Carlos Xuma of
Dating Dynamics author of 'The
Dating Black Book'
Do you know about the RULES for men? Do you
want to know how to counter her tests and games?
Do you know where to touch women to give them the chills and turn them
on to you? Do you know when to touch them? Do you know how to interpret
a woman's questions and interests, and turn them in your favor?
Do you want to stop shooting in the dark with your dating and finally
get some understanding of women? Some real tangible results?
It's tempting to wing it. It really is. Some guys think that they'll
"Figure women out" when they get to a certain point, except that point
never comes. Different women seem to want different things. (Or maybe
they're the same things?) It's too damn confusing.
It doesn't have to be anymore.
THE DATING BLACK BOOK breaks this strategy down in its entirety, from
preparing to meeting to passing their tests. It's the most complete
strategy out there. I'll even tell you how to interpret their behavior
and figure out which kind of woman you're dealing with - and most
importantly, how to avoid the bad ones.
At lunch yesterday I saw this really great looking
classy girl. She was obviously having lunch with some co-workers, as was I. We
made eye contact a few times and exchanged smiles. How does one go about
approaching her? If she "separated from the pack" I could have maybe done
something. Is this a lost cause for future encounters of this type?
*************
Ah, yes, the old "get her away from the pack" question. This is a common
situation for guys, and it is very daunting at first because of the high
potential for what he imagines would be social embarrassment. To answer one of
your questions, NO, it is never a lost cause. Remember, every situation can be
handled if you stop and think about what makes sense to try. We're human
beings; we're problem solvers.
In the situation you were in, it sounds as though you were given some definite
interest signals. When you make eye contact and get a smile, you should move
in immediately.
- Why? Why not wait until you get a 'convenient' break from the herd?
1) If you wait, you'll end up lowering her interest, because you won't look
self-confident if you wait around skulking on the fringes. The Serengeti is
full of tigers who will pounce on their prey. The longer you wait, the more
she thinks "Wimp."
2) If you wait, you let your LoserBoy start talking to you. He's that voice in
your head that talks to you in order to undermine your success so you two can
sit at home watching "The Bachelorette" and drinking bad light beer. He'll
start to turn you into a chicken by whispering sweet nothings in your ear,
like "Aaah, she's probably already taken," or "She just wants to eat her
lunch, not meet a possibly interesting person." Don't give Loserboy the chance
to start talking.
So, the question remains: How do you butt in without feeling like a schmuck?
You don't say whether she was with male and female
coworkers, but I'll assume the group had more than one female in it. If this
is the case, your best option is always to have a wingman who can break the
ice for you. You get one of the guys in your little group to go over and
pretend as though he knows another girl in her group. (Please choose a decent
wingman for this, too. You don't want anyone to do an embarrassing lead-in.)
You accompany him. While he chats the other gal up, you introduce yourself to
the lady you saw. Say something like, "Hey, you're not going to try one of
those lines on me, like 'what's your sign, baby' are you?" And give a sly
smile.
Remember, always use your friends to help out. You'll be doing them and you a
favor. Chances are, most of them are dying to meet new ladies, and you can
look like the stud who has the balls to go out and get them. Enlist one in
advance and have them ready to fly intercept for you.
You want the dumbest, and easiest
introduction? This one works better when you haven't already made eye
contact, but you can still use it: Bump into her. That's right. Just
walk up and 'accidentally' bump her a little, and then apologize. But
then act surprised that it's her and make a comment like, "You know I
was thinking about doing that on-purpose, but my clumsy ass went and did
it anyway. Hi! What's your name?" Then joke with her: "Hey, I saw you
before. You planned that little bump, didn't you? I tell you, what some
women will do." (Again, don't forget your winning smile.)
Don't get too clever with approach lines. Just take a look at her and
find something you can ask her about. Is she wearing a cool watch? A
nice necklace? Nice shoes? Then you come up to her and say: "Hi, I
noticed your watch/shoes/whatever, and I wondered if you got that in
this neighborhood? I'm looking for something for my sister." Then,
always follow up with a teasing comment: "I mean, she's a lot younger
than you, but you're pretty fashionable for an old lady." And give a big
smile to show her you're busting her balls. If she gets indignant or
weird, you excuse yourself and move on. But that's pretty rare. More
than likely, you've got yourself a conversation with a woman.
Congratulations!
Then end with the "Well, I have to get back to my friends. It was nice
talking to you." And then get her number. For extra points in the Brass
Balls department, if the number of ladies in the group is roughly
equivalent to the number of guys in yours, bring them all over to your
table (after you get the gal's number you wanted.) Say: "Hey, I'd like
to offer some hospitality if you fine ladies would like to join up with
us and meet some new people." Your friends will be in awe of you. You
can wait on that one until you've gotten comfortable with the "break
into the herd" approach.
Don't do the lurking by the bathroom ploy. If she's got a big bladder,
you're in for a long wait. And you look a little silly and overzealous.
Just think to yourself what you would want if you were in a group of
friends. DUH! You'd WANT her to come over and break in to talk for a
minute, right? So why wouldn't SHE? (If you want to know an advanced
technique that will net you a much higher success in getting her number,
get THE DATING BLACK BOOK. I've got the breakdown on the process of
getting the number before you scare her off.)
Remember, guys: If she's interested, she doesn't care how you introduce
yourself, just as long as you DO.
Good luck!
Carlos Xuma
www.datingdynamics.com
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