
nowhere is this more true than on your VERY FIRST DATE.
I remember when I got back into the dating world, my first couple of dates
were DISASTERS.
I remember feeling like I pretending to be someone I wasn't... and I was
afraid that eventually she'd figure this out and also figure out that I had
no clue what I was doing...
excuse herself to use the little girl's room, and never return....
leaving me with the check - and a bottle of red wine to finish all by
myself.
It never turned out to be quite THAT bad, but I do remember driving home
after those first few dates and feeling like I just had the wind knocked out
of me.
I felt disappointed. I had wanted the evening to go well and add some
excitement to my life... but all I felt was sad and alone.
In fact, I felt MORE sad and alone after those uncomfortable first few dates
than I did BEFORE them.
It's embarrassing to admit, but I guess I felt sort of hopeless.
If this was dating, I didn't want any part of it.
Then of course, things would get WORSE:
The next time I saw an attractive woman, the first thought in my head would
be "Why even bother trying to talk to her? She'd probably just reject me
like the other one."
So I started putting a shell around myself so I wouldn't feel like such an
idiot again.
Weeks passed... I'd begin to get a little bit of my confidence back, and I'd
start to pursue a woman I really liked... but because I was SO out of
practice by this point, I'd fail miserably... and EMBARRASS myself in the
process.
Which put me right back in my shell again, etc, etc.
Can you see now why so many guys get stuck in an endless cycle of failure
after a divorce or break-up?
I don't want this to happen to you. In fact, the whole reason I'm "talking"
to you right now is to make sure it doesn't.
Whether you already had your first date and it turned out to be a complete
fiasco, or you haven't yet and you want to be sure it goes extremely well,
I've got what you need to know.
In a moment I'm going to share with you a CRITICAL tip that'll give you the
power to impress ANY woman you go on a date with.
But before I do, I need to share with you a couple of important concepts
that'll help you get 300% more out of the strategy I'll share with you in a
bit.
DON'T BE NAIVE
Most guys who haven't dated in a while indulge in the naive assumption that
dating is easy these days and that everything will go just fine without any
mental preparation on their part.
Yeah, right.
Then they get fed to the lions, and limp home with their tail between their
legs.
But I know YOU are different.
You know how I know?
Because you're reading this right now, which means you're looking for
information on how to improve your situation.
You understand it takes preparation, and that there's stuff to learn that
will give you a MUCH better shot at success.
A SCARY QUESTION
Let me ask you a question -
If you had a date TONIGHT with an incredibly attractive and downright SEXY
woman, would you be ready?
Would you think, "Alright! Bring her on!"?
Or would you feel at least a twinge of nervousness, and have just a sliver
of doubt that you may not be able to pull it off?
Again, the fact is that you're looking for info - that's why you're still
reading this - means that you realize you're not 100% ready... and you need
some additional strategies or ideas.
So let's get into the meat and potatoes, shall we?
FIRST... THE BAD NEWS
The bad news is that women are like 9 times better than men at figuring out
the emotional state of the person they're talking to.
What's so bad about this, you ask?
Well, for the guy who's getting back into the game after a long hiatus -
that's YOU - if mentally you don't have your game plan all sorted out, you
have doubts, and you're feeling like it's the first game of the season and
you haven't practiced all summer long... she's going to know.
In other words, if you're feeling insecure - she's going to know.
If you're nervous, she going to know.
And if you can't stop thinking about what her breasts look like under that
silky blouse of hers... she's going to know.
You need to get your head on straight - and it's more than just calming your
nerves and not thinking about sex for 2 1/2 hours. (Is that even
possible???)
MORE BAD NEWS
When you meet a woman face to face, she magically forgets about all your
previous charm and personality.
You may have gotten her number by luck, you may have impressed her on the
phone because you have a natural knack for it... but when you meet up face
to face it's like starting COMPLETELY OVER.
None of what you said to her before matters.
All her previous feelings toward you instantly disappear the moment you
start talking to her on the date.
You're starting over from scratch.
And at the end of the night, she decides whether she'd like to see you
again... or if she's going to go home with you...
... or if she's going to vanish from your life forever.
So, yes, the first date really is that important.
WHAT MOST GUYS DON'T REALIZE
Most guys are so worked up about how they are going to "perform" on a date
that they look at things from exactly the WRONG perspective.
They worry about their receding hairline, their growing waistline, their
conversation skills, difficult questions about their ex that she may ask,
etc.
The question is... why?
Why do guys freak out and act unnatural and stilted and nervous when they're
with a woman?
