Carlos Xuma Says...
Pick-up advice for men by Carlos Xuma based on 'The Dating Black Book'
Do you know about the RULES for women? Do you want to know how to counter her tests and games? Do you know where to touch women to give them the chills and turn them on to you?
Continue reading and you will.
Do you know how to interpret a woman's questions and interests, and turn them in your favor?
Do you want to stop shooting in the dark with your dating and finally get some understanding of women?
Some real tangible results? It's tempting to wing it. It really is. Some guys think that they'll "Figure women out" when they get to a certain point, except that point never comes.
Different women seem to want different things. (Or maybe they're the same things?) It's too damn confusing. It doesn't have to be anymore. THE DATING BLACK BOOK breaks this strategy down in its entirety, from preparing to meeting to passing their tests. It's the most complete strategy out there. I'll even tell you how to interpret their behavior and figure out which kind of woman you're dealing with - and most importantly, how to avoid the bad ones.
I am a recent subscriber of your E Book, Really Interesting and Useful and also give me confidence and Positive thinking, Thanks a lot...
I am a Clerk in an independent Convenient store in Fl and I have a lot of Chances to meet girls in the stores until now I've been a very nice person thinking that that will attract them and I can find someone good, but It lead me to Disappointment and I am tired of trying that I have Implemented your Advise and working on which is Really working , But I don't have the proper words or Ideas to Flirt with them. Everyone comes to the C store are good and I have a good chance to meet and I don't wanna loose it, Please give me some Ideas , suggestions to flirt and how to talk to them.
And also I am New to this Country and State and Culture So kindly give
me your valuable advise.
S from FL
Answer - Here's what you do:
Sit down with a pen and a piece of paper. (Or do this on your computer, if you want to feel "high-tech").
Take 5 minutes to list all the situations you find yourself in with a woman on the job.
1) Buying a coffee
2) Buying gas
3) Using the restroom
Now what could you say in each situation that would be "flirtatious"? (Or, as I preach, teasing...)
1) Coffee: "Hey, you know I heard that drinking too much coffee in the morning could make you drive too fast. Do I need to alert the highway patrol?"
2) Gas: "Are you the one driving the Ferrari? The Porsche? The Lamborghini? What? You don't have an expensive sports car that breaks down every 10 miles? I'm afraid I can't serve you." With a smile.
3) Restroom: "Watch out for the monkey," you say as you hand her the key. She'll either look at you weird or say "huh?" You say, "Yeah, just ignore my pet monkey. I keep him in there to keep the bathrooms clean, but he usually just sits in there and reads comic books." (If she doesn't laugh, pause quietly and say, "I was kidding. Lighten up.") With a smirk.
I just made those up in a couple minutes. Freebies.
Also, watch a little of the trashy television programming we have here in this country. I don't usually recommend this, but since you're new here, it will allow you to pick up on the quirks and humor in our culture. Consider it a graduate class in American pop culture.
Pick up a few of the magazines on the shelf there and use the headlines as flirt tools. "Do you think Ben Affleck should just drown Jennifer Lopez and get it over with? Aren't you tired of hearing about them all the time?"
Now you do the work you need to and memorize them, and invent at least a few of your own. Try them. If they work, keep 'em. If they don't, chuck 'em. Your words will always work better when you're not afraid to use them in a way to get her attention and to attract her.
Trial and error, and you'll get to the goal.
But do the work you must to get there.
I may have gotten your ebooks too late, I have already made some mistakes. I have an emotional investment (I know, mistake, I got the ebooks too late!) with this girl I met online back in december and we've been on 4 dates now recently, the past 4 weekends. But I am fearing becoming a "best friend."
She was doing the "I think it was meant to be that our paths have crossed" thing but things aren't moving along during dates, physical contact has been limited to minor hand holding a just hugs. I think she's starting to see me as her best friend, and I have no interest in this. I need to somehow send her the message that I'm not interested in being friends, I only want a relationship.
I think I'm going to take a significant risk soon and do the first kiss thing, I think that's the only way I can send this message of I don't want to be best friends, do you agree? Can you think of another approach or test?
I am having a very difficult time being "funny" for her. She has a typical female "silly" type sense of humor that is politically correct and doesn't cut someone down. I'm a corporate america type humor guy, which is male dominated and completely based on cutting people down, ripping on other people, and humor at the expense of others.
I know from your audio coaching and just common sense so I bite my lip anytime I think of something funny to say because its always a "slam" joke and girls hate that. The net result is that I'm not funny for her, the silly thing doesn't come naturally for me but I can learn quickly. Are there some books you could recommend for me that have tips or can advise me on how to be "clean/silly' funny for girls?
Thank you for any of your suggestions in advance.
First of all, it's NEVER too late. It's only too late if you never LEARNED anything from the books.
"Too late" thinking is scarcity thinking. And I'll caution you the way I would any other guy - don't place too much importance on ONE woman. It's distorted thinking, and it perpetuates the belief that there are only so many women in the world you'd be able to be with. There are MANY, and that will open up for you now that you have the e-books.
I think you're right that you didn't amp up the charge between you two at the start. You're in danger of becoming terminal "friends."
If she's talking romantically, but not taking any action or there's a lack of fire and heat, this is usually the case.
If you haven't done so, you need to start increasing the charge between you right away. Start with some nice teasing and joking with her. Get her out someplace fun and non-standard. (Drop the dinner and flowers thing if you've even gone there.)
The Dating Black Book is for the guy who wants the whole dating
scene explained, and all the inner-workings of the social dynamics involving his interactions with women.
It's available here
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