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Carlos Xuma: Bling Bling To The Boyfriend

Carlos Xuma Says... Persistence is what it's all about Pick-up advice for men by Carlos Xuma based on 'The Dating Black Book'

Do you know about the RULES for women? Do you want to know how to counter her tests and games? Do you know where to touch women to give them the chills and turn them on to you?

Continue reading and you will.

There is no woman out there without her own insecurities and fears. Remember that you have the advantage of strategies and logic on your side, and all you need to do is exercise emotional CONTROL.

"Great work! Since I'm personally involved in the online dating business, I must say I was impressed with the information that you've provided in your ebook. As you mentioned, this is more than just a dating guide - it is a collection of priceless information on how to improve one's life in general. Everyone who follows the instructions given in your book will definitely benefit from it -- a MUST HAVE for all single men out there!!!" - Dusan from Great Dating Services

"Practical dating advice every week! I read your column with great pleasure and try to use the mentioned tactics in my own everyday life. All I can say is - Dating Dynamics WORKS!"


Hi Carlos,
Your book is great; I have a question: if a girl says to you that she has a boyfriend does she mean it or it is just a way to repel a potentially crazy stranger; I was trying to pick up a fine-looking waitress at a night club, she seemed nice to me but when after a friendly small talk I asked her if she would have coffee with me after her shift she told me about her boyfriend. Should I have persisted ?


Persistence is what will always set you apart from the other guys, but it has to be INTELLIGENT persistence.

Here's what I mean.

If a woman puts you off, often times it's because she's not yet attracted enough to you to give you a chance. She's only going to jump at opportunities that she deems are beneficial TO HER. Meaning, even if she has a boyfriend, if she wants you badly enough, she'll go after you. On the other hand, if you haven't proven yourself as a commodity, she won't initially be interested.

In this instance, this waitress has an automatic defensive test against guys that come on to her at work. Frankly, she was probably just being nice to you because you're a customer, and that's what she does for her job. You're just confusing professional politeness for romantic interest.

However, this doesn't mean that you can't turn this into your advantage.

What you have to do is to really turn on the cocky & funny (tease to please) and make sure she knows that you are not just another one of the umpteen billion guys who hit on her every day.

Think about it: She gets guys hitting on her ALL the time. How will she know who to go out with and who to ignore? By how they screen out the riff-raff. The easiest way for her to say "No" without saying "No" is to come up with a convenient excuse why she can't. A boyfriend is the easiest excuse she can come up with.

She may have a real boyfriend, and if she came up with very realistic sounding information about him, it may be true. Still, if you're persistent in a way that does not show you are NEEDY, you can have a shot at her. But if she sniffs out that you're bugging her just because you NEED her, you're out of the running. (Every woman is looking for the next best thing, and if you can prove yourself better than the current guy, you could be in.)

Think about it from her point of view and see what kind of solution you come up with. Also, use the strategies from the section on Basic Psychological Principles from the book, and work on your confidence treadmill. I think you'll realize a lot of benefit from using those strategies.

Next time, a suggestion: Don't ask her to get coffee. Assume she will. (Cocky!) TELL her, "You deserve a nice relaxing break after your shift. I'll tell you what - I'll put a smile on your face if you meet me for some coffee. I'll meet you at 9:00."

Don't give her a choice, or she'll choose the wrong one. Take control... and persist where it makes sense. If you think the boyfriend is real, I'd move on to more available talent.


I like the way you present your ideas, it pretty much clicks with my personal experience. So I thought I could drop you a question, about an issue that really bugs me.

You get the digits from a woman
and when you call her, she won't answer the phone (either ignoring it, or not hearing it, or being busy - you wouldn't know). This kills me, because I don't know when to call again. She does not have my phone no, so when she sees the unanswered call she won't know its me.

What would you suggest to situations like this?


First of all, I'm so glad that my knowledge clicks with yours. I guess that means that I'm on to something, huh? :)

One little precaution to take in advance: Get her email AND her phone number when you first meet her. Then you can email her and find out when she will be home and available. That's all you need to know. If she doesn't answer or ducks you out when you call, give her one or two more tries, then flush her. (Because if she knew you were going to call and then isn't around for it, that tells you right away if she's interested enough or not.)

Regarding the phone call, let's review the possible outcomes. You get her number and call, and she doesn't answer:

1) She gave you the wrong number. Gosh sakes, that's gotta suck. Get right back out there and score some more numbers.

