
Carlos Xuma of
Dating Dynamics author of 'The
Dating Black Book'
ALPHA ISN'T BAD
There are a lot of guys out there sending conflicting information
regarding what it is and isn't to be "Alpha."
As in "Alpha Man" or "Alpha Male."
Let's start right off by saying that "Alpha" behavior is NOT bad. It is
NOT what you see animals doing in their nasty time in the zoo. It's NOT
attacking a tribe and killing all the young, or any weird stuff like
that.
Look, "Alpha" just means the dominant male (and sometimes the female) in
a group. It's the one that is most likely to procreate and get its genes
into the next round of the "Keep the species alive" game. So it really
does make sense to get successful with women if you think about it like
this. If you don't find a woman to mate with and create little teeny
versions of you, then it all ends with you.
Do you deserve to have your genetic legacy carried on into the next
generation? I hope so. And more importantly, I hope you believe so.
So don't listen to a lot of this garbage and double speak out there
regarding "Alpha Men" and what they should or should not be.
Here are a few things an Alpha IS:
- Clever/smart/cunning
- Ambitious
- Excited
- Honorable
- Dominant (not aggressive, but demonstrating superior social skills)
- Stable
- Fit (healthy lifestyle)
- Curious
- Balanced
- Natural
Now those are the things that make up a good lifestyle. In my e-books, I
cover these, as well as the real-life exercises required to succeed in
life.
Here are a few things an Alpha is NOT:
- Aggressive
- Angry at women
- Verbally abusive
- Arrogant
- Obnoxious
There seems to be some confusion (and most of it is created by other
guys hoping to cash in on your confusion) about what it means to be a
STRONG and persuasive man in today's society.
I'm not even going to throw you more of that evolutionary stuff because
it really doesn't matter. When you think about it, it just makes sense
that we want people who appear or demonstrate more social value than us.
It's because we naturally want to latch on to their power.
Again, it all comes back to power. So being an "Alpha" doesn't mean
you're dragging women back to a cave.
Or that you're being an aggressive, pushy jerk.
Or that you're being forceful and mean.
Or that you're inconsiderate.
Or that you're acting like a brutish animal.
It means that you understand the basic primal reasons a woman is
attracted to a man, and you're not afraid to BE a man. Not a cardboard,
one-dimensional wimp that's afraid to let women know he desires them.
You see, there are only two motivating forces in life:
Desire
and
Fear.
That's it. We are motivated purely by what we feel we WANT, and what we
feel we most want to avoid.
Fear is a stronger motivator for humans because it helped us survive
potentially life-threatening situations. You're smart to fear wild
animals, or large trains heading toward you. You can't afford the luxury
of analysis in these situations. A delay could cost you your life.
On the other hand, in our modern society, there isn't much you need to
fear. In fact, we fear too much already.
And the fear that is most crippling is the fear of LOSS.
Everyone's favorite short green dude, Yoda, even said it
in the latest Star Wars flick...
"Fear of loss leads to the dark side." And so it does.
It leads you down a path where you never gain because
you're too afraid of losing what you have.
An Alpha Man understands that the only way to live is to
wake up each day and understand that everything you have
was just given back to you today. And when he goes to
sleep at night, he gives it all back.
Lose this attraction to your possessions before they
possess you...
Whoah, I'm getting very philosophical here.
What I'm trying to get across to you here is that you
should avoid becoming attached, even to TERMINOLOGY.
When someone tells you that being an Alpha is bad, or
it's this and that, remember that they're trying to
color your perception. They're trying to steer you away
from a path of understanding and enlightenment.
Trust your own intelligence to figure out what an Alpha
Man REALLY is. He's already inside of you. It just takes
a little work to let this instinct out so that you can
become the COMPLETE you.
There are a lot of guys out there who haven't been able
to open themselves up to letting out this TRUE nature
inside them. They hide it behind "Politically Correct"
BS about not hurting other people's feelings, or being
sensitive.
It's really a fear to let other people see the REAL you.
The man that wants to achieve.
The man that wants women in his life.
The man that wants monetary success.
The man that wants power over the forces of life that
seem to control him.
Forget about all this "Alpha" talk and just open your
mind up to finding this part of you that isn't held back
by fear, and is ready to reach out for understanding
that could - and will - change your life for the better.
So on one hand we have the lowly AFC, or non-Alpha. He's
a little insecure, possibly low self-esteem, but WANTS
to grow and change. On the other hand we have the Alpha,
the confident and assertive man with healthy
communication and self-esteem.
There is only one direction of growth here, and it's
from the AFC to the Alpha.
What is the Alpha?
He's a MODEL.
He's the prodigal "seducer," if you will. The Model is
an example that we can use to illustrate the best case
scenario. The Ideal. (Kind of like how Michelangelo's
statue of David exemplifies the perfection of the human
form.)
You see, the AFC can't make a quantum leap and BECOME
the Alpha all at once. It's not that simple. He needs an
idea of what this goal is that he's pursuing that gives
him the result of "I'M SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN." The Alpha
Model provides him with a framework - a picture to draw
in his mind of the attitude he's after.
How does the AFC become the Dynamic Man - The Alpha Man
- then?
By creating a PATH.