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Carlos Xuma of
Dating Dynamics author of 'The
Dating Black Book'
Do you know about the RULES for men? Do you
want to know how to counter her tests and games?
Do you know where to touch women to give them the chills and turn them
on to you? Do you know when to touch them? Do you know how to interpret
a woman's questions and interests, and turn them in your favor?
The Dating Black Book breaks this strategy down in its entirety, from
preparing to meeting to passing their tests.
It's the most complete
strategy out there. I'll even tell you how to interpret their behavior
and figure out which kind of woman you're dealing with - and most
importantly, how to avoid the bad ones.
This
article: "Can you be firm and controlled? Or are you
going to break down and treat her like a friend?"
QUESTION:
I've been doing online dating and I'm running into a
problem. I can't keep them straight. I'll ask about some
girl's dog and she's not the one with the dog. Do you
know of a method for keeping things like this straight?
Also , how many times do you email back and forth before
you set up a meeting? Do you ask for pics first so you
don't waste your time? Do you send yours?
Keep up the good work. Alpha seduction is great. Still
working through it because it is a lot of material.
Already started to implement some of it and I already
notice the difference in the way I feel.
G
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CARLOS ANSWERS:
Isn't it great when there are so many women in your life
that you lose track of them all?
THIS is the problem you WANT to have.
Other guys are hating you right now.
You need to create a database with all your information
in one place and keep it with you. Every time you email
a woman (and she emails back), you simply make a note in
your file of her nickname and her important facts.
"Jean - Dog (terrier), Real Estate broker, just moved
here, likes watching Law and Order. Address, phone
number."
If you see her more than once, the important stuff will
start to stick. But it is important not to put facts out
there you're not sure of. "So how's your mom?" "Uh, she
died last year."
Yikes.
Why haven't you gotten the Dating Black Book yet? I
included the Dating Objective Planner in there for you
to track your dates.
I email them NO MORE than once or twice before getting
the phone number. If she balks, she's probably got
issues that I don't want to deal with. (Most women don't
want to be a pen-pal either, so it's EASY to get them to
fork over the phone number.)
And yes, I always ask for a picture before going any
further. In fact, I typically won't email women who
don't put their picture up. Why bother? Most women
without issues will, and you don't have to ask. And ask
yourself why aren't the others putting it up?
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QUESTION:
I am 19 years old and attend a community college. At my
gym there is a girl who works there that I have been
attracted to ever since I joined which was about 2 years
ago. She and I had a class together a year ago, but
didn't talk too much.
Recently when I was working out with my
friend, I ran into another kid I know who also knows a
bit about the girl I am interested in. He says she
doesn't have a boyfriend so my buddy whom I was working
out with says, "Dude you should go for it and ask her to
go to a party with you." At first I was hesitant, but
then I figured what the hell.
So after our workout (this
was last Saturday mind you) I approached her and asked
her how class was going for her this semester just
making small talk. I told her how I didn't really like
my classes too much and then I said, "You know J, there
is a party going on tonight if you would be interested
in going." She said, "Sure, you want to give me
directions and I will see if I can get some people to
go?"
I then said, "Why don't you give me your
number, that way if it is any good I will call you and
you and your friends can meet me there." I tried not to
make it look like I was asking for her number and she
gave it to me. I told her I would call her that night
and she said ok.
I forgot once I left the gym that I had to work till 1.
So, I called Jen at 8 and told her, "I'm going to be
working until 11 but if you and your friends want to
meet for that party after that would be cool." She said
sure and to give her a call and if she wasn't doing
anything she would stop by.
When the time came at 11:15 or so I
gave her a call and she didn't pick up the phone. I was
pretty bummed out. I then had a plan to say to her when
I next went to the gym that I would explain to her that
she should have come and that the party was awesome but
it was no big deal and maybe we could do it another
time.
The past few days however at the gym she wasn't really
available to talk since she was busy doing other things.
Today however she caught me off guard when I saw her at
school and she smiled and say hey to me. I felt the
butterflies in my stomach and I was nervous. I told her,
"Hey you should have camy by the other night."
She said, "Yeah, my friend just got an
apartment and we went up there for the night." I tired
not to look nervous and said, "Well maybe if there is
anything going on this weekend I'll give you a call."
She said ok and we parted our ways to class. Did I do
the right thing?
I just got your e-book and it looks great. I tried to
make it seem like I wasn't asking for a date, but I am
confused about what to do. I won't give up on this one
yet. There is no reason why I can't start seeing her.
Any advice you can give me would be great!
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Good for your friend for giving you a nudge in the right
direction. Most guys would just say, "Forget it... she'd
never go out with you." We should all have a friend like
that who gets us going. And good for you to have had the
balls to go up and do it.
Let's cover the bases on this:
1) Don't worry so much about trying to appear like
you're NOT trying to get her number. If you have a good
enough reason why, and she goes along with it, who
cares? The most important part is that you ASK for it.
2) Let's see. You ASKED her if she wanted to meet you.
"If you're interested..."
It's good that you asked, but you can do this one better
- TELL her next time. Say, "Hey, Karen, when I get off
work I'm going to a party. I'll meet you there at 11:30.
It's going to be FAN-tastic!"
Make it sound like a definite time, not an "IF" time.
Your words have to communicate that it's the best offer
she's going to get this year, and she'd be a fool not to
take you up on it.
3) When a woman says, "give me a call," and if she's
"not doing anything," they really mean this:
"Give me a call" = "I don't want to lock myself in, so I
will try to appear available until the last possible
second."
"If I'm not doing anything" = "if you're the best
option, because I'll always be doing SOMETHING."
The whole phrase put together actually means, "I want to
leave myself open for the most fun I can have without
turning anyone down. If you're the most promising
alternative, you'll be my choice. But you have to really
sound like a great time."
But let's think about this for a second - She's probably
not going to want to take her friends to a stranger's
party with a guy she just met. Think about it from her
perspective.
What if the party was lame?
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