Carlos Xuma of
Dating Dynamics author of 'The
Dating Black Book'
Do you know about the RULES for men? Do you
want to know how to counter her tests and games?
Do you know where to touch women to give them the chills and turn them
on to you? Do you know when to touch them? Do you know how to interpret
a woman's questions and interests, and turn them in your favor?
Do you want to stop shooting in the dark with your dating and finally
get some understanding of women? Some real tangible results?
It's tempting to wing it. It really is. Some guys think that they'll
"Figure women out" when they get to a certain point, except that point
never comes. Different women seem to want different things. (Or maybe
they're the same things?) It's too damn confusing.
It doesn't have to be anymore.
THE DATING BLACK BOOK breaks this strategy down in its entirety, from
preparing to meeting to passing their tests. It's the most complete
strategy out there. I'll even tell you how to interpret their behavior
and figure out which kind of woman you're dealing with - and most
importantly, how to avoid the bad ones.
QUESTION:
Carlos!
My man, you rock. I'm starting to understand your material and after
many months of not seeing results, I'm finally starting to get the
attitude I need. I have a question for you. It's a very stupid
question and there's many better questions to ask probably, but here
it goes.
I'm white and I'm jewish and my main passion is rapping in my college.
I'm releasing an album next year. I'm not necessarily "good", but my
lyrics are funny and keep people entertained. The song I am most known
for is a song about a giant blue dick which I have recorded a remix
of. It's hilarious, but quite disgusting. Do you think this is
something that's good for the ladies?
I've found that some girls think it's really funny and more proper
girls don't like it very much, but for some they won't stop laughing.
In general do you think this sounds like a good idea? Most of my raps
are pretty degrading of women and talk about sex a lot, but they're
just like a man tells it. At one party I basically teased this girl
for awhile and told me she'd have to impress me enough to hear me rap
so we started kissing and then she heard it and it got even more
heated, but it hasn't always had such great results. What are your
thoughts?
I know you don't get many questions about this so you gotta answer it!
Holla!
A.T. Rockville, MD
---------------------------------
Got me on that one... I don't get many emails about giant blue wankers.
(Oh, and damn straight! I do ROCK! :)
Great to hear you're having success. The "attitude" takes a while to
create, so keep working it. Once you understand how women and dating
work, there's no going back to old wimpy behaviors.
As for your rapping ...
I'd say that you're going to attract a lot of women who just enjoy
that "taboo" or "forbidden" area where they aren't supposed to be
nasty, but like it. You're also going to get widely varied results.
Each girl's personality will differ greatly in how she responds to
this.
Some women are just going to find it foul and it will turn them off,
and you'll never be able to talk your way past it. (But never be
apologetic for it, either.)
I can't approve degradation of women, so I'll have to advise you that
you do this at your own risk. Entertainment doesn't have to be
insulting or degrading.
You have to know how to read their reaction and play off it to get
where you want to go. There will be "good girls" who like playing with
this kind of "fire", but you're going to have to strike a balance.
Most girls understand that rapping is just an expression, and the
lyrics are just that.
These kind of raps reflect your "I don't need your approval" attitude,
which turns women on, and that's what the women are responding to.
Also, you play on their need to express their dark side. Women often
want an excuse to indulge in things that ladies "shouldn't" like or
want. It's an escape from their repressive self-image as being clean
and pure.
After a while, you'll begin to be able to sense the women that are
looking for this kind of ESCAPE, and you'll be able to provide it for
them. These are the same women who would never dream of having a
"fling," but somehow manage to find themselves in bed with someone
they barely know on their vacation.
*******************************
QUESTION:
I have a question...
There's an amazing girl at work... we went out the other night... and
something unexpected happened... a kiss... now under normal
circumstances I wouldn't mind.... but, she has a boyfriend... so it
kinda surprised me... I don\'t know if it was the heat of the moment
at the club, but in any respect I didn't want that to happen... I'm
not that kind of guy... I don't like to get in the middle of a happy
relationship... ok, the part that I have a question about
she is thinking about breaking up with him... and Im interested...
what should I do to make things go a little smoother with the break up
and go my way... now I don't want it to be a sudden thing... from one
guy to the next... I want to give her time to heal from the previous
relationship...