2) She's genuinely not home and you missed her. Again, that's gotta suck. First, block caller ID, just in case. Second, I don't leave a message the first time I call. If you do, you've just handed the reins of control over to her, and you get to sit there and wonder, "Why oh why doesn't she CALL???" And it gets worse the longer you wait. Never give a woman this kind of control. EVER.

3) She's actively screening you out. Once more, that's gotta suck. That means she doesn't want to talk to you. But you can't know for certain because you can't see what's going on the other end of the call. Cure? Go out and get MORE numbers and meet MORE women.

The point here?

Never, EVER, care what the reason is or start to guess at why she isn't answering. It will drive you crazy, and you don't need it. All you can do is eliminate the possibility of her knowing who it is (so you don't have to wonder if she's really not into talking to YOU) and making sure you don't hand your power over to her.

After that, all you can do is try a couple of times to reach her (I always prefer to get a cell phone, because that gets answered more.) If you don't reach her, you move on. Life goes on. There are a million women out there you haven't met yet, so get busy.

Case closed.

Pretty simple, huh?

Oh, and another tip: I only call once every two or three days. No sooner than that, or you'll look like a freak if she gets pissed-off and answers it just to bitch you out for calling all the time.

The real point here is that you need to gather so many phone numbers than no one woman is so important that you worry or wonder why she isn't answering. (I cover this strategy in detail in the e-book.)

Get it?

When you put yourself in a position to worry or think too hard about why this one woman isn't reachable, you have just slipped your balls into her back pocket and given away your Alpha Male power. Just like that.

Always, ALWAYS, always make HER the one to wonder about YOU.

Let me say this again: SHE must be the one wondering about YOU, not the other way around. That's the principle that will either make you a nervous wreck, or a mo-fo that gets the women he wants.

I learned the hard way about this when I'd get all worried about why she wouldn't call me back, or answer my call.

In fact, it infected my whole attitude with women, and before you know it I went from moderately successful dude to frustrated chump.

Then, I saw what was going on. It became so clear that women don't want men who just chase around after them like lost puppies. They don't want "Nice Guys" who give them everything they want. (That's the problem! Most every guy gives a woman exactly what she SAYS she wants!)

Then I started to connect the dots and understand just what was happening and why. I saw through the manipulations, the silent-treatments, the games... I finally understood why they wouldn't call, and what it was I was doing (and NOT doing) to get these results.

Listen to what other people have to say:

"Hi there: So far I am blown away by the The Dating Black Book. My printer is busted so I have to print it at work cause I just can't get enough of it ... I own every program on the market. Yours was my last holdout and the best was last. I find myself quoting you to friends and family often and your take on "reality" is bang on. My problem is if you follow your rules it is like shooting fish in a barrel ... All these chicks wanna have sex the first night..." -G

"Just wanted to drop you a note of thanks for your contribution to males everywhere (if they are smart enough to do something about it). I am reading your Black Book and am finding it quite impressive the more I read it... Your book has loaded my mind with information. I know I will succeed.   I'm getting back on the upward spiral. I'm starting to talk to more women, I'll date them when I'm ready..." - D.M.

"Thanks you so much for your Dating Black Book and Transitions!! I never thought it could be so easy. The tips helped me from next to never getting laid to being a real player with girls. Every man should read it!!!" - F.M.

Download the book, read it, review the strategies, and put it to work for you right away. If you don't feel that it's the incredible, insightful, and invaluable tool I've made it out to be, you can simply ask for a refund.

I'm in this for the help I can give you, educating men to do better in their lives in the one thing that has eluded us for thousands of years - SUCCESS WITH WOMEN.

Is there anything more important?

You see, the first 30-60 days of any dating relationship with a woman is THE most volatile, since almost ALL the mistakes are made here. If you last past this point, chances are you'll be able to keep her for as long as you like.

If you've ever found yourself saying, "I don't understand women!" then this book will finally give you the knowledge you need to finally understand. I'm telling you, it's like getting a book that describes how a certain magic trick is done that has fascinated you for years. You get to peek behind the scenes and learn how things really work.

I remember when this realization hit me, and how excited I was. I stayed up that night writing out how I'd use the knowledge to improve my dating life. It wasn't until years later that I got around to writing the book on it, but I finally did it. And now you can download all these priceless strategies right now here.

Is there ANYTHING else more worth learning than how to be successful with women? If there is, you should let me know...

click here The Dating Black Book is for the guy who wants the whole dating scene explained, and all the inner-workings of the social dynamics involving his interactions with women.
It's available here



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