Here's my 2 cents on the subject:
How we feel in any situation is caused by our thoughts... in other words,
our MINDSET.
So if we're feeling nervous, there's something about our mindset that's
causing it.
What's the mindset of the typical guy on a date for the first time in years?
Here
it is in a nutshell:
"I need to somehow impress her with who I am so that she'll want to see me
again."
It's this mindset of wanting to IMPRESS her and get her to LIKE YOU that's
the cause of the problem.
Women HATE IT when a guy they're with tries to impress them.
It's the opposite of being "cool and confident,"
and it's a huge turn-off.
A lot of guys try to impress a woman by talking
about themselves a LITTLE too much.
They'll throw in the occasional comment about the expensive car they drive,
or the expensive trip they took, or the famous person they've met.
But do you know what a woman thinks
when she hears you heading in this direction?
"Why is he trying to impress me so much?
He must be either insecure or just really materialistic. Or both. What a
bummer - I thought he was cooler."
So when you say - "I got in an accident and my BMW is in the shop."
She hears - "My car is the most important thing in my life. I have no room
for you."
When you say - "A friend of mine knows (insert here the name of some famous
celebrity)."
She hears - "I'm so insecure that I get my self-worth from the people my
friends know. I'm pathetic."
When you say - "I'm working on a real big project at work."
She hears - "I'm narcissistic and don't give a rat's ass about the big
project YOU are working on. I'm all about me."
As you can see, women analyze everything to death.
Yes, it's a royal pain in the ass.
And yes, you have to deal with it.
Listen, I know it's tempting to let her know about the great things you've
accomplished.
But if you do, she'll she you as just another loser like 99% of the other
guys she's dated in her life.
Bragging doesn't help you build ATTRACTION.
It FEELS like it should, but it doesn't.
Trust me on this one...
Same goes for trying to impress a woman by being extra "nice.
Sure, be a gentleman - open doors for her, pull out chairs, etc. - but when
you barrage her with compliments, put yourself down in an attempt to be
humble, and agree with everything she says, you KILL ATTRACTION.
You BORE her - and you can't bore a woman and make her feel attraction for
you at the same time.
Plus, tripping over yourself to be nice communicates that you've put her up
on a pedestal, which gives her all the power and makes you lose "status" in
her mind.
Again - deadly for attraction.
A woman wants a man who will make her feel different, make her feel
something out of the ordinary, something exciting.
When you try to impress a woman, you do the opposite - because you're doing
exactly the same thing that every other guy tries on her.
Think about it.
But... what would happen if you STOPPED putting pressure on yourself to
"impress" a woman, and instead you saw her as just one woman in a long line
of many more to come into your life?
What if you saw the next 10 women you meet as nothing more than "practice
material" for you to work out the kinks in your game?
What if you saw the next 10 women you meet as part of your "learning curve"
that every guy has to go through after a long relationship ends? And that it
doesn't matter how it goes with any of them so long as you pay attention and
LEARN?
If you feel nervous, it's because you're coming from the place of wanting to
do things "right"
so you IMPRESS HER.
When you let go of the need to impress her, you'll feel much more relaxed
and you'll enjoy yourself more. That's when you'll make the impression
you're looking for without even trying.
WITHOUT EVEN TRYING.
It's a paradox - but THE WAY TO IMPRESS HER IS TO STOP TRYING TO IMPRESS
HER.
Try this attitude on for yourself - put don't put pressure on yourself to
get even this "right."
If you do, you'll put yourself right back in the same mental trap as before.
If you still get nervous and slip back into "trying to impress her" mode, no
worries - just catch yourself, take a deep breath, and re-focus on sincerely
enjoying the evening without concern about impressing her.
And if you're reading this right now and you're saying to yourself, "Man,
I'd love to have first dates where I'm relaxed and confident and I don't
have to worry about what she's thinking of me," then you really need to take
a look at my eBook "Dating After Divorce."
It's the most comprehensive book available with this single, lazer-like
purpose:
To teach men who are coming out of a divorce or long term break-up how to
regain their confidence, start meeting women again, and enjoy a level of
success with dating that they've never experienced before.
Whether you've been single 3 days or 3 years, this book will give you an
in-depth education on how trigger a gut-level feeling of ATTRACTION deep
inside almost any woman, and take your "game" to a whole new level.
To get all the details... and learn a simple move that will drive a woman
CRAZY anticipating your kiss...
just go here:
www.Double Your Dating.com
To your success with women,
Ken Kennedy
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