I told her I didn't want to make things anymore difficult between her
and her boyfriend... but I kind feel played at that same time... like
it was just for the night...
what should i do...???
---------------------------------Well, aren't you the
little opportunist?
You went out, totally respecting this little hottie and keeping your
distance until you two managed to get in a lip-lock. Sure you did.
Not that kind of guy, huh...?
I will say that you are at least honorable for not wanting to
interfere with this guy's relationship. That's commendable in this day
and age where everyone seems to be out for themselves.
But let me tell you this: There is a distinct chance she will not
break up with him until she has a good enough reason to. And that
usually means that she'll need a competing man to step in.
This is good ... and bad.
Good in that she's attracted to you, so you could be that guy.
Bad in that if she is interested in you, she'll probably use you like
a therapist, crying on your shoulder, and generally running hot and
cold, not sure if she's "ready."
But don't feed me that bullsh*t about "time to heal." You've been
reading too many Oprah magazines, chum.
In a perfect world, yes, women would break up with their boyfriend,
then spend one-to-three months in "healing mode," where they sit home
and watch daytime soaps, "Sleepless in Seattle," and "Titanic" every
few days until they're replenished and ready for more romance. They
wouldn't trash some poor "nice guy's" heart because he happened to be
the sorry sack who got her ten minutes after the door hit the last guy
on the ass.
But it never works out that way, dude.
Women will either find a suitable replacement (i.e., rebound) or they
find a few harmless flings to help them through the bad patch. These
guys are like chocolate, sweet to taste, quick to melt away to
nothing. And that's the way they like it.
That's what you probably were to her. A fling. You were a way of
proving to her that she's still attractive. And she's obviously not so
happy with him if she needed to mess around with you.
However, you can make a rebound work. I have several times. Here's
what you do:
Step in and be her knight in shining denim. Help her out of her old
relationship. But don't even think about trying to make a relationship
with her or you'll scare her off.
Basically, all I did with my rebound girl was shake the mattress every
weekend. The rest of the week I was out looking for Ms. Right, until
this girl got her head put back on straight and could "heal." I was
smart enough to keep my distance. About eight months later, she
decided she wanted to be exclusive. I just chuckled and patted myself
on the back. If I'd tried to make a "relationship" with her, she would
have been gone in a New York Minute.
Hey, this girl you want is going to have fun with SOMEBODY. Shouldn't
it be YOU?
Whatever you do, don't think you can just "be there for her." She'll
be off having her fun, and you'll be that poor tool crying in his
beer. This is opportunity, if you play it right. I used to be that
poor tool, by the way. I used to be the Nice Guy who always tried to
help his girl friends out. The problem was that they stayed "friends"
and never became "girlfriends."
I got sick of it. Totally flipping sick of it. And I knew I had to
change things. Have you ever felt like this? That women were somehow
so hard to understand that you almost felt like giving up? If you get
burned, you don't stop playing with matches ... you TAME THE FIRE.
I've talked to guys the world over who have made a REAL difference in
their lives by taking the first step on the right path - learning.
Once you understand, your world opens up.
Ask yourself:
Wouldn't it be great to learn how women REALLY think and work?
Wouldn't it be fantastic to finally put aside your fears once and for
all? Approach women anywhere and anytime? And GET RESULTS with women.
And results are ALL that matters when it comes to the game of
seduction and dating.
I can show you the way to better results and success with women, and
it's all in my e-book - THE DATING BLACK BOOK. You need to download it
from here.
www.datingdynamics.com/ebookstore.htm
You'll get answers to questions like:
... When is a woman playing you or REALLY interested?
... How do you stop being strung along for weeks and weeks by women,
and how do you turn them on to you instead of you being turned into
another girlfriend? ... How do you meet MORE hot women? ... How do you
get them attracted to you right from the start? ... How do you stop
paying for dates that go NOWHERE?
Don't forget - The Advanced Audio Coaching Session 8 is ready NOW to
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"I have already listened to session 8 and once again I think that you
have cut thru the modern myths of talking to woman and revealed more
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The monthly audio series is OVER 100 MINUTES of advice and explosive
tips, and it's available for download here:
www.datingdynamics.com/audioprog.htm
Carlos Xuma
www.datingdynamics.com
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